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alobaby
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27 Apr 2020, 5:53 pm

My friend has a really hard time dealing with routine changes and has to do the same specific things every day, otherwise, he starts to panic and have a meltdown. I was wondering if anyone had any advice on how he can cope with that when he ends up having a meltdown? All I can find are child-related coping skills, but I think coping skills for teens and adults would help too. He also ends up sleeping a lot and gets really depressed after his routine is messed up and then doesn't the spoons to do his usual routine, so he's stuck in a cycle. Any advice?



Dear_one
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29 Apr 2020, 3:08 pm

I'm just guessing, but I'd suggest a "novelty" period in every daily schedule. Use the Calvinball rules - do anything, as long as it wasn't done before. It can start with very small changes, like browsing a new book, and proceed to going new places and doing new things.



Mountain Goat
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29 Apr 2020, 5:39 pm

Does he have a hobby? Sometimes introducing new avenues to explore within the hobby may just be a way to help, but one thing I will say is that when a person is stressed, they like to cling onto what is familiar rather then trying to cling onto what is not. It is a natural thing to do. For example, if I go somewhere where I know I am going to have anxiety, I bring along a comfort item like a book about model railways. I just hold it and look again at the same pictures I have seen hundreds of times before. I may only read a tiny bit as just looking at something familiar can take my mind off the situation that I am in that I am not very good at dealing with. I hope that helps explain why people like keeping to the same. They are under stress.
The easiest way to get someone to explore new avenues are when they are not stressed, to take something they are familiar with like a hobby or past time that can be expanded upon. For example, if he likes castles, go and visit one. If he likes trains, go and see something train connected. While doing this one is giving oneself a change of enviroment with the journey. This is a good starting point... But it is much better to do it on his good days. Dont do it when he is stressed.



timf
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30 Apr 2020, 9:34 am

The easiest way to get someone to explore new avenues are when they are not stressed, to take something they are familiar with like a hobby or past time that can be expanded upon.

Another way to apply this advice is to take something routine like a 10am cup of coffee and introduce a choice (like using a cup or mug). When the choice is to be made, one can flip a coin. Here an element of uncertainty is introduced, but in a way it limits the uncertainty to two choices either of which will not be a surprise as well as both being acceptable.

This can slowly allow the experience of uncertainty to become more familiar yet still controlled.



alobaby
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02 May 2020, 12:32 am

Thank you all so much, this is all great advice!! ! I will let him know!! <3



sport
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02 May 2020, 11:19 am

I learned over the yrs to calm down with my alone time and my wife helps the problem to settle in.