Can I be honest here?

Post Reply New Topic

If I call myself ret*d, but never anybody else, am I likely to upset anybody?
I'm not always very sensitive, but I try to be. I'm just not in the most positive state of mind, due to not feeling like I'm speaking the same language as anybody in my family or phone book, so I felt it was long overdue that I investigate whether I am on another spectrum, or if I'm just an as*hole.
I've been told since about 2003 that I'm probably aspergic but some shrinks just say I'm an anomoly, whatever that means.
In any case, I'll try to keep my mouth shut and just learn from the stuff I'm able to read on this site.
Thanks for having me.

I wouldn't call you "ret*d."

I certainly wouldn't call myself "ret*d" because I have some social difficulties.

Hi, thanks for your reply.
What I meant I suppose is some times when I make mistakes people attribute it to me probably being on the spectrum as a way of forgiving me for the times I'm tedious or obsessibve about mundane things which nobody else worries about. Sometimes I find that patronising to members of the community who are far more decent kinds of people than I am. After a while I've just come to think that I'm not suffering from Asperger's. I've just got poor priorities in life.
I think people close to me want me to be diagnosed this way so they don't have to feel guilty that they didn't get me some attention when I was a child and first exhibing behavioural difficulties.
I hope this makes better sense and thanks.
I've also had a look at the rules now and hope this one post can remain as my introduction, even if I never have permission to use this R-word again. I know that some territories consider it more of a loaded term than people in my experience do, so I wanted to get it out of the way rather than waste anybody's time.

"ret*d" is usually a playground insult, actually.

Probably 90% or more of the people here have been called "ret*d" or "ret*d"

It's an outdated term for a person with an intellectual disability. It was used in formal scientific settings even as recently as about the 1980s.

Interestingly, "idiot," "imbecile," and "moron" were, up to about the 1940s, scientific terms for various degrees of intellectual disability.

Yes. I would NEVER call someone the R word. Myself or others.

But if you're like me...a regular guy, with a regular job, who likes football, and porno, and books about war, but sometimes thats not enough to keep you interested, then...its perfectly ok to call yourself....

https://youtu.be/UrgpZ0fUixs

As far as I understand that bodged-together chaos known as the English language, the prefix re means to do something again and as for ret*d I am at a complete loss as to when I might have been tarded the first time or what tarded even is.

Its a French word.


To "ret*d" means "to slow, or delay" something.

No, you can't be honest here. It's a zero tolerance place. So if you want to get things off your chest, well...you can't. Your posts just get deleted. It doesn't make you an as*hole, but other members can make you feel like an as*hole. Then you feel guilty.

Don't worry, I'm not judging you - I understand how you're feeling. And you calling yourself a ret*d (you're probably not a ret*d) doesn't mean you're calling everyone else a ret*d. You're allowed to vent, as long as you're not attacking anyone personally, I don't see what's wrong with your thread (except that I doubt you're ret*d ).

I don't see anything "wrong" with your thread, either.

But don't get yourself caught in the rabbit hole of lack of confidence.

Thinking of yourself as a "ret*d" for too long might cause you to act more "ret*d."

This happened with me. With "ret*d" and with "being fat." My mother used to call me a "fat slob" constantly and I was called "ret*d" in school. Both caused me a great amount of lack of self-confidence. Recently, I looked at pictures of myself as a child----and I realized that I was only actually "fat" for a brief time when I was 13. And I only recently realized that I don't look like a "ret*d."

Which is useful information for those who might not already know.

(Potential "off on a tangent" alert)

In my case ....
... with both Dad and Grandad having been pilots for a season of their lives I became familiar with the word in the late 1960s in reference to advancing or retarding an aircraft's ignition/power, whatever, I now have forgotten exactly, but do want to remember that what exactly it refers to might vary between jet and piston engine aircraft.
Playing in Google just found,
And it has a French connection
https://aerocorner.com/blog/retard-meaning/

There are different test for Asperger's syndrome/Autism. Some are free and available on the internet. Then you can be officially tested and that might be a two day test by professionals.

I would suggest you take a free test to start with to give you an initial informal appraisal and then if you feel the desire to go further, you have a first step to know whether you are in the right ballpark.

Autism Spectrum Quotient (AQ)

This link provides you with several different types:

Aspie Tests

So my suggestion is try several of the test and see if you are on the right track.

Others on this website can probably point you in the right direction of the best ones to take.

No.

"Tarded" refers to the TARDIS. (Time And Relative Dimension In Space)
It means you have become a companion of The Doctor.
Being "RE-Tarded" means you have been reacquainted with him, such as Sarah Jane Smith.

A lot of autistic people initially had an inferiority complex, myself included, due to their poor understanding of interpersonal communication.
Lack of Theory of Mind has a lot to do with that, imo.

As a group, the autistic community is known for having an above-average intelligence quotient and a below-average emotional quotient, btw.

What happens is 3 things:

1: You reinforce your own internal perceived social value, which is a comforting thing to do as it avoids cognitive dissonance, the discomfort that would result from deliberately telling yourself you aren't ret*d whilst feeling ret*d. It's very difficult to do and trying too hard to do it will backfire as you are trying to force your mind to change rather than negotiate with it.

2: Other people, depending on the context, will either see you as casually self-deprecating and won't think much of it, or will see you as someone with a lack of self-esteem and possibly self-respect.

3: In seldom cases, people will get upset because using the word goes against some abstract sense of social cleanliness, its pretty much the same as any other disapproval of using curse words regardless of the context. The other reason they would get upset is that they suppose it indirectly projects the same judgement unto others who act or feel similar to how you do. They might fight for some ascribed collective dignity towards autistic people and be offended partially for others sake and partially for your sake. I think this way of thinking is misguided and is insensitive towards the conditions of the individual.

I would personally encourage you to be open and honest, and am personally not offended by you calling yourself that. I am disappointed in how you constrict yourself, but I accept your dialogue with yourself, It's understandable given the position that you are at, but I hope in the future you'll be ready to forfeit this judgement upon yourself, it will free you.

I like the word ret*d.
It is the perfect description of my mental processes.