Edna3362 wrote:
Tantrums: Not getting what the person wants, reaction with directed goal or motive, attention seeking, 'concious' and immature way of expressing dissatisfaction, stress-avoidance.
Whatever this is, it's not painful nor usually a cry from pain.
Meltdowns: Call for help, out of control and overwhelm, on one's upper limit, no regard of safety -- self-destructive, reaction to stress and anxiety, basically a state of being triggered.
And whatever this is, it's usually painful and done out of pain.
Same behaviors, usually very different intent.
Root causes can blur though. It is also possible to do both at the same time.
A good parent can discern between the two or see when the two states blur.
Also, with shutdowns -- compared to meltdowns, which has a very different behavior yet usually with same intent and root causes.
Never really thought about seperating them into the different catagories. However, I think that it's important to realize that throwing a 'emperor nero' tantrum (what you refer to as a tantrum) can result in a meltdown and the lines can often blur, and that Not getting their way can also result in a meltdown but it's not always about getting their way even if they might get it after. To me tantrum and meltdown have always been synonyms. Wolfram87 wrote:
Typically, a meltdown is evasive. The person wants to get away from the stimulus that caused the meltdown, be it a social confrontation or an environmental issue or what have you. Might turn violent, but typically only insomuch as is needed to continue getting away.
A tantrum is an explosive display of emotional dissatisfaction, a way to make yourself bothersome to the people around you until you get your way. Getting away would defeat the point of it.
Ahh this is very true. Often when I meltdown it's to get away from the stressors that are causing it.
Once, I'm in a place, I deem safe from those stressors i start to settle down. Only time i get violent is when people are in my way trying to stop me. I'm not sure if every Autistic persons meltdowns consist of this. Maybe when they can't get away from the stressors it turns into a violent fit of anger throwing things hitting people. I'm not sure. dragonsanddemons wrote:
I’ve always thought the key difference is that a tantrum is deliberate and a meltdown is not. Someone might throw a tantrum in order to get their way, and if they get it they’re bright and cheerful once more. If someone is having a meltdown, even if it’s for exactly the same reason, they would not be able to stop even if they got what they wanted, the meltdown would keep going regardless. Someone who is having a tantrum is upset, sure, but a meltdown occurs when something just completely overwhelms a person, and there’s not much they (or anyone else) can do about it besides wait it out, then talk to the person about the issue once they’re able to calm down.
At least, that’s the way I understand it. Also tantrums are not just an NT thing and meltdowns are not just ND things, both parties can have either (someone who is ND might be much more prone to meltdowns than most NTs (or not), but it can still happen to an NT person, and I think (though I don’t have enough data to confirm for sure) most ND people are perfectly capable of throwing a tantrum if they want to).
Emperor Nero Tantrums versus the emotional distress kind. It's important to understand that while nero tantrums can stop when they get hat they want it, They can also turn into meltdowns as you put it. Excellent point as to Autistic people throwing nero tantrums. I think autistic people might be less likely to pick up on the concept, But I see no reason why it can't happen. I think an autistic person trying to do something like that could be disasterous, however. As autistic people tend to be very rigid. I would not like to be a part of that. Autistic people also tend to be very bad at controlling their emotions. magz wrote:
My language doesn't have the word "tantrum" and my culture largely lacks the whole concept.
My kind-of-NT child "throwing tantrum" reacted best to a big hug and/ expression of understanding but keeping clear boundaries ("I understand you want this big ice cream" - loving hug - "but we agreed I can buy you a small ice cream")
My AS kid experiencing a meltdown reacts best to... a big hug and expression of understanding but keeping clear boundaries ("Shhh... I know, it's too loud here" - loving hug - "but it's no reason to kick your sister")
So, honestly, from my point of view, there's very little difference, if any. Both come from emotional overload because of either very immature emotionality of a small child ("tantrum") or sensory and emotional processing difficulties of an autistic person ("meltdown").
I guess the real difference starts if a child learns to act that way to manipulate others - but initially both are expressions of emotional overload.
Ahh yes, I read a book (as to why a teenager is reading parenting books) that referred to the manipulative tantrums as Emperor Nero tantrums. Yes in that book it outlined a parenting technique involving expressing understanding and setting clear boundaries. This seems to work well. People want to be understood. I feel like this is a good mindset. It's important to let people understand that you realise why it's happening but also set clear limits.
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I am pieplup i have level 3 autism and a number of severe mental illnesses. I am rarely active on here anymore.
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12 Jul 2020, 4:33 am
