Does Asperger need to be a disorder ? Or you don't have it?

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Hello,

i have been talking with a counselor and she brought up the possibility of me having Asperger.
I did read and watch a lot about the topic when I was still studying psychology ( it was a special interest really) and after watching a lot of Videos I started wondering if I could myself be on the Autism Spektrum.
Then when we were discussing getting a diagnosis I took one of those Asperger tests (which I am familiar with )
I stated loudly my rationalization about my answers. The test contained questions like if I was fascinated with dates and numbers ( i am not) and if my hearing is really good ( i am not sensitive to sound and lights ). For the most part of the social aspects (reading between the lines, understanding people's perspective .. etc.) I already have developed in them so that I can say that I am not really bad at all of them and maybe even good at some(but still awkward).
So after doing the test, the counselor didn't think anymore that I need to see if I have it or not since one getting diagnosed means that you have a 'disorder'. ( My score was in the we can't tell if you have it or not range).

I am a bit upset since I wanted to know for sure and feel like I slipped the opportunity. At the same time, I feel selly going there and saying hey I am not suffering really and actually can read facial expressions (from manga maybe ?) and have learned how to understand the emotions and thoughts of people (not all people) and don't struggle with sounds and lights (which is what tortures most Autistics) I just may be struggling with executive function and people think that I am weird but I think I may be autistic.
It looks like in all the videos, people who got diagnosed were really suffering.
But I am wondering, isn't autism just how the brain works? does it really mean that your life must be harder than normal people? can't it just be as hard but in other ways, or you just don't care. ( I am asexual and my friends think that's a disorder and that I need to fix it but I don't care for example.)

Even when I was the girl in the class who didn't talk with anyone and if they tried to talk to me I would only talk about anime ( back there i didn't realize they didn't care, but now I do ), I wouldn't say I was suffering. I was happier than now. Even when I thought I was broken because everyone started to tell me that I am weird when I started interacting with people I was still normally happy, just upset about this thing, and accepted myself in the end.

I probably will give up on getting a definitive Answer for the Asperger thing, they will probably say that I have symptoms but not enough to warrant a diagnosis maybe I would have gotten one when I was younger, who knows.

You have autism or you don't, they say. You can't be a bit Autistic they say. But I feel like I am sitting on the line between being autistic and not, relating to bits of every side but not really being able to say that I am either.
But, well. I will deal with it I guess.

Thanks for reading and have a nice Autumn ( or whatever season you have now).

It is worth being tested anyway. One maybe somewhere in the middle.

One question I read somewhere that 60% of autistic people have meltdowns and 60% have shutdowns. Have you experienced any of these? (Not saying you are not or are on the spectrum if you do not experience these. If not sure what a shutsown is, take a look at the link on my signature at the bottom of my posts).
Do you have prosopragnosia which is faceblindness? Do you avoid direct eye contact? Lots of little things that are autistic traits though many can be shared with those who are not on the spectrum.

I was like you about 15 years ago when a counsellor suggested she thought I was on the autism spectrum. My concept of autism was a severe dissability based on the people who one sees on the TV news, so this site was a surprize. I am on a waiting list to be assessed. I thought I only had one trait when I joined this site. Now I know I have lots.

Have you watched a Youtube channel called "Ask An Autistic?" Is what I watched which made me realize that I need to be assessed.

Asperger's is defined as a disorder, so, yes, for someone to determine that you have Asperger's, that person has to consider you to be disordered. However, you don't have to view yourself as impaired or disordered.

Keep in mind that a doctor who evaluates you for Asperger's may notice issues you have even if you don't notice those issues. And some things that may not bother you (lack of social interest, for example) are considered disordered, so you can't totally rely on your own idea of a disorder. Psychologists determine what is a disorder.

I suggest you study autism a bit more, read some stuff, watch some videos about it, then decide whether to get an evaluation. Like another poster said, there is way more to sensory sensitivity than problems with lights and sounds. There is more to autistic traits in general than what you've mentioned. And your research may help you realize that you actually do have some problematic traits that need to be diagnosed.

I do not perceive Aspergers as being a disorder but rather a different brain structure. Everyone has strengths and weaknesses. In Aspergers these strengths and weaknesses tend to be a bit more extreme. Asperger's syndrome in general is manifest differently in males and females. Many, but not all, female Aspies tend to mask; mirror the actions of their peers. As a result many times a young Aspie male may be referred to as a "little professor"; whereas an Aspie female might be referred to as a "little psychologist". Therefore if you undergo testing for this condition, it is wise to pick a specialist that knows the difference.

Asperger's is primarily genetic. But it is a little more in my humble opinion. It is genetic plus something else. I view the something else as STRESS. Aspies are subjected to significantly more stress than the average person. And this stress can bring out problems.

Since you are studying psychology, I would recommend a great book. It is called "In An Unspoken Voice" by Peter A. Levine.

