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Taranos262
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05 Apr 2020, 7:37 am

A therapist and several psychiatrists think i should go to a group home, to live there. Now im really scared of losing practically all of my rights. They probably think i cant live independently on my own. But im actually not that severely autistic. Now i ask does someone has experiences with group homes? How restrictive are these homes for adults? Maybe all private posessions are banned? Maybe you cant even leave the home on your own? Are relationsships even allowed outside and inside? Will you be isolated from the outside? What rights do you even have?



Velorum
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05 Apr 2020, 7:48 am

I visit group homes on a regular basis as part of my work role

I'm not sure of how regulation works in your country but here in the UK any homes that removed personal possessions etc would be shut down very quickly

A lot that I see have a good mix of people that get on, learn from each other and are mutually supportive

Its probably down to the culture of the organisation thats running the home and the quality of any support staff that they are providing

For some they are not a very good option - for others they are great

The best way to make a decision is to visit and get the feel of any that are suggested and if it seems like a good idea talk to key people about a transition plan for moving in that involves short stays etc


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Taranos262
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05 Apr 2020, 7:54 am

But just how strict are they? Or are there many Different types of group homes that range from homes for the severely disabled to only slightly disabled?

Of course it makes sense to ban now visits, and going outside because od corona. But if they do this normally too, isnt it more like a prison?



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05 Apr 2020, 8:21 am

Some people find them the best thing that ever happened to them. Others may not get on. It varies from home to home, but maybe you can ask to visit a few and ask those that live there. You will usually find someone friendly who wants to talk. :)
There will be the odd limit compared to the larger space that an individual home provides. For example, if you are into a hobby that needs a lot of space (I am into model railways) you may find it limiting, or if you are the type of person who needs a lot of "Me" time to unwind and relax. (Some group homes are nice and quiet and some have even complained they are too quiet! Others are the complete opposite).

The problem is, you will not really know unless you try it. It would be good if you could try one as a type of short term holiday to see if you like it. :)



Taranos262
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05 Apr 2020, 8:41 am

What about relationsships? Will relationsships be allowed? How much will they be limited? Or are relationsships usually banned inside as well as outside the group home? I heard things Like mobile phones are banned too. Why is that? Is it eben allowed to step outside without someone from the staff following you everywhere for your "safety"? Is there even privacy?



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05 Apr 2020, 9:16 am

Sadly I can't answer that as I don't know and even here in rhe UK this varies from home to home and the individuals needs.
For example, someone with a severe case of altzimers would for their own safety, not be allowed outside the building. Others will be safe and some homes will be set up accordingly to allow the freedom to come and go. Homes do tend to specialize to accomodate specific needs, so if there are lots of altzimers patients there will be a group home specifically designed to accomodate them, where they may not be allowed out rhe building, but they will have a large communial room they share to give them a degree of space etc.
Other homes are more like shelters for the night. So it varies. A few homes allow husbands and wives to live together and others may not.
It all depends on the reasons why a group home was suggested to you.
I think it is a good idea to ask those who suggested a group home to elaborate on how it would help you and what changes there would likely be to your daily life (If any).
Usually with a group home the idea is not to restrict you but accomodate your needs. The basic principle is only to restrict where absolutely neccessary, as they have to have a good reason for doing so. However, there are likely to be one or two rules, and yes. You do need to find out these rules. But if you could find out what homes they are suggesting and try to find out more about them then hopefully it will put your mind at ease.
Sadly I can't answer.
I only know a little about UK care homes as my grandmother went in two before she died and we also visited another two on occasions where elderly family friends had needed to live in them.
Here in the UK we also have complexes, which are individual homes all within a complex where there is a warden who keeps and eye on them to make sure everyone is kept safe etc. These are very private and each one is as if someone had a private house, but they have the warden to call on if they have any needs.



Taranos262
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05 Apr 2020, 9:19 am

Im scared that they might not accept that im gay, and maybe because of that they will not allow any relationships. I dont want them necessarily find out that im gay or that i habe a boyfriend for example. Maybe you're not even allowed to have any relationsship at all?



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05 Apr 2020, 9:33 am

Taranos262 wrote:
Im scared that they might not accept that im gay, and maybe because of that they will not allow any relationships. I dont want them necessarily find out that im gay or that i habe a boyfriend for example. Maybe you're not even allowed to have any relationsship at all?


Be open with your concerns if you can and ask them because you may find some homes will be flexible with this and others may not.
It is better to state your concerns now so they can find somewhere suitable, then put you in a place that does not suit your needs. Is also good to visit the home that will be suggested to check they are ok with your requirements.

And it is better to be open and find out now, then end up in a mess later. So do not worry. After all. You can always say no and stay as you are if you don't like the sound of it.

So be brave and honest. Of course, you only need tell those who are directly involved in the arrangements, as you do have the rights to privacy. :)



Taranos262
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05 Apr 2020, 9:46 am

My biggest fear is that such a group home, is more like a prison than a home.



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05 Apr 2020, 10:00 am

I understand those fears. Why I suggest visiting a few suggested homes and asking questions to those who run the homes is the key.



Taranos262
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05 Apr 2020, 10:13 am

This could take months or even up to years.



luzzybinnedheart
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05 Apr 2020, 4:30 pm

:(


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livingwithautism
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08 Apr 2020, 8:37 pm

I live in a group home in an urban area. I like it.



Velorum
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09 Apr 2020, 12:53 am

I will be visiting two group homes in London a little later this morning

Neither of them are prison like in the sense of restrictions etc in my view

Subject to risk assessments to ensure safeguarding relating to possible vulnerability and where needed the provision of additional support, relationships including those of a sexual nature are not prohibited at all. In fact they are supported where individuals have expressed a need and preference. This includes same sex relationships

Not all group homes are the same - which is why you have to visit and get a feel for things


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09 Apr 2020, 1:24 am

When I was 21 I was moved into a group home with around 10 other people, and I hated it. I had to share a bedroom, get up early every morning, do several chores daily, and wasn't allowed to go anywhere by myself for several days. Afterwards I was allowed to go out by myself, which I did as much as possible because I hated being there and my anxiety was at an all-time high. The other residents had mental illness like chronic schizophrenia. They smoked constantly and were allowed to smoke indoors in a "smoking room", as if that kept the rest of the home from becoming toxic. I had to live there for almost a year. No one knew I had Asperger's at the time and thought my desire for privacy and being alone were from being "behaviorally dysfunctional". The thing I hated about it the most was the spread of germs and illness. Even though we were cleaning all the time it was virtually impossible to keep the place germ-free. About every other month I would get a cold or flu. Thanks to my emetophobia being around people with stomach flu in the home was a nightmare. The staff would come in when they were sick as well. Being there now during this pandemic would be beyond my worst dreams. In fact I still have dreams where I'm back in the group home with no memory of how I ended up there and want to leave and go back to my apartment, but someone else has moved into it.

People are always putting autistic people in places and situations that are the worst for them to be in. :(
If this has made the OP more scared, I'm sorry. This was just my own personal experience.



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09 Apr 2020, 8:23 am

If one does end up in a group home and it turns out they don't like that particular place, aren't people usually allowed to leave them?