Past crush cringe

Post Reply New Topic

Do you ever look back on how you behaved with crushes when you were younger and just cringe?

I miss the youthful positivity. You always think "love" is going to be a wonderful thing and you go with the flow and let your emotions take the lead. You're genuinely happy to show your feelings because these are nice happy feelings.

But looking back it was:
(1) a waste of time because none of the men were ever interested
(2) really pathetic because they weren't interested
(3) horribly embarrassing because I had none to little social awareness, so I didn't understand how cringey it all was.
(4) even more cringey because I was so forward and genuine with too many guys and couldn't read the signals

I got back in touch with someone I had a crush on years ago. Quarantine is boring and I just wanted to see how they are I like this person as a friend and I don't have romantic feelings for them now, but I can't bear to actually meet up with them in person, not that that's an option right now, because I'm embarrassed about how immature and unabashedly I behaved in the past.

This person tolerated me the most I think, treated me with dignity and I've always respected that. Everyone else ignored me or cut me off.

Now, I have a little crush in some one who is too young for me, so I'm not bothering to talk to him. Well, I'm not going out of my way to. I don't rudely ignore him. I've learned my lesson though and I'm more cautious. Not that we'll run into each other soon anyway either with social distancing.

Yey, the thoughts that plague you at 11.30pm.

I cringe at my past crushing behaviour too.

Tended towards assuming they’d never be interested and pining and stewing about it until I gave away how worked up I’d got, usually in a dramatically humiliating way.
Fun times.

Not really tbh.

I’m very good friends with the top 3 crushes of my life and they each know I love them.

The first was never going to happen lol he’s straight. I was instrumental in him and his gf staying together. Now I’m Godfather to their kids and baby number 3 is almost here.

The second I’ve known for about 8 years and he’s been happily partnered for the last 5. He knows I love him for the friend he is to me and always will be. I <3 his family, too. He’s the Herbalist and his father is the Naturopathic Doctor that changed my life with what I learned from and because of them that led to being able to treat my ASD symptoms. I may only see him once every year or so now, but it’s always a meaningful *hug* and conversation that picks up where we last left off. Gonna make a trek to the liquor store soon to buy a bottle for his dad who still lives in my neighbourhood - as I have every holiday for several years now.

The third I’d still marry if I could. It’s been a few years and I still have a crush on him - but I accept that he’ll never be attracted to me like that. The daydreams are still welcome and pleasant, though. Last year I had a realization about just how good he was to me a few years ago so when I took him out for his bday/Christmas dinner, I gave him a couple of gifts that he felt were so thoughtful that they literally made him cry. It was a beautiful moment.

Any cringey moments with any of them are really rather super minor so they don’t bother me at all. The truly loving life long friendships I have out of each of them make any of the cringey or heartache kind of moments well worthwhile. I am truly blessed in that regard.

I had a crush and obsession with a bus-driver back in 2008 and 2009, and I acted like such a big idiot on the bus.
I'd hang around him and flirt, and he liked it but he had a wife so he only kept it casual. I was only 18 or 19 and was still young and foolish. But it all led to him getting reported by frequent passengers, which caused an argument between both of us and I ended up having an adult tantrum in front of everyone, because of the frustration of not being allowed to talk to him any more, like it was a restraint order or something.
So I really showed myself up in front of other people all because I couldn't control my obsessive behaviours, and the worst thing about it is these same passengers still get on the same bus now, even though I don't get on this particular bus much any more but when I do I see them. I bet back in 2009 I was the main gossip among all the regular passengers, and I don't think they will ever forget because whenever they see me they probably just think of me as "that slu*ty girl that flirted with the bus-drivers".
But I just act casual like I'm showing that I've matured more and don't care about bus-drivers any more. So maybe they will just look at it as a teenage phase I was going through. But even so, what I did was still a bit extreme.

Thanks. You're right. The friendship is more important than any embarrassing moments along the way.

Mmhmm. At the crucial moment in each of these friendships where this conversation was necessary, I made it very clear that I would rather have them in my life as a friend forever than not at all. The fact that I have a couple other friends like this made the third conversation go over much easier as I have evidence that I have that capacity to have such a friend. That’s been a Godsend for this friendship, IMO, as this particular friend does have a habit of completely excommunicating people from his life that he no longer wants in it. I suppose sometimes, or maybe even always, he’s justified in doing so. And I’m glad he’s chosen not to do that to me and that we’re friends that stay in touch. It’s been nice to chat with him during this self iso time and cheer him up a little when he’s been feeling down or stressed out over a C-19 related job loss & finances etc. It was also nice to happen to be online to calm his nerves before a minor surgery when his parents were both away from their phones. And it’s just nice, in general, to maintain our friendship even if I only see him once a year or at random like when I bumped into him downtown last Autumn and we went out for lunch. In part because of his voice - it’s so unique and alluring even when he’s just speaking, but it’s also nice to be able to watch and listen to each cover song he puts out on YouTube. I’m sure he appreciates the positive feedback I give him, too.

yes, past crushes are so cringy it pains me to even think about them.