Physical contact with others.

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Like many others on the spectrum, I have a strong dislike of physical contact with others. I'm okay with the little bit of involuntary contact on say, a bus or train, when people accidentally may jostle each other. My problem is with deliberate contacts, such as hugs, handshakes, etc. It bothers others if I reject their hugs and other such contacts. Over my more than 6 decades of life, I've managed to learn to suppress the urge to push people away, in spite of my strong feelings of wanting to not have such contacts, but I don't encourage such contacts. I am handling this well, but it has gotten me to wonder:

Why do so many people on the spectrum have such an aversion to friendly physical contact with others? What is the cause of this strong feeling?

I would appreciate hearing from others here on WP about their thoughts on this. Maybe, if we knew more about the cause or reason for it, we could handle these negative urges better.

Thanks to the existence of WP I have a place to turn to for answers to my Aspy questions. And thanks to your other non-spectrum types of forums, I can sometimes get answers to other, non-spectrum issues, too.

Like others on the spectrum, I had a hard life dealing with the rest of the world. I knew I wasn't stupid, or some kind of moron, but I couldn't refute the feelings of being some kind of freak until I found out I was an Aspy. Finding out that my various problems were caused by a real neurological glitch, and that others also had this glitch, was a big relief, and also gave me a better understanding of my condition. There's no cure for it, but there are treatments and coping methods that do help, and comparing notes, and asking questions here on WP helps to share all that info with others on the spectrum.

Thanks WP, and thanks WP community!

Hmm interesting.. Even handshakes bother you? That's the thing that doesn't bother me much, cause I know I can keep'em away from my personal space.

For me it's due to hypersensitivity as well. Physical sensations can be very intense for me. But it comes in particular from the information overload and being somehow scared of the happening. It's hard to describe it in words. And I don't wanna go into detail too much, cause I could tell much stuff about this topic.

What I can say is, that really enjoy hugging meanwhile(for example). The more I became used to something, the better my brain can handle it kind of.

i have always asked for permission of my friends i wanted to hug. most said yes, and i still wonder if they did so because they felt they were pressured to accept it. many felt like they were hugging me back and that's when it felt really good. a small few allowed me to repeat or hugged me back. one guy even wanted to in the nude (it was OK). there's a diversity among my friends.

it does feel a bit odd to me when someone else wants to hug me. i'm usually doing it or asking the first time. i do feel a lot of mental stimulation from it. and i've learned to deal with that kind of thing after my teen years. so i'm probably not the best to say why people dislike it. it probably is the sensation thing.

I got my AS from mother's side, and she was touch-averse. I didn't know what I was missing, but after I left home and found a better "family" with friends, I really enjoyed their hugs. I became so fond of contact that I was given some professional lessons in massage, which later led to employment at a spa. They did not require a license, just talent, and my clients' feedback was my job security. In this province of exile, I can't even get a decent hug, or buy a massage half as good as the ones I got at school. This is hardship for me.