How to Deal with Intrusive People?

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One might think that an older guy would know by now, but I always seem to get the same problem which I have no answer for. I have Asperger's with all the stimming, comorbidities, & diseases a person collects as they age. I am not unfriendly, but neither do I need a lot of attention. I am a lone wolf type. Sometimes I meet people who view my isolation & my conditions as something they should be involved in. Sometimes I can be very firm about saying that is not wanted, back-off, go away, drop dead - you get the idea! Sometimes I get people who because they are crazymakers or are needy decide I do not want that. Does anyone know how to dismiss these people without going to war? I get intruded on in my few social media sites, I had one crazymaker decide she had the right to call the local hospital to see if I had been admitted because I was slow to answer an email? I have not responded to her most recent hit on YouTube - but I do not like her, at all. She is a busybody, a nuisance who cannot deal with her own issues, & certainly has no sense of boundary. My stance is to ignore her, it is all I can do. Any suggestions? Anyone got an idea that does not involve harming? I should add this person & others often live thousands of kilometres away.

I am an MBTI INTJ. I got my bride to give me space by emphasizing the "I" part of that to her; I need time apart to recharge.

If you don't have a known MBTI type begining with an "I", maybe just mention your Aspie or Autie status and say you're happiest being on the fringe where you can be partly involved?

Hmmm... I guess the common theme there is to not rely on citing your personal preference but rather find some external pseudo-authority that makes things sound more real to them.

Thanks, I don't know much about those personality types - do they have real credence? I have chosen to ignore her completely. I will not respond in any way.

Had a similar thing here the last couple years with a grey haired gal, ignoring her turned out to be the most practical thing to do.
Talking to her about it, even yelling at her, had no impact; several neighbors, the creative writers group, and two different churches, and me myself, all tried that.
Fortunately she moved away earlier this year.
Good riddance.

MBTI gets mixed reviews. Some (including me) like it, others call it pseudoscience. I think the important thing to remember about it is that it is describing psychological preferences, not absolutes, and describing them on a scale which reflects that some individuals will have stronger preferences than others. I think of it as an adjective that concisely gives a high-level description of some individual traits (like "tall" or "smart" or "conservative" and such). If you read too much into it or rely too much on it you might be better off with astrology.

I think MBTI was more popular back in the 90's, when it was sort of a "thing" in corporate America.

Independent of MBTI folk should understand the terms "introvert" and "extrovert". When challenged that you don't seem like an introvert it could be convenient to draw out the MBTI explanation that introvert vs. extrovert is not about how well you interact with other people but rather how tiring it is for you.

I was trained from a child to "be nice". In effect let others walk all over me and beg them for more. I got therapy when I was about 30 years old, and learned how to set healthy boundaries, how to say no, how to defend myself in healthy ways from aggression and pushy/demanding/bullying behavior from others. I am still a "people pleaser" and have had to learn to check myself from automatic compliance and people pleasing. But with practice I got much better at dealing with others. I simply had not been taught how to be healthily self assertive, how to say no, how to avoid being manipulated and intimidated.

I did not even know that was happening. I needed therapy to help me find new ways to behave and how to make healthy decisions. It saved my life and my sanity. You can find information on life about being self assertive, the book I used way back when, was called "when I say No I feel guilty". My therapist coach helped me work through it to learn the ideas it taught. If you have access to therapy or a "life coach" or other supporter, maybe learning new ways to defend yourself in these situations would help you too.

38 years after my therapy (nobody suspected I was autistic back then) I am still putting those skills my therapist taught me along with the use of that book to work almost daily. It was like the weight of the world lifting off my shoulders to know I had alternatives and choices when It came to dealing with folks like that, but I did not have the capability of learning or figuring it out on my own. I needed somebody to help me see my unhealthy patterns and choices and to explain to me the new ways I could deal with such situations. what a relief!

Setting boundaries can be difficult. There are people who are so sensitive that they make boundaries to exclude themselves. Others are so insensitive that armed guards cannot keep them away.

As a general rule you should start softly and only end up with a big stick.

I think my issue is rather how to deal with not being an intrusive person

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For your information, the 16 personality types are based on the well renowned Carl Jung's theories, who according to me was a genius in the study of human behavior...

As to your issues with intrusive people...You are better off ignoring them...