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Danusaurus
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05 Dec 2020, 2:56 pm

So, have just moved house.

So I have most essential items for my place except for internet connection which is coming soon..
So last time i attempted this (solo) wasn't so bad as I had amenities near by etc..
However in short.. what have you found useful in occupying your time and finding making a new routine and stuff?
I have no routine whatsoever and have NFI where to start, like even unpacking things etc .. Just can't seem to get a start and I been in new place for 2 days and haven't done anything productive with finding a new home for everything, as in where to put it all and relying on my ability to setup things in a practical way etc seems daunting enough.
ugh.. question is how to make a new place homely and manageable. ideas? I feel so lost and am drinking myself excessively more than normal in an attempt to counteract stress and stuff. Alcohol isn't my best friend but it is my lover though. :( :| :mrgreen: Moving has ended up making me super depressed rather than having the opposite feeling. Anyone?? thanks.

Dani.



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05 Dec 2020, 3:11 pm

Uhmm. Little steps. Where are you at? First get things in the right rooms. Start to set up the furniature in the right places.

I understand being stuck because I have had it myself but with other things, where one just can't think how to take the first steps even though one knows what to do. I have had this after hitting autistic style burnout back in 2019 and it still comes back where I may take days or even weeks to do simple tasks where decisions have to be made. Other things I can do without thinking about it.

Plan simple steps on paper first in numerical order so one can tick each one from the list as it gets done.



Danusaurus
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05 Dec 2020, 4:13 pm

Mountain Goat wrote:
Uhmm. Little steps. Where are you at? First get things in the right rooms. Start to set up the furniature in the right places.

I understand being stuck because I have had it myself but with other things, where one just can't think how to take the first steps even though one knows what to do. I have had this after hitting autistic style burnout back in 2019 and it still comes back where I may take days or even weeks to do simple tasks where decisions have to be made. Other things I can do without thinking about it.

Plan simple steps on paper first in numerical order so one can tick each one from the list as it gets done.


Yeah sounds good. The whole initial thought of knowing moving was coming up have still not recovered from and this, like many things my brain deems complex can take me sometimes weeks or more to recover and I'm trying to gert things setup before my family come to drop by tomorrow and i don't feel the best lately but pretty confident it's combination of not much self care and drinking excessive but then again stress and uncertainty make me fatigued as hell and not sure the exact cause. But i'll your approach and hopefully i'll at least get something done, plus it's dang summertime.



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05 Dec 2020, 4:35 pm

Eating and sleeping are kind of important. Deploying enough stuff that you can do them is therefore important.

Every once in a while you will need to leave the place so clothes suitable for the season are useful. And being able to launder them. (Oh. When you go out other people will appreciate it if you also "launder" yourself! :eew: )

You'll probably have to start paying bills so you will need some controlled space where you can organize important mail and pay bills. When I married my bride moved in and the house became--from my standpoint--chaotic and, for awhile, your new place will be chaotic because you moved in. I setup a "desk" (actually a card table) in a secluded corner that was just for my paperwork and felt much better for doing it.

Once you get the Internet connection you will want to connect it to the appropriate devices, in their appropriate places.

After that, unpack stuff as you need it?


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Danusaurus
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05 Dec 2020, 5:17 pm

Double Retired wrote:
Eating and sleeping are kind of important. Deploying enough stuff that you can do them is therefore important.

Every once in a while you will need to leave the place so clothes suitable for the season are useful. And being able to launder them. (Oh. When you go out other people will appreciate it if you also "launder" yourself! :eew: )

You'll probably have to start paying bills so you will need some controlled space where you can organize important mail and pay bills. When I married my bride moved in and the house became--from my standpoint--chaotic and, for awhile, your new place will be chaotic because you moved in. I setup a "desk" (actually a card table) in a secluded corner that was just for my paperwork and felt much better for doing it.

Once you get the Internet connection you will want to connect it to the appropriate devices, in their appropriate places.

After that, unpack stuff as you need it?


