Best Ever Missed Opportunity?

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One of the key things for me about being an Aspie is that I tend to miss social cues, and only realise the subtext of what somebody was doing later. My favourite instant of this was at Essex University in 1991 when a girl sat opposite me in the library and ran her foot up my leg and into my crotch. In hindsight, it was the one and only time in my life where a complete stranger has made a sexual overture to me in public. Of course, bonehead that I am I assumed she was merely stretching and let the moment pass. It was only a few days later when I noticed the same girl making doe eyes at me that I realised what had happened that day... Not that I'm living in the past or anything, constantly replaying this one event.

Any other great missed opportunities out there? If only to make me feel better about all the wasted opportunities that have piled up in my life over the years.

OH, I have LOTS! Heck, recently I found that a girlfriend I had when I was younger(she and I kind of grew up together, and girl refered only to her gender and not any thing else). Anyway, I DO remember some time towards the end, around 9 or 10(She was a few months younger than I was), where she was playfully invading my space. She KNEW I hated it, etc.... My mother recently said she spoke with a person that said that she was probably just showing she liked me. She said girls tend to tease boys like that when they are young and like them. I probably never thought about that, but it makes sense. And you know, she looked kind of like emma watson did when they were younger.

I have other stories, but they make me sound even dumber.

Last edited by 2ukenkerl on 31 Jul 2007, 7:07 pm, edited 1 time in total.

you too can be a sperm bank, dumped and paying child support for 18 years.

maybe you were lucky! is the glass half full?

Well, I DO have standards! Actually, that is one place I am not willing to budge on much. I won't marry just to marry, etc...

Luckily, that means my chance of divorce, much less having a kid to support for 18 years, is far less. If I had to support a kid for 13 years or so, especially if he/she was nice and I got to frequently see him/her, I would be HAPPY! BESIDES, that would likely mean a marriage that was happy for 3years +!

Last edited by 2ukenkerl on 31 Jul 2007, 7:09 pm, edited 1 time in total.

yeah i think 3 years is about average.

Heh, we all have regretts about girls, mine was a high school crush i saw years later at the bar, i never could express myself to her, she totally hit on me their, and i did nothing, other then talk and order a few drinks, she wanted to come to my house, but i did not understand what was happening, now i know... i hope everything happens for a reason, and that someday that true love will come my way, hopefully for us all, if thats what we want...

Yeah, I had a few. Once in spanish class, this PRETTY girl wore a leotard or similar that really showed off her body, and she did a little jig. Probably everyone noticed I liked her. Another time, there was a girl that was ALSO pretty, and in a rich family, and a gymnist, and she spoke pretty candidly about some embarassing things. MAN, I could probably have been frank! I BLEW it. I once looked for her where she worked, because I was there. I didn't find her. 8-( It is funny how the MINOR things can affect you. Anyway, possibly because of AS, I haven't pushed hard down that area. Some RAPE people, and some just seem indifferent. It is a pity it couldn't just even out, so everyone seems NORMAL in that way. Ironically though, that would make females more secure and less suspicious, and would have improved my chances EVEN if *I* didn't change!

Biggest missed opportunity I remember was earlier this year. I moved to a nearby town to go to uni and live on campus. I was coming back from the shops when I met an ex girlfriend from highschool (it was a short-lived relationship: 2 weeks and I said and did pretty much nothing, hence why it ended). She was just in town over night before traveling back to a distant city. We chatted and she was very happy and exited to meet me. We ended the short conversation and went our separate ways.
...
Why God, why didn´t I invite her back to campus for the night? I didn´t even get her number! It was a pleasent conversation, nothing wrong with it but everyone else there knew immediately what I should have done. It took me about an hour to realise. Things like this have happened countless times. It´s always afterwards that I realise what had happened. Oh well.

As far as potentials, I think one of mine was at an anime con.

The guy seemed to be hitting on one of us, my friend or me. She pointed out later how wrong I was to assume it was her he was after, but anyways.

At the end of the evening, the guy kissed /me/. Being in total shock and not really ready for it, I was freaked out for the rest of the night and avoided him the next day.

If I hadn't been so terrified, it might have been fun :p

Long time ago, a REALLY long time ago, about 35 or 36 years ago? There was this girl who lived two houses down from me and I think she liked me. We all used to hang around a kids play area at the end of our street and one morning I walked up there and she was sitting on one of the swings. The swing next to her was bone dry but all the others were soaking wet.

As a 14-year old AS sufferer with the social skills of a baboon I had no option, I went and sat on the wall where it was nice and dry. So what if she was reasonably pretty? Who cares if her father was a millionaire with three cars parked on the driveway? At least my backside was dry.

Ed Almos

My first "date" ever - I think it was middle school. My friend and I were at a community center. A guy came up to us and asked if I wanted to "go out". I said something like, "it's raining, I like it better inside" and walked away. Only later did I figure out he didn't want to go OUTSIDE - he wanted to go on a date.

Ah, memories of middle school... The era scarred me for life.

In school I asked to sit down by this girl I liked with her girl friends she said something like this:
"If a girl likes a boy, and she thinks he likes her what should she do?"
I replied:
"She should ask him"
Wrong answer. She eventually got tired of waiting. Of course I'm over it. I regret mostly not having the experience more than anything else.

I recently looked her up online, not something I would usually do because I feel incredibly uncomfortable about my past but an old 'friend' (pre reciprocating days) was trying to get in contact with me because she is getting marred, I cut her off for no good reason along with most people. I don't do that sort of thing anymore, but I don't think I can bring myself to contact her back, partly because I can't explain my behaviour. Anyway as I was unavoidably looking back I figure I’d have a sneak peak see where some people ended up. The girl that I fancied is happily marred now, look like she has kids of her own in the picture on this networking site. I’m really happy for her. I don't think I want to contact her or others as I've still not moved on in my life, I'm a bit of a flunky.

WOW, that sounds about as stupid as some of the things I have done, and ANOTHER reason I believe I have AS. My social problems are NOT ONLY social with the inability to discern "non verbal language", but sometimes I take things VERY literally! USUALLY I JOKE at possible misunderstandings, but clearly understand fine. Part of my mind just seems to shut of in social areas or under stress.

BTW please realise that I am not calling YOU stupid, but merely saying that this whole problem sounds dumb, and we both have it.

HEY, one person told me when she got off work, and I missed THAT! BTW in defense of my gender! To "Go out" IS a popular term for date. It IS misleading, and I can see how you can make that mistake, but it is FAR less subtle than some things women do/say! BTW That woman WAS kind of pretty, and seemed nice, but was someone I didn't know.

Last edited by 2ukenkerl on 31 Jul 2007, 7:14 pm, edited 1 time in total.

That era scarred EVERYBODY for life.