In the US, we use the DSM-5. Autism Spectrum Disorder is exactly that, a disorder. The criteria does state it must impact your life in a negative way:

In order to have an Autism diagnosis, the symptoms have to impair you and they have to have done so since early childhood. You also have to have a minimum number or the criteria in the diagnostic manual. There is something called BAP, Broad Autism Phenotype, that you might want to look into. BAP means that you have some strong symptoms of Autism but not enough to get an Autism diagnosis. They often look for this in parents of children who get diagnosed with Autism.

My perspective is that it is a disorder.

If you do not have a disorder, you are not autistic.

Thanks for sharing your opinions with me. The post in itself was a way to organize my thoughts. It looks like not all people share the same opinion on the matter and it was interesting to read them all.

About the possibility of ADHD, I do have a lot of traits but the core trait of it which is not being able to focus on a task that is not interesting is only there if it involves hearing what someone is saying. In University I was able to sit 10 hours and study. So I can't possibly have ADHD.

About the sensory stuff, I am sensitive to touch but it isn't like getting touched hurts ( on some weird days it hurts like sunburn though), and I thought finding tags annoying and not wearing scratchy clothes without wearing something with turtleneck under it was pretty normal. Turns out not everyone thinks that scratchy clothes are scratchy. But one can work around that, it isn't such a big deal. (Except from the feeling of the skin of my hand touching after using soap, ARGH!)

It becomes kind of a problem when I am with friends and come off as cold. I started asking my friends if they wanted hugs after learning that people need it emotionally and It turns out they really want it but didn't expect it from me. I thought that I can tolerate them well and can get used to them, however the more I do it the more I don't like it. So apparently there are many small quirks like these (flat facial expression, pragmatic way of talking, ... etc.) which make me relate to Autistic people.

About face blindness, I think I have a mild degree of it which puts me in embarrassing and confusing situations and I get funny stories to tell people afterwards. I think that it contributes in me needing time to try and socialize with people since at first they all look like potatoes to me. I did a test one time though and scored pretty high ( I recognized most people, but every person looked really different, different ethnicities, bright coloured hair ..etc.)

In conclusion I am not really sure if I should try and get evaluated or not. It looks to me that there's people who got diagnosed as children but are socially as good as I am. (Aspergers growth youtube channel for example ) so I am not sure if having Autism or not is clear cut like people make it seem. It probably depends on your definition of Autism.

I kind of like the suggestion of seeing myself in the Autistic phenotype. I just hope my life doesn't become so hard later on that I regret not taking the chance at an evaluation now since something like that can help when getting therapy for example. Maybe getting a good evaluation in itself is still worth it. I need to ask if it's the case that you still get a report even without getting a diagnosis. The important part is to understand myself better and not necessary the diagnosis in itself.

Cute avatar. But to answer your question yes it is a disorder that one can have at a very different degree. Sometimes poeple don't even realize their own problems and for this the reasons of their problems if it comes to socializing. E.g. once they are unaware of their RBF or unable to eye contact. But autism is a spectrum of many quite different and partial even opposite disorders. Once you call yourself autistic then it doesn't tells much about the way that you are and the problems that you have. Asperger's is a more special thing and you don't have to struggle with sensorical issues once it comes to this. But you may have problems with realizing the way way that others feel and with understandig indirectness and hints or with getting their emotions because of their body language and the tone of their voice aso.

_________________
I am as I am. Life has to be an adventure!

If you have done a basic test, which has produced a result of "not sure",
then best get in the professionals. When i say professionals, i mean a qualified and experienced clinical psychologist who specializes in neurological developmental disorders, ideally who specializes in Autism Spectrum Disorder.

There are a few around, and it is best to get a really in-depth evaluation from such a specialist than 100 evaluations from 100 lesser or completely inexperienced people.

Be really careful with support groups, no offense to us guys on the forum or anywhere else.
I have some experience with people who have worked in supporting roles for people with classic autism,
who have decided that because they have "supported" people with intellectual disabilities, that they are qualified
to diagnose. They are not.

So please continue to pursue the right channels and you will surely get the most professional result, rather than be told incorrect information by people who have no qualifications nor experience in the area.

The people on this forum will be able to point you in the right direction though.
Which i am sure most people will, from what i gather most people who i have encountered on this forum
have the best intentions at heart.

Good luck.

I would recommend to have an assessment done anyway.

Thank you all for your responses to the initial post above...Very insightful...My husband has not been officially diagnosed...And your comments on this thread have help me see the importance of having an official diagnosis...He is aware that he is different...He likes himself as he is...I like him, too...At times, however, he seems oblivious to my suffering as a direct result of some of his autistic traits...I suppose the better he understands himself, the better he would understand my legitimate complains about our marriage...Perhaps, an official diagnosis would grant us resources made available only to neuro-diverse marriages, like mine...Thank you...Now i have to find the opportune time to discuss such a sensitive topic with my beloved (Aspie) husband...