Help me make a list

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I need to compile a list of things that can help me to lower my stress levels and prevent a meltdown on a road trip. It will involve traveling in a van (I'll have to sleep in it as well) The only place I'll 'have to myself' is my bed, which is tiny and cramped. I can't even sit in it. I can barely move in that bed. It's a struggle to turn over. It doesn't feel like my own space though because the van is all just one big room you know? I'd never voluntarily choose the bed to relax, because it's not a relaxing space. I have a curtain to hide my bed from the rest of the van but it still feels like I'm around everyone else and I can never relax.

My mum got me a tent once, but after I ran away from home a few times she banned me from using it. I'm not allowed to use the tent again, and I have to stay in the van unless I'm being supervised outside, so they can lock me in.

When I'm at home I go to my bedroom to relax. It's much better for me in there. I dread the road trip. I hate them every time I have to go on one and I've never had a positive experience in the van

edit: I forgot to mention that my bed is right next to the kitchen in the van. I'm not allowed to tell my mum and her partner to stop stirring tea, and I'm not allowed to tell them not to whisper, both of which are massive triggers for me and can cause me to have a meltdown. They just tell me to put on my headphones, despite the fact that they are aware they don't work.

I'm really sorry about your situation. I don't know that I can provide much help because you've been greatly limited by what you're allowed/able to do to cope.

The only thing I can think of (which may not work for you) is to try and counteract their noises with noises you can control, like playing videos on a laptop or phone. I know you have problems with sounds (laptop and phone speakers can be especially harsh) so this may not work for you.

It seems to me that your mom should be helping you make this list since she is the one who's put all these limitations on you. Has she offered any help?

I am not sure I can be of any help. Generally I would probably recommend noise cancelling headsets or headsets where you can listen to music which might soothe you. I would probably recommend a weighted blanket. I would probably recommend a sleep mask for covering your eyes when you sleep.

In your comment that you headsets don't work, are you saying that (1) the headsets are broken or (2) that they do not solve your problem getting adequate rest?

As for your comments "help me to lower my stress levels and prevent a meltdown on a road trip." I will give you the following advice. Stress is cumulative in nature. It builds and builds up in your body until your body can no longer store it and the stress overflows. One of the way it overflows is through panic attacks and meltdowns. Stress is chemical in nature. It is a physical thing. Under stress your body releases a chain of hormones and unless these chemicals are use up to counteract the stressor, they go into storage in your muscles and nervous system. These chemicals are primarily stored in 6 areas of your body. These are your core, your two arms, your two legs and your neck.

So how do you vent stress? It somewhat depends on where it is stored. For example if it is in your arms and legs then a certain type of exercise called called Maximal or Supramaximal exercise, interspersed with passive recovery intervals will vent the stress. So if on your road journey you come to a rest stop. Measure off 50 yards (around 50 meters). You can do this by taking 50 long steps since a normal adult male step is around a yard. Once you have measured off the distant, then run as fast as you can between these two points. Imagine there is a live tiger right behind you and it is very hungry and that you are running for your dear life. That is how fast you need to run. If you put on your running shoes, it should take around 6 seconds to run that distance. Then rest for about a minute and then run again. Do this about 10 times and you will have vented the stress energy locked away in your legs.

Now how do you vent the stress energy locked away in your neck. Well you need to scream at the top of your lungs. Now you might do this by howling at the moon like a wolf. Or you might do it the way I do it. II live in the rural countryside and my dog is a free-range dog. When it is mealtime and my dog is up and about; I call my dog very loudly.

R-o-c-k-y. Come here puppy. R-o-c-k-y.
R-o-c-k-y. Where are you puppy? R-o-c-k-y.
R-o-c-k-y. Come here puppy.

I yell so loud that I can hear my voice being echoed back to me from nearby hills and mountains. My voice carries about a mile. The call is so strong that it borders on a roar. It is a very good feeling. It gives me a sense of great strength, like I could split a mountain in two just with my voice alone. I feel strong to my core. It is a great stress reliever or normalizer. And it is socially acceptable in the countryside.

So if you are at a rest stop in the countryside, then call my dog, his name is Rocky. Just like I do. Do it several times and it should vent your stored stress energy in your neck. But two things, if my dog shows up then make sure you return him to me. He is a Golden Retriever but his coat is red in color and he looks more like an Irish Setter. And second explain to your parents that you are simple venting stress energy so that you will not have a meltdown. Otherwise they might think you are going crazy.

1. Get non-metallic implements for stirring tea.

^ If that happens tell them "no thank you" and immediately go to your parent or a more public area (aka with many people).


OP, do you feel that your mum is understanding of your autism and that genuinely wants to help you feel less stressed?
If not, do you have a trusted individual (like another family member, therapist, or school teacher) who you can talk to, that could advocate for you?