as traits

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I thought i might as well stop being so guarded and tell you more about my possible AS traits and let you guys and gals be the judge of it until i see a psycriasist. I already know im suffering from anxiety and depression but i don't really know why. I thought for sure that my broken heart would be healed by now, its been almost a year since i told her i was in love with her. We were just friends but she was an extremly affectionate towards me, it really confused because i didn't really know why i was so attracted to her. I can't stop thinking about her and i just want the obessive thoguhts to stop, ive tried keeping myself busy with so many other things but in the end those hobbies or interest disappear and i start thinking of her again.

A lot of my soul searching to get a better understanding of you i am etc has come after a friend from high school that i lost touch with was killed in a car accident. I started to realize that i have a lot of friends, past and present but i don't really know a lot about them, i don't feel close to them and if somebody asked me to explain a friends personality i probably couldn't do it that well

Difficulty reading the social and emotional messages in the eyes: those with AS don't look at eyes often, and when they do, they can't read them.

It was about a year ago that i start to realize that when i talk to people one on one that my eyes tend to drift off side to side looking at other things as i talk to them. I know realize that there is only four emotional messages i can read but only one of the four has to do with eyes as the mouth part of a facial expression can be deciving. I can easily tell when someone is sad as tears come out of there eyes. the other three are happy, depressed and anger. those three come from a combination of looking at their mouths and hearing there tone of voices. There is one more that im slowly starting to learn and that is one someone is not interest what you have to say, this one doesn't come from personal experience so much but more from studying facial expressions of characters in the American version of The office when ever there boss Micheal Scott is saying something to them.

Making literal interpretation: Some AS individuals have trouble interpreting colloquialisms, sarcasm, and metaphors.

I don't know what colloquialisms are. Sarcasm has always been hard for me to understand or do. I try to be very scarstic but it is like people never seem to get it, they never laugh and it looks like they are taking me serisously and i usually end up telling them im being scarstic and they then just ingore me. Metaphors im not really sure if i understand them or not. I forget what the defintion of a metaphor is. i will be looking that up later if i remember to.
Being considered disrespectful and rude: prone to egocentric behavior, individuals with Asperger's miss cues and warning signs that this behavior is inappropriate.
Honesty and deception: children with Asperger's are often considered "too honest," and may even proclaim themselves to be "honest" or "frank" as a way of explaining their behavior. They have difficulty being deceptive, even at the expense of hurting someone's feelings.

Inadequate nonverbal communication: their facial expressions, hand gestures, and other forms of body language, are sometimes limited.

My facial expressions are pretty limited, as a kid i use to smile a lot but over the years it has turned to a frown. Im able to give out the odd smile at times. I can't think of any times when i use hand gestures except for maybe when having to give a presenation in school. I tend to cross my arms a lot or put my hands in my pockets and fiddle with my keys or change when in social situations. Thats about the best i can come up with so far about body language.

Becoming aware of making social errors: as children with Asperger's mature, and become aware of their inability to connect, their fear of making a social mistake, and their self-criticism when they do so, can lead to social phobia.

I having two women that i was starting to form close friendships tell me that they deserve to be treated better then this has sparked a social phobia and soul searching period. This happened when i was 25 though i think it may have started earlier on in childhood that im not competley aware of. Its just recently that i become aware of it.

Differences in speech: they display less speech intonation than neurotypical persons. Their speech may be perceived as "flat." However, those with AS also possess superficial fluency in day-to-day conversation.

does this mean tone of voice, if so i have a pretty monotone voice. on occasion it will seem happy or sad.

A sense of paranoia: because of their inability to connect, persons with Asperger's have trouble distinguishing the difference between the deliberate or accidental actions of others, which can in turn lead to a feeling of paranoia.

i would need this one explained to me better.

Managing conflict: being unable to understand other points of view can lead to inflexibility and an inability to negotiate conflict resolution. Once the conflict is resolved, remorse may not be evident.

Im no good at it, as i have a hard time understanding how the other person feels, i tend to stay away from those situations. This one time these guys i know were bugging this girl and making her cry because she wouldn't give it up to the one guy. the next day she came to talk to me at the arena i was at i just didn't know how to talk to her about it to help calm her down and comfort her.

Sense of humor: although jokes can be grasped at an intellectual level, the emotional worth of humor, in some Asperger individuals, is not appreciated. Smiles and laughter may appear unnatural with some Aspergers.

I love a sense of humor. im pretty good with smiles and laughing at jokes.
Awareness of hurting the feelings of others: some Aspergers exhibit a lack of empathy, which often leads to unintentionally offensive or insensitive behaviors.

Repairing someone's feelings: lacking intuition about the feelings of others, people with AS have little understanding of how to console someone or how to make them feel better.

