How common is it for aspies to talk loudly?

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catpiecakebutter
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03 Dec 2020, 10:03 pm

I speak too loudly sometimes and people at those times don't like the sound of my voice. I wonder how common is it for aspies to speak too loudly.



NeilM
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03 Dec 2020, 10:14 pm

I used to do so fairly often. Those around me had to say something like "There's no need to shout."


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CarlM
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03 Dec 2020, 10:34 pm

I think it is a minority of aspies. But why don't you do a poll and find out. I am usually disappointed by the number of responses we get to WP polls however.


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03 Dec 2020, 11:22 pm

Yes. Like Sgt. Schultz, I talk very loudly sometimes.


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03 Dec 2020, 11:33 pm

Never knew NTs had sensory issues like that where they get upset of you speaking "too loudly" (unless you shout at the top of your lungs).


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04 Dec 2020, 5:06 am

I do but I'm not sure if it is connected to my dyspraxia.



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04 Dec 2020, 5:13 am

Sometimes I do. Generally it's if and when I get worked up about something (positive or negative), then my volume increases.



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04 Dec 2020, 5:52 am

I have the opposite problem. Once, I even had trouble talking loudly enough for a microphone. I can also do handyman work very quietly. My AS mother did not like noise.



OkaySometimes
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04 Dec 2020, 7:23 am

Opposite here, too. I'm almost always too quiet. I think I'm speaking at a normal volume, but people can't hear me. This would even happen before social distancing and masks. Now, I feel I almost have to shout to be understood, but it seems that (to others) I'm still speaking at a fairly low volume. Maybe it's related to my sensory issues with sound?



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04 Dec 2020, 7:35 am

I'm pretty sure that some of my thank-yous to cashiers are actually inaubible, and now they are invisible, too. Must speak up.
There was one very loud-voiced boy who just didn't understand the problem until someone recorded a conversation he participated in, and played it back for him. Then he finally realized that he was noisy; it wasn't just being close to the source that made him sound loud to himself.



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05 Dec 2020, 12:54 am

I need to be reminded to talk quieter.


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05 Dec 2020, 11:06 am

I used to sing in choirs for many years so I'm pretty good at modulating my voice. I'm an night owl so I'm used to lowering my voice when others are sleeping. I think if I let it out I can be pretty loud. :wink:


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05 Dec 2020, 12:36 pm

Very common :). We are known to have issues with regulation, vocal (volume) control. Some of us can speak too softly(this was always my problem, either not talking at all, being mute, or being a mouse :lol:.) The only time I felt comfortable opening my voice up, was when singing in a choir or with others generally(Irish background).



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05 Dec 2020, 12:41 pm

I've been told so but I think it was one of those hierarchy games that NTs like to play.

People like telling others to shut up but consider 'shut up' rude. Have to be more subtle about it.


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05 Dec 2020, 1:22 pm

People tell me a lot that I speak too loudly. Its my natural voice.

Few years ago my councelor told me that, apart from speaking too loud, I also speak too fast. And he gave me an exercize to speak slowly and softly. I noticed that when I speak slowly and softly my muscles of my tongue get tired real fast, I can't say more than few sentences without needing a break. But when I speak loud and fast I can speak on and on and on for an hour without any break. Kind of reminds me of a gym when lifting weight slowly takes a lot more effort than just lifting it fast.

However, when I mentioned this to my mom, she told me that she has seen me speaking quiet and slow without having to put any effort. She says that if I am relaxed then I can do it naturally and the problem, from her point of view, is that I am often not relaxed. So then the instance of forcing myself to speak quiet would be like a double-tension: on the one hand I am tense which causes me to speak loud on the first place and, on the other hand, I am tensing up in order to force myself to speak quietly?

But in any case, thats my mom's perspective that I am always tense. I don't see it that way. To me it seems like I can be totally relaxed and still talk loud. I think the instances when I speak quiet is (a) if I am really tired and (b) if I am being forced to say something I don't want to (such as my mom reminds me to say hello, please and thank you and then points out to me how I say it too quietly when I say everything else too loudly). Speaking of being tired, my mom disagrees with me, she seems to think that if I don't have enough sleep thats when I speak too loud. I have no idea how that could be the case though, it seems like her observations are biased. The way I see it is that I get loud if I find the topic of what I am trying to say interesting and feel eager to say it.

By the way my mom also says I eat too fast and constantly tries to slow me down when I eat. She said that I am tense when I eat fast, and I told her no I am not tense its my natural way of eating; I get tense when she tells me to eat slow.

P.S. I go to university to a different state than where my mom lives. But right now, since university became distant due to COVID, I moved in with my mom, and thats why I have all those conflicts.



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05 Dec 2020, 2:16 pm

I still get told to "lower the volume" at times, it's usually when I am frustrated with something or re-telling a story of something that made me mad.


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