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QFT
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28 Apr 2020, 4:11 pm

Three things I know about the way Asperger affects me is that:

1. My social skills seem to be much worse than most other people on this board
2. I don't have any sensory issues altogether.
3. I don't have any problem with changes *as long as* I am the one who initiates them

Now, we all know that male aspies have more severe social skill definits than female aspies. But what about sensory issues. Could it be that sensory issues is what female aspies have worse? If so, that would be in line with male vs female difference across NT-s. NT male have worse social skills than females but NT females are more sensitive than NT males.

Also, what about item 3. I feel like 2 and 3 seem to fall into the same line, its pretty much "I will do just fine if you leave me alone and stop reminding me that I am an outcast". That seems like the male feeling, no? So do aspie females have more problem with changing than aspie males?

To put it another way, I am an elephant in china cabinet. So, as such, I don't have sensory issues nor do I fear changes -- but then people around me keep getting upset by every move I make and so I get upset at them back. Maybe thats what male aspies are like? But a female aspie, on the other hand, is ultra-sensitive so they might suffer sensory issues and fear of changes -- but the good side of it is that their sensitivity helps them not to offend anyone and thats why they are well liked.

But actually I have no idea whether aspie females have more severe sensory issues or are more afraid of changes than aspie males. I am just speculating. Now, please let me know: is my speculation correct?



kraftiekortie
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28 Apr 2020, 4:34 pm

It depends on the Aspie. I wouldn’t generalize about how a gender presents itself. It depends on the individual.

There are females who present very much like their male counterparts.

Then there are those who have the “female” presentation.



IsabellaLinton
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28 Apr 2020, 4:46 pm

QFT wrote:
Now, we all know that male aspies have more severe social skill deficits than female aspies.


Pardon me? That's not true.

QFT wrote:
So do aspie females have more problem with changing than aspie males?

A female aspie, on the other hand, is ultra-sensitive so they might suffer sensory issues and fear of changes -- but the good side of it is that their sensitivity helps them not to offend anyone and thats why they are well liked.

But actually I have no idea whether aspie females have more severe sensory issues or are more afraid of changes than aspie males. I am just speculating. Now, please let me know: is my speculation correct?



No, that's not correct.

I'm not an "Aspie". I'm autistic. But, I know that gender isn't a defining feature.

ASD is a spectrum -- for everyone.


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Dear_one
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29 Apr 2020, 6:43 am

In my tiny statistical universe, my mother enforced near-silence when she could, and had more friends. I usually have music on, and only get irritated by noise if I want to sleep, or it is particularly obnoxious. I think that most people are more resistant to imposed change than self-initiatives. It is hard to separate the ways that AS affects men and women from the ways that we are always treated differently, even by the "Equality" bandwagon. Mothers are "always right" because they must deal with developing children, not peers. Certainly, Ma Nature considers men more expendable, and may well experiment more on us in hopes of getting a savant.



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29 Apr 2020, 7:07 am

Everyone on my father's side knew my mother was different. And not in good way. Though my brother was equally as bad. My father's side was a big social group. Mom's side was a bunch of loners.



The_Walrus
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29 Apr 2020, 7:12 am

There’s a lot of rhetoric about the gender gap being because autistic girls are more likely to attempt masking. Personally I think that’s a “just so story”. There are certainly some autistic women who masked as children and evaded diagnosis into adulthood because they didn’t fit the mould, but that’s true for people of all genders and none, and I’m not actually convinced that there are any significant differences between autistic men and women beyond the sort we see in humans generally.

I don’t buy this “women are more sensitive” thing and I’d be surprised if autistic women turned out to be significantly keener on routines than autistic people of other genders.



BTDT
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29 Apr 2020, 7:28 am

I don't think evading diagnosis is the right description.

Many women have had numerous incorrect diagnosis or just told outright that they were "fine."
The tests have a male bias. No, our society has a gender bias. The most valuable Lionel train is pink.
The local toy store had them for years and couldn't sell them. They finally painted them black and got rid of them!
I was shopping for clothes one day and a father was trying to convince his boy that it was wrong to want a Barbie doll.



