Struggling with Impermanence

Post Reply New Topic

So, during my counseling session my counselor had said due to my nephews unexpected passing in 2019 it's caused me to struggle with impermanence. And i'm just wondering how people learn how to deal with it and accept impermanence?

I think I have issues with impermanence (after googling what it means). I sometimes don't always want things to change, and it was especially hard when I was a teenager because everything was changing around me; cousins were growing up and being out and about more with friends instead of hanging out with me, and getting boy/girlfriends and then I kept on hoping that they wouldn't get pregnant. Sometimes babies change everybody's lives. My cousin keeps on about having a baby with her boyfriend, and it keeps on secretly upsetting me. I don't know if it's jealousy or fear of impermanence or whatever, but I'm nervous whenever she texts me in case she's going to say that she's pregnant. I just can't imagine her being a parent. She's too free-spirited, and also has learning difficulties, and I'm not saying all people with learning difficulties are unfit to be parents but I feel that my cousin is.

That's the problem with democracy - you've got to let everyone be free to live their lives once one gets past the age of 18, and there's nothing you can do about it except just sit back and let a loved one wreck their life. Makes me wonder if living in a communist country would be more suited to me.

We live in a universe filled with constant change. In the larger scope of things this means we are all going to die. Most deal with this larger issue by not thinking about it. Those that do often find comfort in a religious faith.

Most people concern themselves with the problems associated with daily change. Because Asperger people have a more sensitive neurology, change or even the anticipation of change can be a source of greater anxiety than for neuro-typicals.

One way of coping is to develop an ability to strategize with alternative planning. For example the person who experiences a sudden power failure may have greater anxiety than the person who has prepared several places to store emergency flashlights.

I often feel like life is just trying to nail down as many things as possible so they can't change. It's futile of course.

In my mind, it would be the ultimate luxury to be able to afford to keep things how they were. I mean, if you had to move house for some reason, you'd leave your old house exactly how it was with all the stuff you had there and someone would keep it clean for you and everything so that if you ever wanted to visit, you could go back and be in that space for a little while.