Ever been judged by another autistic/aspie?

Post Reply New Topic

How did it feel?

I was judged by a few others. They were the very higher functioning ones. I would’ve thought they’d be more accepting because they have the same condition as me. It felt worse than being judged by a neurotypical. I think they already know I’m trying my very hardest to mask/act neurotypical.

The same as it would if an NT judges me. Aspies are entitled to judge too. We're all humans.

Sometimes, people are "judged" because of the problems of the "judger," not the "judgee."

If somebody wants to judge me, they better come up with evidence. Just saying I'm this and that doesn't cut it.

I admit I don't like being judged, and most people don't, but we all do it sometimes. Just best not to judge to people's faces. At least what I don't know can't hurt me.

I certainly have been judged harshly, but I don’t feel like I “fit in” or “belong” even with others on the autism spectrum, so it doesn’t feel any different to me. I learned pretty quickly that having the same diagnosis does not necessarily mean that we are all that similar or will understand each other any better. But I’m probably “moderate-functioning” instead of “high-functioning” despite my official diagnosis being Asperger’s (I was diagnosed before the functioning levels were really a thing and had no speech delay). Most of the people I know are “high-functioning,” and their worlds are entirely alien to me.

And as an added bonus, I also have social phobia, so I’m extremely self-conscious and always highly worried about people judging me

*Standard disclaimer, I know there is a lot of dispute about using “functioning levels” and do not claim to know where any lines should be drawn, but I can’t think of a better way to give a quick but adequate idea of how very different I am from most other autistic people I encounter.

*Also I fully agree with Joe90, judging is perfectly natural, it’s just usually best to keep negative judgments to oneself.

yes.
don't really know why
felt bad

That’s all really helpful so far. Appreciate it!

I’m still working on not letting any kind of judgment get to me. I’m always told “Stop caring what others think”. I try. Always tried. But is that actually bad advice for an aspie/autistic? I mean it’s good advice but I don’t know.

I haven't, as far as I know, met any aspies IRL.

On WP I feel like people are generally welcoming, although as a rule not really engaging with what I say. Looking around at other people here, I do find a lot of people can be judgmental towards each other, just as everywhere else online.

A personal theory concerning some on the "higher" end of the spectrum: they mask enough to "pass for normal", and this is valuable to them. When they encounter someone with supposedly the same disorder as them, but unable to mask and therefore exposing themselves in a socially negative way, the "higher" end people fear judgment will spill over on them. Could be one reason why they, for example, don't want to reveal their diagnosis in public. They might fear they're "one of them weirdos" rather than "passing for normal". Therefore these people judge other aspies considered "inferior" because deep down the "superior" ones are, themselves, very scared of being considered inferior among the NT crowd. Remember, masking is not their real self. It's just an act, and they're aware of that.

Or as Kraftie said:

Never met an aspie in real life.

And the autistics I've known in real life are either less verbally inclined, way more asocial than I do, too young to actually make a remark, or actually do not have a strong or even ever have concept of judging others at all.


In WP not that I know of. Or even remember.
At worst, I'd just be very confused.
It takes adjectives to judge, yes? It is one thing to apply it to myself, it is another if someone did.

Gained Number Post Count (1).
Lose Time (n).

Lose more time here - Updates at least once a week.

I've been judged by other autistics, and I honestly was way too judgy when I was younger. I understand other people more now though so I don't think I'm as judgmental. When I've been judged I do find it more frustrating than being judged by NTs.