Mountain Goat
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29 Apr 2020, 7:33 am

I think the main stereotypes are in regards to women and mens characteristics in generalrather then if rhey are on the spectrum or not and this then could make being on the spectrum slightly more difficult to detect in women?
I am assuming I am on the spectrum as I write, as I have found out so much about myself in recent months, that it would be surprizing to find out if I am not on the spectrum, so here goes...
Assuming that I am on the spectrum, I have been one who has slipped through the net, and this is chiefly due to masking which I learn from an earlyage and I find myself adapting as I go through life. When I first heard about masking alarm bells were ringing, but it took some inward thought to find out why. I could fully identify with the masking concept, but as masking was such an everyday way of life where I was ALWAYS masking, it took thought because I knew no different. If I was a type of person who masked and unmasked regularly then it would be easier to have that lightbulb moment, but for me, I could easily identify the one lot of masking which basically patched over the top of other masks, but the other masks were only apparent after I had a few deeper ephisodes of burnout in the last two years and the last one left me for a while where I was glitching between the deeper masks and being totally unmasked, which was soo terrifying for me that I wanted to avoid all public places as I felt totally exposed and childlike.
It is interesting that I say childlike, because the last time I was not masking, was when I was an early child, and mentally I was glitching back to being as I was before I first masked, and this was especially noted in the way I walked and moved my body. It was like I was learning all over again to do these things! Not in a severe way but ore in a learning how long my legs and arms were sort of way if that makes any sense?



naturalplastic
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29 Apr 2020, 7:39 am

To be honest: it does indeed SEEM like that there is a disparity on WP between the genders on sensory issues. It does seem like the vast majority of WPers who talk about sensory issues are female. Females seem to speak more often, and with more intensity about the subject.Males who chimes in about it are usually in the minority on a thread, and the thread was always started by a female. Maybe women autistics have more sensory issues, or maybe women autistics are more open about talking about the topic, or maybe its some combination of both. Who knows?

The point is that the OP maybe on to something on that point.



Dear_one
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29 Apr 2020, 7:46 am

BTDT wrote:
I don't think evading diagnosis is the right description.

Many women have had numerous incorrect diagnosis or just told outright that they were "fine."
The tests have a male bias. No, our society has a gender bias. The most valuable Lionel train is pink.
The local toy store had them for years and couldn't sell them. They finally painted them black and got rid of them!
I was shopping for clothes one day and a father was trying to convince his boy that it was wrong to want a Barbie doll.


Every culture has gender roles, because ever since Ma Nature invented gender, every critter on Earth has had to answer two questions on encountering another before knowing how to behave. Species AND gender.



Amity
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29 Apr 2020, 8:01 am

It's a spectrum, we are all different, the broad sweeping generalisations are just inaccurate at best.


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The_Walrus
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29 Apr 2020, 8:04 am

BTDT wrote:
I don't think evading diagnosis is the right description.

Many women have had numerous incorrect diagnosis or just told outright that they were "fine."
The tests have a male bias. No, our society has a gender bias. The most valuable Lionel train is pink.
The local toy store had them for years and couldn't sell them. They finally painted them black and got rid of them!
I was shopping for clothes one day and a father was trying to convince his boy that it was wrong to want a Barbie doll.

Agree. What term would you use to describe autistic people who don’t receive an autism diagnosis until adulthood?



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29 Apr 2020, 8:36 am

I've been told by mods that these "Who has it harder, men or women?" -threads are no longer allowed on WP. Since there's a mod commenting this without locking it, does that mean that I've misunderstood something?



kraftiekortie
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29 Apr 2020, 8:57 am

There is no monolithic term for a person who doesn’t receive an autism diagnosis until adulthood.

It’s possible that a person might be overlooked in a school system which is overloaded with work.

Many children with autistic characteristics—whether male or female—exhibit them subtly and are thus overlooked.

The reason why I was diagnosed when young was because I exhibited “no doubt,” blatant characteristics from a very young age.



IsabellaLinton
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29 Apr 2020, 9:14 am

The_Walrus wrote:
What term would you use to describe autistic people who don’t receive an autism diagnosis until adulthood?


Autistic. There's a good chance they will have co-morbid conditions too, because of the delayed identification.


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The_Walrus
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29 Apr 2020, 9:21 am

Fireblossom wrote:
I've been told by mods that these "Who has it harder, men or women?" -threads are no longer allowed on WP. Since there's a mod commenting this without locking it, does that mean that I've misunderstood something?

Well, my take is that this is a sincere (if perhaps a little naive) question about potential differences in how autism manifests between men and women, rather than an attempt to bash men or women or say that one gender has it harder or easier. Perhaps another mod would have another interpretation.