Joined: 13 May 2019 Gender: Male Posts: 14,730 Location: .
18 Oct 2020, 6:44 pm
Apart from I get a partial shutdown experience before I go into a full shutdown, the shutdowns are very similar to this Youtube film. Go to about 2 minutes 35 seconds onwards. The lady talking and one does not know what is being said, and the blackening of my eyesight is almost spot on what happens to me when I go into a full shutdown! The main difference is that I also lose control of my limbs as my body becomes floppy and I end up on the floor paralysed. I also get a loud tinitus sound as my eyesight blackens, and the tinitus starts at a medium pitch and lowers in note as my eyesight blackens, and the blackening starts from the top down rather then me having a central bit I can see like this film shows. But I can't believe how close and accurate this film is with part of what I experience!
Apart from I get a partial shutdown experience before I go into a full shutdown, the shutdowns are very similar to this Youtube film. Go to about 2 minutes 35 seconds onwards. The lady talking and one does not know what is being said, and the blackening of my eyesight is almost spot on what happens to me when I go into a full shutdown! The main difference is that I also lose control of my limbs as my body becomes floppy and I end up on the floor paralysed. I also get a loud tinitus sound as my eyesight blackens, and the tinitus starts at a medium pitch and lowers in note as my eyesight blackens, and the blackening starts from the top down rather then me having a central bit I can see like this film shows. But I can't believe how close and accurate this film is with part of what I experience!
This is a good idea of the basic autism , I feel , but a bit more intense if am being stressed ... TY. For the video
It is soo accurate. The lady talking but can't make out what she is saying. The blackening of the eyesight... Is almost spot on.
yes that stuff about not being able to sort the talking ladies words , is. Pretty accurate , but there are other things that come into the dynamic , I think
Joined: 13 May 2019 Gender: Male Posts: 14,730 Location: .
19 Oct 2020, 4:21 am
I would be interested to know if other people on here who experiwnce shutdowns experience them the same ways in which I do. I was amazed to see this Youtube video that showed what I experience!
Joined: 29 Oct 2011 Gender: Female Posts: 12,621 Location: ᜆᜄᜎᜓᜄ᜔
19 Oct 2020, 5:01 am
Yes. More or less.
Except more chaotic and several faculties seem to shutdown, not just processing of hearing and sight...
Sight becomes sight without visual, hearing becomes hearing without anything to listen to, words may no longer exists, touch is just light and unknowable pressure, etc. It can be worse.
Main difference would be I can still navigate places with it because my sense of body and space (usually always seem to) strongly remain. I just happened to know how to get by with mostly only that and excel at using that particular sense to go around.
I'd know when I'm past my limits if I'm starting to feel like a marionette than a driver of my own body...
And that's how I compensate and what I have to adapt.
Joined: 13 May 2019 Gender: Male Posts: 14,730 Location: .
19 Oct 2020, 5:13 am
What is a marionette?
What is in the film is about a third of what I experience and I will be heading for the floor or on the ground by the time I am experiencing what I would see in the film. I don't know how someone can experience that without ones having lost ones ability to be able to use ones body, as my experience is that I have no control over my body by the time I get the blackening of the eyesight effect. (My body becomes like jelly!)
Joined: 29 Oct 2011 Gender: Female Posts: 12,621 Location: ᜆᜄᜎᜓᜄ᜔
19 Oct 2020, 5:37 am
Mountain Goat wrote:
What is a marionette?
... Like a puppet, controlled with strings.
And my 'strings' are... Whatever the bodily sensation 'against gravity' is called (not really proprioception or body sense, but something else and closer to vestibular sense AND compensating for it), that's paradoxically what made me preventing from making my body feel like becoming a jelly or all over the place.
By mostly remembering which is 'up and down' and elsewhere in a very painful and incomprehensible manner. And these may not be even an adequate description for it.
Joined: 13 May 2019 Gender: Male Posts: 14,730 Location: .
19 Oct 2020, 6:12 am
The hardest part for me in my life was to explain things and the biggest breakthrough of all was to find out that they are shutdowns and they are to do with autism as this has been a giant leap forward in understanding wat has been going on, as for most of my life until recently, I was unable to explain in ways to find out what it is and what was causing it, as a past doctor I saw in my teens was convinced it was allergy related so for many years I have gone off on various tangents assuming it had something to do with a mystery allergy. (I do have the odd allergy which added confusion into trying to find out what was going on).