Asinine questions from NTs

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I'm sure many of you have received the following questions, which might as well be rhetorical... or not be dignified with a response... maybe you've got some humorous retorts you'd like to express on these

I'll follow each up with a humorous/witty reply...some of these are passive-aggressive or "cutting one's nose off to spite one's face", but often it's well-deserved...hehehe

1. "Have you ALWAYS been like this??"
You: "Maybe. Ask my other personality next time he's available."
OR: "Even if I was, why would it concern you / affect you? I haven't done anything illegal."

2. "How is it that you're so smart, yet you don't notice 'obvious' things? / signs from other people??"
"Well, it's a paradox, but I detect greater ambiguity from others because I stop to think instead of reacting impulsively. If somebody has to go to the bathroom really bad, then nobody truly knows what they're thinking by their face or posture."

3. "Are you just acting like this just to piss people off??"
YOU: "Not habitually, but once in a while, certain people give me a reason to act passive-aggressively (slight smirk)"

4. "Don't you care about what other people think about you?"
YOU: "Um, usually, but in your case I'll make an exception. Something tells me the feeling's mutual" (sort of paraphrasing Groucho Marx...)

5. "Are you seeing a psychiatrist?"
YOU: "Yeah, one time, when I asked him about to deal with ignorant people b/c they were driving me insane - and he was just as clueless as any John Doe". (You have to be somewhat narcissistic about this one, to show that you're above their petty stigmatizing comments.)

6. "Have you ever had a girlfriend?"
(Please, PLEASE don't say "why don't you ask your sister?")
YOU: "Um, I thought I did this one time, but then the cops told me otherwise, and I was faced with a restraining order." (give a psycho dead-eyed look)

7. "How can you be so ignorant sometimes?"
YOU: "I'm not ignorant - I just have high standards for things making sense."

8. (Related to #2 and #7) "For someone so smart about logic, why are you so stupid about people?" (Because, duh, people are not logical!)

9. "Have you just tried not being autistic?"

10. "Have you taken the cure?"

11. "Do you know Temple Grandin/Alex Plank/Bernie Fincklewitz?"

12. "Are you a genius or a r████d?"

13. "Why do aspies have to be so different?"

14. "Would you like to meet my other autistic friend?"

Wow Fnord, what a coincidence!! Out of your seven questions, five of them were closed-ended (Y or N), and two of them were open-ended - same with my seven

Great minds think alike...

Oh, and I'm quite sure they're all rhetorical. Surely, the hostile speaker doesn't care if you answer them as-is, because any direct answer would only assert our existence and deny their "right" to believe that spectrumites don't exist and it's all made up / in their head / etc....

This list of questions was fascinating. Neurotypicals have such a powerful and rigid system of social expectations.

I had an assignment in college to commit a social breach (disobey a social rule) and record the reactions I got. I asked people if I could film their answer to a random question. Sure, they’d say. Then I asked, “What can you not least the most?”

Most people looked confused and laughed, but some became hostile and wouldn’t talk to me again. Even after I explained the assignment.

Some people do not like it when another person behaves unexpectedly.

15. "Are you sure you are not just gay/pretending/ret*d/schizophrenic or just imagining you are autistic?"

16. "Do you play with yourself a lot? <*nudge*-*nudge*-*wink*-*wink*>". (Only when I think of you, sweetcheeks!)

17. "How does it feel to be autistic?" (How does it feel to be stupid?)

18. "Why are you autistic?" (Why are you stupid?)

19. "Will you fix my computer?" (Will you pay in cash?)

20. "Did you know you act a lot like my cat?" (Do you know you act like a jerk?)

21. <* anything said slowly in a LOUD voice *> (I am autistic, not deaf!)

Last edited by Fnord on 21 Oct 2020, 9:04 am, edited 2 times in total.

My answers to these...

15 - Ahhh... I think you're confusing this with mental illness - this is more like dyslexia, it's a cognitive style. People are accepting of dyslexia, and they've become more accepting of this...so, I think you have an antiquated attitude (be euphemistic, and shame them for being "behind the times".)

16 - You should be asking that to a guy who looks like Danny DeVito.

17. "And my basis for comparison would be...??"
OR: "Nobody suffers from autism - they suffer from other people." (Paraphrasing Dr. Tony Atwood, and Jean-Paul Sartre)

18. "That decision was made at a much higher pay grade than either one of us."

19. "Your INTERNAL one?? No, that's on you."

20. "I'd rather be Garfield than Odie."

22. "How did you learn to dress/feed yourself?"

23. "Did you ride the little bus to school?"

24. "Can I watch you stim?"

25. "Quick!  What is the final digit of pi?"

26. "Do you have any real friends?  By that, I mean people who are not imaginary..."

I'm assuming you only got these comments in school? Or in young adult life as well?

The thing is, you can only really give these responses safely when it's one on one and you're in a more public place with unbiased witnesses...if you're dealing with some loudmouth meathead bully (who sadly persist into young adult life) with his entourage around him, his minions will go "oooohhhh!!" and then it's "what did you say to me, (insult)???!" with his face a few inches from yours, and then... either dealing with doctors or lawyers

Never be afraid to be the first to resort to violence.

I know this goes against all those lessons about "Love conquers all", "A kind answer turns away wrath", and "Turn the other cheek", but if it is obvious that the bustards are there to hurt you, then make them hurt first.