Receiving counselling when you are autistic

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In the past, I have gotten counselling for various issues but it unfortunately has not been useful and has made some things worse by the counsellor perceiving my autism traits as odd or not having a full understanding of them.

I am thinking of getting counselling in University but regarding what I have just said, could it be useful? Can therapy be useful for autistic people even if the counsellor is not specialised in autism?

I've had counselling in the past and I don't think it helped. It was nice to get to talk to someone about my problems without feeling obliged to ask how the other party's life is going (well, not that it's an obligation to want to know how friends and family are doing, but you know what I mean). But I found that 50 minutes per session wasn't long enough, and those 50 minutes just whizzed by. I need a whole week, 9am-5pm, to talk about my issues, not 50 minutes per week for 6 weeks.

I just use WP as a form of counselling these days. It seems to get a lot off my chest and I can come here when I like and people can read or reply when they like if they like.

I had three sessions with a therapist that does not specialize in autism and knew little to nothing about autistic people; however my sessions were about PTSD and the therapist was a PTSD specialist. I would say that it was helpful for PTSD related issues, but not helpful at all for autism related issues which again was fine since I was not seeing the therapist for that.

I have however had sessions with a very experienced autism therapist about autism related issues. This therapist only has two specialties: Working with autistic teens and adults and Chemical Dependency. This therapist has been very helpful to me. Most of what I've needed the therapist's guidance and feedback on are practical issues related to social interaction with family, coworkers and at work. I don't do CBT, etc. Generally I know what's best for me in regard to my mental health; I struggle with those practical things such as how to deal with a sibling, parent, coworker, boss, etc. This therapist is sort of a guide, interpreter and even a mentor in regard to my dealings with the NT world and all from a very pro-autism perspective; there's no NT bashing, but my therapist is also very blunt and frank about certain NT behavior being what it is. "NTs often obsess about or place importance on office politics crap.", etc. In no way is the goal to "fix" my autism or change my behavior to be more NT. I'm not broken. There are things that about the world that I would argue are broken and my therapist helps me with ideas on how to navigate through this world that isn't designed for autistics.

Yes, it can be useful. Try a couple meet-and-greets. It sounds like you will need a very particular fit since the past ones were not useful and even hurtful.

For myself I would say all my counselling has been useful (although some could have been more useful). So apparently I am not very particular. I now have an ASD therapist- it's her specialty - with her I process trauma and explore taking action. But I also kept my "regular" therapist who helps me do social scripting. At first my regular therapist didn't think I could have ASD, so I unmasked. She consulted a coworker who knew more about ASD and we're good now. That's the sign of a good counselor in my mind: they don't have to know about, but if they go and learn about it: good counselor.

Wishing you wellness.

It probably depends on what you see the therapist for, whether the therapist knows anything about autism, the therapist's attitude about autism, and what the therapist's specialty is.

Personally I have not found therapy helpful, and bad experiences have soured me on it, so I avoid it. Those therapists had no idea that I wasn't neurotypical, however. If you feel the need to talk to someone about your problems, or you need an outside perspective on your problems, therapy may be helpful.

You might try a phone call or initial meeting with the therapist to find out about the therapist's knowledge, therapeutic approach, and whether the therapist is going to treat you like you are broken because of autism.

I’ve seen therapists since childhood and they rarely helped. They don’t see my other side when I’m socially anxious so those sessions are useless. They see me and don’t see anything different about me and they don’t understand why I’m there. I explain it in as much detail as I can and give examples of my day to day and they just can’t relate. It seems that unless you actually live the life of an Aspie it’s very difficult to relate. I’ve had my diagnosis late in life and I’m glad there’s a name to whatever I gave because it sure was frustrating. Now I just try to stay positive and appreciate my family. I’ve just started working and that’s been brutal socially, but I keep my chin up and hope for the best.

I am actually female but don’t know how to change that in settings....

My experience with therapists has not been good, but I don't want to entirely discourage you because if you feel you need help it might be worthwhile to try to get some help.

My problem with therapists was that their expectations were that I would be a certain way -- the way that people usually are, I guess -- so when I tried to describe how I felt or how I experienced things they just didn't believe me. I would tell them that I was bad at interacting with people, and that it was difficult to be in a conversation or make friends, and they thought I needed reassurance, so they would say, "You are doing fine talking to me right now." That was very unhelpful. It was like being shut down and being told "You are not allowed to have that problem."

In the end it did more harm than good to see any of the therapists I saw. But maybe if you could name for the therapist something very specific that you wanted help with, a therapist might be able to focus on that and actually be helpful.

Yes counseling "can be useful"

"Can", "should", and "will" are all three different things

Everything is good, bad, both, or neither

You have to ask, which counselor helped which autistic , do what

Different counselors are different

Different autistics are different

Every situation is different

Splitting fine hairs

I know a counsellor who is on the spectrum herself. (Actually two of them, if you count WP.)

She "gets it" more than anyone else I've ever met. Sometimes an NT counsellor who specialises in ASD can be very helpful, but more often than not they try to do CBT which doesn't help autistic people. CBT makes me feel like a failure because I can't "outsmart" my autism cognitively.