Sibling bullying of autistic children

Post Reply New Topic

Autistic children more likely to be involved in bullying – study

Yikes! I'm glad I didn't have siblings close to my age. I had one sister who was ten-and-a-half years older than me, more like an aunt than like a sister, and who moved out of the house when she was about nineteen.

I'm on the spectrum but I bullied my own brother (who's also on the spectrum) when I was a teenager. Well, when I had meltdowns I took my frustrations out on him, and I got jealous if my mum gave him more attention than me. Thankfully I grew out of it and I now feel guilty about it, but he's forgiven me because he knows I do love him, and I do.

But anyway, does the article apply to cousins as well? I wonder if some Aspies are bullied by their cousins. Fortunately growing up my cousins were like my mates (we were all around similar age), and they accepted me for who I was. When I got to adolescence my closest cousin's friends bullied me, and my cousin seemed to let them. But I think it was because I was unable to deal with the stupidity and cattiness of teenage girls. Also my cousin failed to find nicer girls, probably because she had rather low self-esteem.

Is this supposed to be news? It's in human nature to be hostile and on guard about those who are very different, and kids are less likely to know that the hostility should, according to social rules, be hidden, so of course autistic children, who are different, get targeted.

My sister never tried to bully me in ways that others would. She just knows how volatile I could get. I just am.
Didn't bullied her either though. Other than rants and driving her away -- I don't usually take things out on her, I'd rather be alone back then. Just away from anyone.
Almost never did any form of malicious harassment from one another.

Still, I barely ever played a role of an elder sibling to her. Still don't have this typical sibling relationship. Distant and yet familiar, just 'not' strained nor conflicting. She just cannot rely much on me whether I want it that way or not.

Pranks and practical jokes, yes. But something psychological and intentional -- seems we both have the same lack of intentions for different reasons.
As I had said in another thread, no one's pulling the 'autism card' in my family. No one ever called me out for my differences unless it's seriously wrong, which hadn't happened so far within the household.


And for all purposes and intention, she's the younger sibling -- and she's the needier one, and I would rather had it stay that way instead of the other way around.
Don't want any competition from her, at worst I want complete separation just like how I want towards anyone which includes my own sibling, not 'more' than 'anyone' nor her.

Gained Number Post Count (1).
Lose Time (n).

Lose more time here - Updates at least once a week.

I have had a life-long intense rivalry with this sibling, and it really wears down on both of us, but due to their deep knowledge of human interaction and being a neurotypical, I am at a social disadvantage.

I sometimes assume my sibling is an undiagnosed Sociopath, and their manipulative techniques are brutal. They match every last symptom, but they're high functioning enough that they don't harm anything. I am the total opposite of every trait my sibling has.

They have a cult-following of friends, followers, and use this all against me. I am socially isolated by choice, but in a way not having friends to back me up compared to them has been a major disadvantage in our fights. At times it's been me against hundreds of people, which really adds a whole new meaning to the word overwhelming.

I believe I lost out on my place as the firstborn because of my differences. I got better grades than my sister, but that was the only time I felt like the firstborn daughter. I deprived my sister of a normal older sibling. I believe, if I had been normal, maybe she would still be alive and we could have grown up and grown old together.

I hate my Asperger syndrome, if I have it, for this reason, among others. My entire potential as a human being was wasted.

My sister tried to control me for a few years when we were in our late teens and early 20s. I finally told her to stop abusing me.

Yes, I was pretty much bullied by my older brother from the day i was born.

Although, some of the bullying was very funny, and ironically, brought a lot of pleasure to all of us.
Both of us grew up with sharp wit due to his bullying.

The physically bullying did stop, when, at the age of 11 I started karate, and due to suffering from ASD.
It became my special focus, my obsession, which helped me to progress faster than normal.

Although caused me to be more of an outcast. Still, as i was also being bullied by the kids in the area that i live,
including psychologically bullied by a spoilt kid with ginger hair, who manipulated others around him using slander.

It was lucky that i started Karate, as the nasty kids would have likely tried to get me to top myself before i even had left school.

I am afraid, having ASD, makes us easy targets for the worse types of people on this planet, including those who may
portray themselves as hero's. That's the problem with life, seldom are people what their PR projects them to be, especially if their press is printed in the papers...

My younger sister bullies me by purposely trying to make me angry by touching me with her feet, mocking me (mimicking everything I say in a stupid voice), laughing at everything that I do or say, threatening me if I don't do her favors that she could easily do herself, yelling at me, swearing at me, hitting me, dismissing my feelings, blaming me for things I didn't do and purposely trying to make me stressed or anxious.

I was very blessed with the brother I have, and I thank G-d every day for him. He's 5 years older than me and has always been protective of me. I always feel safe when I'm with him, if I have a rough day, talking to him on the phone makes me feel at ease. I'm there for him to, when he's had a rough day at work or fighting with his wife etc.

When we were kids we did martial together, played video games etc. His friends all treated me like a little sister too. I actually enjoyed being with them more than my own few friends. I was lucky that even when I was bullied at school, I knew I had safe place to go home to, which I realize many do not.

This study makes me sad, family is supposed to be there for each other.

My older brother didn’t care for me at all.

He felt jealous of my presence.

He was jealous of the attention bestowed on me because of my autism.

He bullied me with no love behind it.

You mention cousins. When I was about 10 or 12 and my brother is three years younger we visited my aunty and uncle and my cousins. When they visited us they would play with our toys and we would play with them and when we were with them we would do the same. But this one day my cousins would not let us play with their toys or with them, and I do not know why.
we then drifted apart as whenever we visited them we just sat there doing nothing, and when they visited us I just did not want to know ans my brother also was like me in this respect. We drifted apart from then on.
About ten years later their parents died and my Dad died around the same time, and still to this day they keep their distance. Only my older cousin bothers with us and her son. Her son I do appreciate. He could be on the spectrum and I think he is also on the list to be assessed, though he is very good with people skills but lacking in other ways.

I still do not know why this that those two cousins that keep their distance are like this to this day. Yes I respect them and they seem to respect us, but we are not close, and when my Mum invites them up they never come. It is always a one way type of system where we put in the effort.

My cousins on the other side of the family were all welcoming and we got on well until one day one of them was in trouble and they wanted my Mum to lie to the police on a police witness statement which while she did not see anything she could not lie that something where she did not know the details had taken place.
The cousins wife has prevented the other cousins from having anything to do with us as she has told them they will never see their brother again unless they break all contact with us.

So I now have a very small extended family.

Children with autism are more likely to be bullied by their siblings, their schoolmates, and their parents, meaning time spent at home is no reprieve from victimization, whether or not their autism is already known.

Trust me ... I have been there ...

My brother and I used to often have moments while growing up as I was quiet and submissive and he was being just a few years younger, was always trying to compete with whatever I was trying to do. Often this was healthy competition and fun but sometimes it was not. He tried to rebel at school and be a tough guy while I was the complete opposite. My other brother is 18 years younger so he was kinda like a son to me! It was funny because when I took him to school his friends thought I was his father and assumed despite me being over 20 years younger, that I was married to my Mother! But my Dad was always in work so they would not have seen him much so it is understandable.
It is hillarious as at one time my cousin lived with us in his late teenage years to early 20's and the villagers assumed he was my Mums lover! It is wierd all the rumours that go around when one is living in a village but does not socialize to be part of it. It is why we moved to live outside the village and on our own because we were alway different.