Lowest point of my life right now

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Hope all you are doing better than I am.I had a bad meltdown today.My boss thinks I'm using my disability as an excuse to not work.I am under a very high amount of stress since the covid stuff started not to mention after everything today I found out that my Moms boyfriend may be at death's door and the universe sends me the vibe way too often that I'm no good and it wants me gone.There are many problems with this universe.The fact that well intentioned words and actions don't matter,you'll still be thought of in too many of those moments as destructive or think that you are. Too often people assume that other people are not of good intentions. Way too many give in to worrying more than enjoying what they have.This is not why the universe exists! The universe is supposed to be a gift! Hopefully humans don't succeed moving the domain of Lucifer completely out and up from the human mind and onto the very surface of the Earth as if it isn't here already?! To me the devil if he exists, exists mostly within the mind and that deludes humans to act with delusion.Not that he does or doesn't.Certainly either that or the universe is prone to going from order to disorder.

It is unfortunate that real handicaps are imitated by people who are simply lazy, which steals credibility. However, most children feign helplessness to avoid new chores at least once, and some think that's all there is to it. Fortunately, science is sometimes helpful for expanding views.
These are indeed trying times, but people are often surprised at how much they can do. I've gone beyond my known limits a few times. A near-death experience can lead to a fearless subsequent life. We can at least know that there are others in far worse shape.

Sorry to hear how you’ve been feeling. Hope your Mom’s boyfriend’s condition does a turnabout, and that he’ll be alright. It sounds to me like you have the right attitude about life. It IS a gift, and should never be taken for granted. Some of us have difficult lives, but being able to appreciate the positives, well that’s an admirable quality. I hope your working life improves for the better as time goes on, and that the other day’s events were just a glitch. There are always better days ahead... we need the bad days occasionally, to make us appreciate the good ones!

My Moms boyfriend is feeling alot better now and I've been pretty much at peace for several days now.Thank you for your kind words!

So glad to hear. {{{{Hokieman7}}}}