Do you get selective mutism as an adult??? Help!! !

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Hey all,

So I've Just seen a documentary on Netflix
And they mentioned something called selective mutism. Seeing as I struggle with straight forward conversation with one person but as soon as more people turn up, even one person I physically can't speak unless it's really something that is of particular interest to me and every one around me is on my "what I like interest scale" personally I love to freestyle rap off the top of my head but go silent and or lose my concentration when someone else comes along and isn't of any real interest in what I like as mentioned above. My anxiety goes Psycho and uncontrollable and i for some reason just can't speak and or lose my focus because I'm aware they won't be in the slightest interested in what I'm doing and or my like. They just come into the conversation or whatever and immediately I have an inability to speak as I'm aware of the person I'm probably just going to annoy them. I'm struggling to even be comfortable in my own apartment. Does this happen to anyone else?? It's reallllllyyyy weird..! !! ! Advice please?

Much of the time I don't have anything to say, but I only have trouble forming words when exhausted from lack of sleep.

I used to get that often as a child. I didn't grow out of it completely, it has happened to me as an adult, but it's been a few years. It's not fun. For me, it's related to stress, being overwhelmed, just too much you know? If it was happening to me in a social type situation, I'd have to walk away, go find somewhere quiet to relax and get myself in check. Preferably I'd be alone. Ideally I'd go home.

But these days I try to take preventative measures vs reactive ones. I limit my social moments and outings and stay places I know and have some ability to predict who or what will be there. Less frequent for me means Im better equipped to handle out when I do go because I have that foundation of calm already in place. But I'm in a place of privilege here, I'm on disability so I can stay home the bulk of the time and I can control who I'm around or not. I know not everyone has that luxury. A lot of my mute times are from sensory overload not people or anxiety though. Other things I do might not be relevant, like wearing headphones to help muffle noise.

TLDR try making sure you're already in a calm place mentally before leaving the house and interacting with people. When you notice you're going mute, try to find a quiet place alone to decompress.

Both our daughters has SM. We were able to help them slowly master their anxieties such that conversation became less difficult for them. However, there are still some gaps when making the effort to notify someone about a situation seems not worth the effort and problems arise because something has not been mentioned.

If you can function conversationally with one person at a time or in your family, you are in pretty good shape. If you want or need to communicate with more than one person at a time, you might try Toastmasters which is a group for people to learn to be confident with public speaking.

Personally would rather not try to carry a discussion with people , I don’t know . Much less making orders for food in the store or exchanging money for goods .Even then unless am in my comfort zone of people I know or can expect decent behavior from . Then came covid , and the one Of a few placeS , that felt comfortable visiting closed up their immediate dining Areas . So much for abilities to engage my circle of people , I know . It takes a awe full lot for me to be verbal unless it’s a crises. Even then can be hard. Mostly the written word can be a bit easier . Although
Can be prone to written mistakes .

Selective mutism is an anxiety disorder. Nobody is able to talk once he is carefully listening for what happens around him. That's just what happens to you at this time. Your anxiety drives you to listen to all the voices and noises around you because you treat them as possibly dangerous to you. Once you are concentrating on them then you stop to care your opposites and what to tell to them.
- Learn to calm because there isn't any true danger and concentrate on the topic you need to talk about
- Tell your friends about your problems for getting help once they notice you need that
- Develop strategies how to deal with it, e.g. showing others with your hands that you aren't feeling well and need an out time or to to leave for fresh air
- Try to concentrate on the topic you need to talk about again and on what your opposites need to know
- Developing a strategy helps to deal with the situation and reduces axieties
- Try put yourself into such situations just for learning to deal with them and to stay relaxed
- Don't worry to much about it anymore and then you'll get over that.

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