Finding motivation to lose weight

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I have gained a lot of weight in the past years due to a combination of depression, eating disorders, sleep apnea, disinterest in exercise, and quarantine. I currently weigh around 300 lbs and often feel the stress all my excess weight puts on my body. I outgrew all my old clothes and have found some difficulty in finding clothes that fit me properly and have been wearing baggy pants that drag and don't stay on right. Despite all of this, I still haven't managed to find the motivation or discipline to either change my diet or exercise. I have a gym membership, but I rarely go there. Every time I tell myself I'm going to make a change I relapse within a week or less.

Sometimes, I have just re-defined myself, as in "I'm not a smoker" and had it stick. The most weight I've lost was just 40 lbs over a few years, with the last 20 from camping, but I'd never have gotten exercise if I had not deliberately built it into my daily life. A bicycle was my primary saviour, but anything that gets you moving and breathing hard will do.
As well as burning calories, it is good to build up the muscles that can burn them faster. Just getting down on the floor and back up can feel like too much effort. That's when it is a Really good idea to do it a few times a day, and you'll soon notice that it isn't so bad. That sort of thing can turn into a weekly progress chart that keeps you motivated.
There was one fellow who signed up for a gym at New Year's, but actually stayed with it, even though he didn't notice any change in his body. Then came spring, and he mowed the lawn in 45 minutes, with energy to spare. In the fall, it had taken him two hours, plus a lot of recovery time.