How to tell if somebody is faking ASD?

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Hello, so I have aspergers myself for sure but somebody close to me also claims to have it but I don't know and have doubts. They too have been diagnosed with ASD, but are female (I am a male) and have been to schools for people with autism and claim to have brain scans proving their autism.

But I am unsure if they have autism for the following reasons:

-They are disagreeable towards other people and sometimes downright demeaning with a tone that sounds intentionally frustrating to hear. They know specific things to say when angry that cause maximum anger from me and others during arguments.

-They sometimes exhibit VERY extreme ASD symptoms such as going nonverbal temporarily and intense stimmimg over sensory overload but sometimes don't react at all to the same stimuli and seem to be "overwhelmed" when they are losing an argument. Inconsistent severity of symptoms with possible agenda.

-They are a pathological liar and admit to making up grand narratives about themselves, their thoughts, and their feelings for attention. Some of their ploys for attention seem beyond the complexity that one with autism could come up with.

Would you say she could be faking ASD or am I paranoid?

How can I tell?

Why would someone "fake ASD"?

To be excused for certain behaviors that in a neurotypical would be manipulative or indicative of ill intent or lack of consideration.

Because they think it is a more socially acceptable diagnosis than their actual diagnosis?

I don't know how even a pdoc can sort out people with complex problems. And I believe DSM-5 allows more overlapping conditions than previous DSMs.

You can't. Just because their situation is not yours doesn't mean much. The fact that she can needle you says nothing except that you can be thin skinned.

I don't like veiled, passive aggressive insults so I will handle this in an honest way. I do not like you, and your answer is horrible and judgemental, and did not answer my question at all. You aren't thinking very critically and I pass judgement to you in return.

Nothing veiled or passive aggressive here. Just because someone can tell falsehoods, be manipulative, or not fit into someone's personal experience does not exclude Asperger's. I just feel your definition is limited and possibly incorrect.

If she indeed has a diagnosis and has been to a special school, she'd need to have been able to fake ASD as a small child. I doubt she had the knowledge to intentionally fake any specific disorder at that time. Of course misdiagnosis is possible or lying about her past is possible if all you have is her word.

Still, none of the things you listed indicate that she can't have ASD.

Being disagreeable and having ASD is not a contradiction. Some people with ASD do not have a monotone voice. Both a normal intonation and an intonation that is not appropriate for the situation but not neutral are possible. Not everyone with ASD has too impaired theory of mind to know how to hurt another person with words.


That you interpret something as the same stimulus does not mean that it is the only stressful stimulus she is exposed to or has been exposed to lately. Shutdown may occur when too much sensory or other stress built up and not due to one individual stimulus.
Perhaps she sometimes fakes her symptoms. However, even if she does, that does not mean she can't have ASD. It'd just means she's a dishonest person.


Not everyone with autism has the same theory of mind impairments. If she has ASD she needs to have some impairment that affects her ability to do social interaction. An inability to understand how lying works or what lies another person may believe is not required.

However, ASD does not exclude having additional psychological disorders. Whether or not she has ASD, she could have a personality disorder or something else that causes her to be mean and dishonest.

There's not much to gain by faking ASD, unless it is a way to relate, like shaving one's head in solidarity with a friend in chemo. There are a lot of people who have several "conditions" that present somewhat contradictory symptoms who will never be successfully classified, but they can still benefit from group therapy sessions, gleaning bits of insight from many people, but often moving on.
"The Guru is anyone who knows one fact that you need."

It sounds rather like ASD + other personality issues, possibly effects of bad childhood.

Ask to see her diagnostic report. Ask her where she was diagnosed and see if you can find that place or the doctor(s) who diagnosed her. Ask her when she was diagnosed and what the precise diagnosis was (some ASD diagnoses no longer exist or didn't exist at certain points in the past).

Ask her which school she went to and see if that school ever existed and whether it existed where she says she attended. Ask her for the name of at least one of her teachers and see if you can find any information about that person.

Ask one of her friends or family members whether she has been diagnosed and whether she has ever lied about it.

Ask her what her autistic symptoms are and see if they make any sense.

Why does it matter anyway?
If she behaves in a way that makes you uncomfortable, she's not a good material for your friend and a diagnosis or lack of it does not matter.
If you feel comfortable with someone, they is a good friend material and their diagnoses or lack of them don't matter.

One can have the same condition as you and be a jerk. One can have no diagnosable condition and be open-minded, considerate and loving person.

I think of ASD as folks with extremes. I am the extremely sensitive sort - have always been. That said, there is a poster on here he went from being bullied to being the bully (ang was good at it) and went back. It's possible. What's interesting to me is that my (NT?) sister is fairly mean and she is raising her ASD daughter accordingly. Lying is a skill and while I spent my time developing my other communication skills it is possible an ASD person would work to develop lying (as a "protective" measure) and be very good at it. I have seen my ASD niece judge and pick on others and my sister encourage it. It's awful (to me), and clearly it happens. My sister would say she's teaching her daughter important skills (my sister has always been disgusted with my sensitivity).

Judging only from what you are posting here, it seems most clear that you have a serious beef with this person. I don't see information that really undermines an ASD diagnosis though.

Sometimes when people hurt us, it is natural to want to do the same in return. I caution against a "you're not even a real [insert identity here]" way of thinking though. Being exclusionary can often do more harm than good, and on multiple fronts.

From what I know, the school is definitely real. The autism diagnosis is real. I question its validity for the behaviors I listed but maybe I am being narrow minded and restrictive about this. I do not dislike this person and actually would like to see them improve as a person and we actually bond over our ASD symptoms.

Two people with ASD won't necessarily get along. That's like saying two people with bipolar or even a neurotypical development should be able to bond over their neurology. It also sounds like she / you could have comorbid conditions and those may be at odds. Scrutinising her diagnosis and debating it online with strangers doesn't sound like the best way to solidify your friendship.