Yeah i'll google handwashing stuff as I really don't have much clothes anymore from being homeless etc.
I will eventually get around to unpacking things as there's not much but it's just the prep work to getting things started. at the moment im just sitting on the floor with my laptop, i could use the couch i suppose and tv stand but i'll plan this out visually and see what i think looks best. least when you have a partner structure is easier, even if it's chaotic it'll be manageable plus least someone is happy with the layout.



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05 Dec 2020, 5:37 pm

Sounds like you'll also need to plan some purchases: clothes and clothes hangers come to mind.

Your profile says you're in Australia so the clothes and personal hygiene stuff might be a little more pressing since you actually can go out, right? At least a few casual shirts and pants might be a good idea. (I'm in the U.S. Here going out of the home isn't as good an idea. You might have heard what a "wonderful" job we've done with the pandemic here. :roll: yeah, that's sarcasm)


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05 Dec 2020, 5:54 pm

Be patient with yourself , things will find their places as you can associate paperwork spots , to be just paperwork spots , try to keep the separate from other stuff, this will be a start of organization , clean clothes separate spot from dirty , eventually they will feel more comfortable , if they have something to be in , a laundry bag , or clean clothes , could have a separate spot or drawer. And be folded , so they don’t get to wrinkled before you get to wear them.
Idea of a table may help organizing a lot . Or stuff from a thrift store to stack same types of papers with each other ..
Important ones that need attention or will need attention soon in a easy to get at spot . Or Easy to notice spot .
Eventually spots for computer stuff to get connected to , near the connection sockets , or cables to reach the connection spots , or extension cords . Put things out of your way in spots so you have room to move about your own space.


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Danusaurus
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05 Dec 2020, 6:07 pm

Jakki wrote:
Be patient with yourself , things will find their places as you can associate paperwork spots , to be just paperwork spots , try to keep the separate from other stuff, this will be a start of organization , clean clothes separate spot from dirty , eventually they will feel more comfortable , if they have something to be in , a laundry bag , or clean clothes , could have a separate spot or drawer. And be folded , so they don’t get to wrinkled before you get to wear them.
Idea of a table may help organizing a lot . Or stuff from a thrift store to stack same types of papers with each other ..
Important ones that need attention or will need attention soon in a easy to get at spot . Or Easy to notice spot .
Eventually spots for computer stuff to get connected to , near the connection sockets , or cables to reach the connection spots , or extension cords . Put things out of your way in spots so you have room to move about your own space.


Thank you. I will process the above but u did give me a good thought to buy a cheap washing machine instead of alcohol. as for the small items like connectors and stuff i will need to make an itemised list which i didn't do yesterday and forgot to buy dish soap and dish scourer .. i regret being such a black sheep and having no family around to help me do these things as they always just were their to help ( i have epic co-dependency issues )! So ashamed to admit it. but in time i will get support workers and stuff again to assist me in gaining the skills and confidence to do these things myself. I once had an awesome wife who used to put out my work clothes everyday on the end of the bed so i didn't even have to think of that! :(



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05 Dec 2020, 8:22 pm

Don't worry - imagine how the place will look when everything is arranged, and take it one step at a time, doing a little every day.

I moved to a new house in June. First thing I did was get fridge and washing machine connected - this is crucial for basic comfort!

Next I ordered new bed-frames for myself and my kids - because the old ones had fallen apart and we were lying on mattresses on the floor - and sleep is important

Next was unpacking the kitchen items and stocking up - because I love to cook and eat, and I don't do well on lots of takeaway food.

After that I just took one room at a time, starting with my bedroom so that I could get my clothes all put away nicely. (Perhaps I should have done that first because I spent two weeks at work in crinkled, un-ironed shirts - not the best look!) After that came the study because you can't do anything nowadays without having computer set up.

Eventually, after a month or two, I worked out how to plug the TV into the aerial (in my defence, it had a different socket to what I was used to). But 2 months without TV wasn't a drama.

