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MidnightRose
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21 Mar 2021, 9:27 pm

I was going through some old papers from when I was in therapy today and found one that I thought was pretty useful. I used to do pretty much all of these all of the time and they are not healthy. Image



CockneyRebel
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21 Mar 2021, 10:34 pm

I tend to analyse everything that I do or see. I need to learn to relax and go with the flow.


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Dear_one
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22 Mar 2021, 6:53 am

I used to give people the benefit of the doubt too much. Now, I understand that people can be sincere and still wrong, and there are others for whom the benefit of the doubt is their main working capital.



magz
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22 Mar 2021, 7:18 am

I grew up in pretty much black and white thinking culture. Having the poems I wrote as a 10 years old dismissed because they were not as good as Szymborska's (Nobel Prize winner) poems :chin: Stuff like that, done to self and others as a local social norm.
It made me turn to Math as safe space - but not everyone likes Math and life decisions are not Math.


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22 Mar 2021, 7:57 am

I like it.

The chart I mean. It's something I would've like to get my hands on sooner -- and received too late. :lol: A decade or so too late.


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Fnord
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22 Mar 2021, 9:44 am

MidnightRose wrote:
I was going through some old papers from when I was in therapy today and found one that I thought was pretty useful. I used to do pretty much all of these all of the time and they are not healthy. Image
Hmm... I have to why do the majority of these behaviors seem to be expressed by people with the most problems.


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magz
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22 Mar 2021, 10:14 am

Fnord wrote:
Hmm... I have to why do the majority of these behaviors seem to be expressed by people with the most problems.

Maybe it has something to do with the fact that these patterns of thinking have been labeled "unhealthy"?


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22 Mar 2021, 10:21 am

magz wrote:
Fnord wrote:
Hmm... I have to wonder why do the majority of these behaviors seem to be expressed by people with the most problems.
Maybe it has something to do with the fact that these patterns of thinking have been labeled "unhealthy"?
So ... are you implying that unhealthy thinking patterns can lead to someone having personal problems?


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magz
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22 Mar 2021, 10:24 am

Fnord wrote:
magz wrote:
Fnord wrote:
Hmm... I have to wonder why do the majority of these behaviors seem to be expressed by people with the most problems.
Maybe it has something to do with the fact that these patterns of thinking have been labeled "unhealthy"?
So ... are you implying that unhealthy thinking patterns can lead to someone having personal problems?
Well, my personal experience indicates it might be so.
Obviously, external factors matter a lot, but they are easier to manage with healthy thinking, too.


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Fnord
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22 Mar 2021, 10:49 am

magz wrote:
Fnord wrote:
magz wrote:
Fnord wrote:
Hmm... I have to wonder why do the majority of these behaviors seem to be expressed by people with the most problems.
Maybe it has something to do with the fact that these patterns of thinking have been labeled "unhealthy"?
So ... are you implying that unhealthy thinking patterns can lead to someone having personal problems?
Well, my personal experience indicates it might be so.  Obviously, external factors matter a lot, but they are easier to manage with healthy thinking, too.
How very profound!  It is almost as if I have been hearing someone saying the very same thing over and over for the past 13 years through a social website!  Now, who could that "someone" have been?

Image


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22 Mar 2021, 12:56 pm

Fnord wrote:
MidnightRose wrote:
I was going through some old papers from when I was in therapy today and found one that I thought was pretty useful. I used to do pretty much all of these all of the time and they are not healthy. Image
Hmm... I have to why do the majority of these behaviors seem to be expressed by people with the most problems.


It is a coping mechanism, a tool learned, probably as a child, to cope with intolerable conditions.

Our minds scramble to make sense of the world, and in an abusive family, the world does not make sense. No wonder kids grow up with coping skills that don't work once they get out of the abuse.

Because we have staked so much of our identity on these coping mechanisms, it is very difficult to give them up, even for things more positive.

The people I see really floundering are the ones who can't even consider letting go of whatever unhealthy thinking style they have. And the more others show a way out, the more that floundering person kicks and screams to hang on.

I don't know what the solution is for others. I know that my life became better when I started casting these thoughts out. In fact, I now know I am in trouble when I see myself doing any of those. It is a trigger that I need to step back and re-evaluate.


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22 Mar 2021, 2:59 pm

That chart is cognitive psychology in a nutshell. For more help, get that book by David Burns, "Feeling Good." Same horse, different saddle.

There is disagreement whether being in a low mood leads one to think certain ways, or whether thinking in certain ways - often learned from the home environment or other exemplars - leads to low moods. The circular theory of depression states that these types of thinking patterns perpetuate depression, so it doesn't matter which came first, it just keeps going on forever. This model can explain why some people are extremely resistant to change, while others improve with a little therapy or an antidepressant. Low mood + thought distortions leads to a long, tortuous course.

I said depression, but it could also be anxiety.


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musique
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22 Mar 2021, 6:32 pm

CockneyRebel wrote:
I tend to analyse everything that I do or see. I need to learn to relax and go with the flow.

I find it difficult to just go with the flow. I'm not very aware of my feelings most of the time, especially when I'm raveled in some kind of social situation, so when I just go with the flow then, I might do something that has negative repercussions for me. This happened to me a lot when I was younger and it made my life very exhausting. It still happens sometimes today.

So for me, analysing is very helpful to "not get lost". Also I got quite good at it over the time. I do have problems with a lot of the OPs unhealthy thinking styles though. For me the ideal way to would be to analyse, but not to hypotize too much, to keep an open mind and not jump to conclusions.



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22 Mar 2021, 6:44 pm

Fnord wrote:
magz wrote:
Fnord wrote:
magz wrote:
Fnord wrote:
Hmm... I have to wonder why do the majority of these behaviors seem to be expressed by people with the most problems.
Maybe it has something to do with the fact that these patterns of thinking have been labeled "unhealthy"?
So ... are you implying that unhealthy thinking patterns can lead to someone having personal problems?
Well, my personal experience indicates it might be so.  Obviously, external factors matter a lot, but they are easier to manage with healthy thinking, too.
How very profound!  It is almost as if I have been hearing someone saying the very same thing over and over for the past 13 years through a social website!  Now, who could that "someone" have been?

Image


Would you like a cookie? :mrgreen:



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22 Mar 2021, 6:50 pm

funeralxempire wrote:
Fnord wrote:
magz wrote:
Fnord wrote:
magz wrote:
Fnord wrote:
Hmm... I have to wonder why do the majority of these behaviors seem to be expressed by people with the most problems.
Maybe it has something to do with the fact that these patterns of thinking have been labeled "unhealthy"?
So ... are you implying that unhealthy thinking patterns can lead to someone having personal problems?
Well, my personal experience indicates it might be so.  Obviously, external factors matter a lot, but they are easier to manage with healthy thinking, too.
How very profound!  It is almost as if I have been hearing someone saying the very same thing over and over for the past 13 years through a social website!  Now, who could that "someone" have been?

Image


Would you like a cookie? :mrgreen:
Yes, but it would not get past my firewall.  Thanks for asking!

:mrgreen:


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Dear_one
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22 Mar 2021, 6:52 pm

My firewall eats cookies for breakfast.