My Parents don't trust me to go anywhere.

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Joined: 15 Dec 2015
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13 Jul 2020, 4:07 pm

My parents don't trust me to be on my own at all. They don't trust me to go on walks through the neighborhood or even to be in my backyard. Any advice on how to communicate to them that, I am responsible enough to be on my own outside my house. It's frustrating. It's not like I get lost or forget where I am. I'm almost an adult. I can go outside by myself. It's only gotten worse. Just because, I might struggle with some motor skills. Doesn't mean i'm completely incapable of being alone for 20 minutes. They didn't use to treat me this way. Anyone have any advice on how i can remedy this situation. I've tried communicating to them that i'm able to be alone.

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I am pieplup i have level 3 autism and a number of severe mental illnesses. I am rarely active on here anymore.
I run a discord for moderate-severely autistic people if anyone would like to join. You can also contact me on discord @Pieplup or by email at [email protected]

Fnord
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13 Jul 2020, 4:12 pm

Pieplup wrote:

Obviously, they have reason to believe that you being outside alone would somehow make you vulnerable or pose a threat to others. There is not much you can do as long as you live in their home. Once you graduate, get a job, and move out, then they will have to admit that you can survive on your own. Until then, be patient.

CubsBullsBears
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13 Jul 2020, 4:20 pm

Have you done anything lately that you think would cause your parents to not trust you?

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blazingstar
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13 Jul 2020, 4:21 pm

I agree with Fnord, except that some parents of autists can be overprotective. It is in their best interests and yours to learn some independence skills before you leave home.

One way that I have seen work with some parents, is to start small and build on small successes. Would they let you walk around the block? Would they let you walk on your own for five minutes? Do you have a cell phone that you can call them on if you do have a problem?

Would they let you have a walk once a week? Once per day? Ask them what seems reasonable to them. Show them you can work with them. Over time, if you have successful small walks, you can ask to have those walks extended.

Good luck.

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Pieplup
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13 Jul 2020, 4:38 pm

Fnord wrote:

Pieplup wrote:

I realize that. However i don't think they have any reason to disapprove of me being in my own backyard alone. That is not reasonable. However. If they didn't think I could be alone they wouldn't leave me alone in the house for extended periods of time. They don't treat my autistic brother like this either. I can understand why they'd be worried if i was out cruising the town by myself. But being alone in your backyard and being alone in general are very different things.

CubsBullsBears
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13 Jul 2020, 4:39 pm

blazingstar wrote:

I agree with Fnord, except that some parents of autists can be overprotective

This is true with people I know. Recently I went to an amusement park 2 hours away with a couple of friends on the spectrum and both of them had a parent drive them even though we’re all 19-21(I’m the only one of the 3 who drives, btw).

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Pieplup
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13 Jul 2020, 4:41 pm

blazingstar wrote:

They have no problem with me walking and I have taken walks before alone. I don't think i'm every going to get to a point where i'm ever capable of living fully alone without any support.
No, I don't have a cell phone but I don't think that's the problem here. They don't even approve of me being alone in the backyard for an extended period of time. The few times I ask to go for a walk alone they absolutely forbid it.

Pieplup
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13 Jul 2020, 4:42 pm

CubsBullsBears wrote:

Have you done anything lately that you think would cause your parents to not trust you?

No. It's not lately it's been going for the last few years. I don't understand why. and My brother is constantly doing things that would cause you not to trust him but they have no problem trusting him.

CubsBullsBears
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13 Jul 2020, 4:46 pm

Talk to them. Ask them about their worries and tell them your desires. You deserve clarity.

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Pieplup
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13 Jul 2020, 5:05 pm

CubsBullsBears wrote:

Talk to them. Ask them about their worries and tell them your desires. You deserve clarity.

I've tried talking to them about it. They don't trust me to wander out of eyesight for extended periods of time. It's getting worse with time not better. Like if were at a park they don't want me to wander out of eyesight. Unless i'm in the immediate vicinity.

CubsBullsBears
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13 Jul 2020, 5:20 pm

Dang. Sorry about that. Do you have a job? You could save up so that you can get out of there ASAP. In the meantime I would call some peer counseling line and talk to them about your situation. You have a phone of sorts, right?

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Pieplup
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13 Jul 2020, 5:25 pm

CubsBullsBears wrote:

No, Plus I don't think i could hold a job because burnout. Even without it I dont think i'm socially capable enough to pass an interview.

CubsBullsBears
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13 Jul 2020, 5:27 pm

I’m sure your local grocery store is always hiring baggers.

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Pieplup
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13 Jul 2020, 6:06 pm

CubsBullsBears wrote:

I’m sure your local grocery store is always hiring baggers.

I just moved out of state. Plus, I don't know if i'm ready to get a job anyway. As I'd still need a lot of assistance to get to the job ontime.

cyberdad
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13 Jul 2020, 6:23 pm

My 15 yr old walks to school by her self and is able to catch public transport, Since Covid she is not allowed to be out of our sight outside of schooltime.

Pieplup
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13 Jul 2020, 6:52 pm

cyberdad wrote:

My 15 yr old walks to school by her self and is able to catch public transport, Since Covid she is not allowed to be out of our sight outside of schooltime.

This was before covid.

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