Alternatives to AS your therapist insists on?

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We have a public health system and I cant afford private. I was referred for predictable depressive, mood disorder type complications of Aspergers. The problem is Aspergers is clinically significant for diagnosis and the people dealing with me are legally obliged to not refuse me treatment or give a lower standard of treatment due to a disability (by law). Their system is not set up to diagnose an adult with AS so they cant treat me properly but have to do something due to the illegality of saying 'your disability results in refusal to provide care and service of an appropriate standard'.

I had a psychiatrist for a year and a half and she told me at the first meeting I did not have AS but agreed to look into it at some vague unspecified future time. Only after persistence she told me she was not competent to diagnose AS. She has prevaricated between trying to distract, bully, fool, coerce and manipulate me into ignoring AS even though as a result of ignoring AS she is utterly unable to even arrive at a diagnosis. She finally tried to fob me off with 'you have aspergic traits' but refused to say which traits and although she has agreed to put it in writing more than once, this has never happened.

Last time I saw her she accused me of lying about the country my mother lived in by implication but wouldnt admit to the accusation. I was naturally upset (here she is unfairly accusing me of dishonesty while she is too dishonest to admit that is what she is doing...grrr) and I let her know that I found her accusation offensive. For some reason she became highly offended when I suggested maybe she had mistaken my case history for someone else's (she admitted to not having read it in some time). Apparently it is fine to tell me I mistook or lied about the country my mother lives in, but it is unacceptable for anyone to suggest she might have made an error regarding a case history of one patient among many.

My psychiatrist got changed apparently due to an internal reshuffling and I had my first session with him a week ago. He arrived and ran through Borderline Personality Disorder, clearly having decided before meeting me that this was the diagnosis he would arrive at. This is despite this condition never even been mentioned as a possibility by the earlier quack.

I'm actually rather frightened they are going to force this diagnosis on me because due to the clinical implications of Aspergers in diagnosis, they cannot make a diagnosis fit without the knowledge needed to recognise the implications of aspergers (for instance I recently discovered the sleep issues I have can be explained if framed in the context of over-stimulation rather than anxiety and or mood disorder).
I looked at the criteria (for Borderline Personality Disorder) when I got back and realised the extent to which the quack was twisting everything I said in order to make the diagnosis fit. I'm at a loss to know what to do. He also dismissed Aspergers out of hand when I raised the issue and when I asked what he based this determination (given the absence of any screening or even an interview technique appropriate to Aspergic communication issues), he said his 'experience' but refused to go into the issue there and then stating he'd talk about it next time.

When I complain that there is a communication issue he dismissed that (as did my previous quack) by telling me he thinks I'm articulate (then expects I'll trust his 'experience' in regards to AS). When I talked about stimming or motor-skill issues, he asked questions that seem to me intended not to investigate but to manipulate me into accepting his delusion.

I was so upset when I left that for days I was way over-stimulated, pacing and stimming non-stop and utterly unable to attend to my environment or complete simple tasks. He completely debilitated me with his interview process and bullying. I dont know how to defend myself against this unjust treatment but due to the legal implications of a diagnosis, I cant just let him chuck this label on me.

Flu-like symptoms. Hundreds, maybe thousands of diseases, from the esoteric to the obvious, have flu-like symptoms. Trying to figure out which ailment is which from "flu-like" symptoms is always going to be difficult. AS is in the same boat. Looking at the various aspects of AS, and taking into account the fact that very few aspies display all, or even the same set of symptoms, its not surprising that medical professionals have such difficulty diagnosing it. For every AS symptom there is a corresponding disorder that has the same symptom. Its quite possible that many of us with AS actually have just a long long string of other conditions that give the appearance of AS. Also, given the spectacularly broad variance between what one professional thinks AS is, and the next one, its not surprising that many fail to spot it.

I had one psychiatrist who declared that AS is mostly a learning disability a diagnosis was irrelevant for a 28yr old. He also failed to grasp the technicalities of the nature of obsession. (Mind you, he couldnt get my name right either.) Another doctor had a completely different take on it, and I've seen at least one post by an aspie in roughly my area whose psychiatrist declared that AS wasnt a learning disability at all. The medical establishment can't make its mind up what AS is. As an added bonus, many psychiatrists arent actually qualified to give AS diagnosis, and yet we are sent to them to decide if we should be sent to an AS specialist, whilst at the same time being told that AS isn't a psychiatric illness at all??? The whole system appears to be somewhat flawed, confused, and in need of some serious work.

As an added note, Im mildly amused by the depth of knowledge most of us seem to display about medical procedure, often more than the "professionals" themselves. After all, who is likely to know more about a subject? The doctor who did AS for a week about 5 years ago in med-school, or the person with the obsessive ability to learn a subject to the point of stupidity? LOL.

(and ROFL @ "shes a knob". That SO fits most of the "professionals" I've ever met. )

I got everything from "pathological shyness" to "depression" to "schizophrenia" (?!)

I don't see a therapist now, I refuse to submit myself to their limited diagnostic ability. If I wanted to poorly diagnose myself, I'd pick up the DSM and choose a disorder that more or less fits. Why pay?

Four psychos, two psychics, a professor and a multitude of social workers were completely oblivious to my autism (the whole "overly formal" speech thingy).

It was a light bulb moment when I told my current psychic I was autistic.... He was the closest though (I've been seeing him for over a year...), as he always assumed I had Asperger's disorder, but he neglected telling me for whatever reason.

I wasn't misdiagnosed, as they all picked the OCD up quickly enough; I was miss-diagnosed.

If he understood Asperger's, he would know that being alone isn't always a bad thing. Being alone a lot isn't enjoyable for an NT but it is for the Aspie.

For me, I don't always like to be alone, but I like to have my privacy and be alone when I WANT to be. My husband, who I think has AS too, will sit on the bed with his laptop and do his own thing and I sit at the desktop and do my own thing and we exchange words once in awhile, watch tv together once in awhile, play board games and such once in awhile... and when we need space, we give that to each other. It works out beautifully for us. My family is always telling me that I need to get out and make friends, but my husband is all I need. (I love my kids but they drive me crazy! LOL)

I don't know that I'd want to live in my home completely alone 24/7 with no husband, kids, room-mate, family... that would be TOO alone. For me anyways. I'd always want a room mate or family member to live under the same roof with me. And they'd need to leave me alone. LOL