Trouble distinguishing "laughing with" vs. "laughing AT" you

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Has anyone here had the trouble distinguishing when folks are "laughing with" you, versus "laughing AT" you???
Based on miscellaneous anecdotal evidence, I kind of got the impression that this is fairly frequent among us...

The way I see it, there's two kinds of "laughing at":
1) those when you're minding your own business, and maybe some peers or co-workers or whatever make some veiled insulting remark which is likely based on past interactions... and
2) when it's more "in the moment", you did or said something that was considered asinine or not commanding self-respect or got carried away, perhaps with some impression of some TV character or something... and those people around you egg you on, try to get you to make a fool of yourself, or give some back-handed compliment or "damn you with faint praise".

I've come to realize the 1st kind is more insidious and hard to pin down at times, b/c there's no direct segue to it - it's based on an accumulation of peers observing your idiosyncrasies.
For those, provided you can pick up the sarcasm, it's best to say "ummm...okaaayyy..." with a facial expression and tone sort of like Ross from friends
Maybe ask "is...there anything you wanna add to that??" with a bit of dramatic hesitancy.

IF you're not readily sure whether it's sarcasm or sincere, perhaps say a dry "awww, gee thanks, you're too kind." with just a little sarcasm in your voice.

For the 2nd kind of "laughing at", where it's in the moment...I believe it's best to respond to subtle mockery (if detected) with "OK, you know what, I went a little too far there - I'd better dial it back." No matter how much they egg you on after, don't go for it (advice from Marc Segar's page, who's a prominent autism advice-giver - he died tragically early). Tell them if they pay you cash upfront, you'll do it, just to throw the sarcasm back in their face

Of course, when alcohol is involved, all bets are off - I found from my younger days experience that I'd be less aware of when people were mocking me if I was drunk, and I sense NTs have this issue to but not to the same degree. However, I also found that when NTs were drunk, they'd be less subtle in their mockery - it would be either black or white, they'd avoid it altogether or "let loose".

One last note, out of curiosity I googled "what mental condition does the Joker have" (i.e. the latest movie with Joaquin Phoenix), and they of course mentioned the TBI that caused him some kind of spontaneous uncontrollable laughing, but that he also had a mix of other disorders - one they mentioned is that he has an apparent inability to pick up on social cues, in the sense that he doesn't know when people are mocking him .

Wow. Yeah.
But I doubt that Arthur Fleck (Joker) actually had ASD/HFA. I think that "blindness" to others' mockery was due to his condition of delirium. He just seemed totally detached from reality, which is not so much the case for people with Aspergers - we're more grounded in concrete reality (TOO concrete) and far less criminally reckless. So I think he had a mix of schizophrenia, bipolar, psychopathy, brain injury trauma, but no ASD per se.

In my experience, I feel NTs have major trouble with distinguishing between friendly/playful/admiration laughs and someone laughing AT them.
I used to have a nervous habit of laughing when around people I was shy with, but it wasn't that I was laughing at them, but they thought I was. But even I can tell if someone is laughing AT me or not, and I have ASD and social anxiety.

I remember at my old job there was this really nice woman that worked there, and whenever she saw me she always laughed as she said hello - but I just knew that she wasn't laughing AT me, she was just laughing because she liked me and admired me. It was like a warm, friendly laugh.

Usually when people are laughing AT you they don't physically laugh. Laughing AT you can mean snickering amongst each other, whispering, staring, smirking, unfriendliness and passive aggressiveness. And usually if someone is laughing at you they don't do it when on their own, and if they do it's not so much a threat.

This is a problem for me.