Sitting in the Dark

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I like to sit in my room alone in the dark. I don’t really like the lights on.

I seem to be sensitive to sunlight, as looking up at clouds often makes me sneeze and I squint a lot to avoid my eyes hurting. But I still love sunlight, and I don't like the dark. I'm not scared of the dark, I just don't like the dark. And I could not sit in a dark room unless I'm going to sleep. I can't even sit in a dim-lit room without my pupils feeling like they're stretching.

I used to do this a child when I needed to “decompress”. I guess from social/sensory overload. I didn’t understand why my peers thought it was so weird.....

I like dim lighting more than full dark, but I also find it soothing. I only like bright light when doing something like painting where I need to be able to discern color well.

I knew a guy who had had some extreme changes when he was young. He sometimes liked to sit in the dark, but it really upset his wife to turn on a light and find him there. I do it a bit for the novelty, but seldom for long.

I do that when I'm exhausted enough, or just wanted to relax badly.
People thought I'm either lazy, trying to save energy or crazy. Because I have a habit of navigating in dim rooms.

Or that sometimes because closing my eyes doesn't rest my eyes.
It just strains it because it reflexively keeps opening when I force it to close down.


I've only recently found out that I might be photophobic.
I just neverminded what my eyes and my head does with light the whole time.

When I got my tinted lens, I found out the difference of how I normally see light is actually all over the place.

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I like darkness. I like sunlight more than I like artificial light.

I used to do the same thing, as apart of my rituals. Turn all the lights off and meditate in complete darkness in the centre of the room. I noticed that the more active the ritual is, the more vivid and clear dreams become.

The rituals were a vital way to keep my mind focused, while also letting go of everything.

I still like the dark and going for walks at night to see the moon.

When I was a child I used to like sitting inside my wardrobe. It was dark, cool and quiet in there and very soothing.