Originally I had lots of ideas to repaint and renovate and stuff like that - none of which has got done. So the house is not exactly how I imagined it might be. But at least we are all unpacked and comfortable.



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05 Dec 2020, 10:31 pm

Finding my house and getting my gear here burnt me out. I needed some days to rest. I have four rooms, and they were paved with boxes. I made some scale drawings to try out furniture arrangements, and after a week, I made some quite crude book cases. Filling those got rid of some boxes, so there was more room to move, and in just a few more days, things were unpacked and arranged as close to their previous patterns as possible. This was something of a mistake, as it kept reminding me of the old place I hadn't wanted to leave.

After living here for a while, I had different priorities. I slowly moved things from their "class group" to where they were most often used. After some years, I adjusted some furniture by just a few inches and got significant benefits, like room for a waste basket where it is needed.



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06 Dec 2020, 2:04 am

When I want to start a new routine, I write down the steps. Sometimes I put the paper up on the fridge or on a wall so I can read it easily and be reminded of the new routine.

Then I don't start the new routine until the next day so that I have time to adjust. Sometimes I visualize myself doing the new routine and think about the time of day I want to do it.



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06 Dec 2020, 2:20 am

delay your rewards,
you want x, so you tell yourself (eg) "do the dishes" before x
best is a plan that's structuring parts of the day (around mealtimes)

personally, i'd also watch out for visual garbage, leaving packages out, or brands on the table (visual pollution) or that horrible (french) custom to put all meds on display all and every day, on (wtf) the centerpiece of the kitchen



Danusaurus
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06 Dec 2020, 2:46 am

starkid wrote:
When I want to start a new routine, I write down the steps. Sometimes I put the paper up on the fridge or on a wall so I can read it easily and be reminded of the new routine.

Then I don't start the new routine until the next day so that I have time to adjust. Sometimes I visualize myself doing the new routine and think about the time of day I want to do it.


yeah that's exactly what i do, aside from my usual daily schedule which isn't in effect yet at my new place.



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06 Dec 2020, 10:23 am

Danusaurus wrote:
I will process the above but u did give me a good thought to buy a cheap washing machine...
If there is a laundromat nearby and if you can tolerate going there for awhile then a washing machine is desirable but not urgent.

Remember: clothes come out of the washer wet so you'll either need a clothes dryer or a clothesline (and clothes pins, or maybe you'd call them clothes pegs?).


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Juliette
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06 Dec 2020, 9:10 pm

I’m considering a move next year, so might be in the same boat. Try not to pressure yourself into thinking you must have things in place by such and such a time. “Do” when you feel energised and feel able to tackle each room. As others mentioned, a list is good.

I have moved lots in both Aus and in other countries. I usually tackle the kitchen first, then the bedroom(which should be your haven). Then the loungeroom, etc. Think about putting up a pic in your bedroom and lounge, some art(a photo you’ve taken maybe and get it enlarged) to hang on your wall ... something that makes you smile or feel a sense of peace when you look at it. You could even write a simple motivational phrase on some paper and put it someplace to remind you ... eg “Sometimes Later Becomes Never. Do It Now” or “Believe ... Believe it can be done.” You must tell yourself “No Matter How Hard It Is, Or How Hard It Gets, I’m Going To Make It”.

Hope you’ll come to think of your new home as your safe haven.



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06 Dec 2020, 9:31 pm

Juliette wrote:
...to hang on your wall ... something that makes you smile or feel a sense of peace when you look at it....
OK. There is something that might vary from person to person.

I was happy with blank, slightly off-white walls. The windows had nice views (or, in my office, closed wooden blinds), switches and outlets, a thermostat, and an occasional itinerant spider. Visitors tended to dislike it.

There were some pictures--framed and on shelves with books (there were a lot of shelves like that).

When my non-autie bride moved in she disliked it. I've been fighting a rearguard action. But she is also a bibliophile so mainly there are even more bookshelves with even more shelves of books with sundry pictures mixed in.


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When diagnosed I bought champagne!
I finally knew why people were strange.