See my comment, two comments ago about conflict

Recognizing signs of boredom: inability to understand other people's interests can lead AS persons to be inattentive to others. Conversely, people with AS often fail to notice when others are uninterested.

This is a hard one for me espacially in other guys. Girls are a little different of a story as they will turn there back on me and just walk away or talk to somebody else while im talking to them.

Introspection and self-consciousness: individuals with AS have difficulty understanding their own feelings or their impact on the feelings of other people.

Im starting to become a lot more self aware of this and make an effort to try and understand how things make me feel and how i make other people feel. It takes a lot of thinking and i usually figure it out long after the conversation is done.

Clothing and personal hygiene: people with AS tend to be less affected by peer pressure than others. As a result, they often do what is comfortable and are unconcerned about their impact on others.

I probably have this, i was never one to really give in to peer pressure except when being bullied into doing something because i just want them to stop. For the most part i do what makes me happy and comfortable.

Reciprocal love and grief: since people with AS have difficulty emotionally, their expressions of affection and grief are often short and weak.

I think im the opposite of this but im not to sure.


Lack of participation in chitchat: they are not generally interested in, and do not participate in idle chat and gossip.

I tried to but by the time i get the courage to say something they have already moved on to another topic and i usually make a connection about what there talking about with fav. tv shows such as the simpsons and family guy and end up telling them about that epsidoe when that has happened instead of an example from my own life.


Preference of routine: they prefer routine work, and are not able to cope well to changes, even small ones. Such disruptions from routine can cause stress and anxiety.

My work is pretty routine for the most part, im never in the same area as i travel alot for my job. Having different topograhpic features to deal with or when things that are mechaincal don't work for me such as chainsaws or quads can be pretty stressful as i don't really know what is wrong with them and i just want to get the job done but the tools i need to do that keep giving me problems. A couple of times i even threw my chainsaw, i even through another party cheifs once.

Coping with criticism: people with AS are compelled to correct mistakes, even when they are made by someone in a position of authority, such as a teacher. For this reason, they can be unwittingly offensive.

i don't think i do this

Formal mannerisms and etiquette: their etiquette is formal, even within the family. Their speech may be interlaced with "thank you" or "please" or "good evening" more than necessary. Some persons with AS may even insist that other members of their family follow this ritual.

not enough to be really present in my mind as to wether or not i do this. i don't insist on other family members to do it

Speed and quality of social processing: because they respond through reasoning and not intuition, AS individuals tend to process social information more slowly than the norm, leading to uncomfortable pauses or delays in response. This means that although the AS individual will tend to make a more reasoned and balanced understanding and/or decision, it can lead to the AS individual being told to use their 'common sense' to solve problems, a concept they cannot understand or use in the way a neurotypical person can.

Lately with my dad when talking to him on the phone i notice that there is uncomfortable pauses between the both of us.


Faithfulness towards family: people with AS are staunchly faithful to their spouses and/or immediate members of their family.

Family is very important

Exhaustion: as people with AS begin to understand theory of mind, they must make a deliberate effort to process social information. This often leads to mental exhaustion.

Yes this has happened to me, it only started recently(after having my heart broken)

Financial imprudence: although some people with AS can manage their own finances, in many cases linear thinking impedes their ability to make larger financial decisions, where they require the assistance of others.

Im somewhat okay, i always seem to be broke though. I have a lot of dvds, both movie and music dvds. i have lots of cds and music bought from itunes to show for it.



Well that is how i see or understand aspergers syndrome. I think i show some traits more then others. I would apprecaite your thoughts and critiscims on whether or not i have it.

thank you

Some of your reasoning, success, and some statements make me think you are reaching for, and really don't have AS.

maybe your right, i don't really understand those statements very well and don't see as much connections as i thought i did. something is really bothering me though, im 26 years old and have never had a girl friend. i am pretty lonely. My dad also told me that our family are perfectionsists? Is that tied into an aspie trait or is that something competley different?

i do notice though that sometimes i will be extremly depressed but other times i will be boucing off the walls then depressed again, does that fall under bipolar disorder or something else.

Now that I reread it, there was one thing where it looked like you were more successful, and the other stuff I guess I thought YOU wrote, but you got elsewhere. You copied the symptoms, and then placed your equivalent behaviour/etc... between them, Nope, it DOES sound like it could be AS.

I used to be a perfectionist. Unfortunately, I have to SETTLE with food, because otherwise I have to do everything myself. Sometimes I feel like throwing up when I see how people handle food.

With property, I sometimes replaced it with even a minor defect. With my work, it used to have to be PERFECT. I had what some call "analysis paralysis". My work is STILL good, but may have some way to go to be PERFECT.

I provided a program to people a few years ago because they wanted the bugs fixed. I decided to make my own version, and got stuck in the routine of making it perfect and never released it, to everyone's dismay.

Do you also feel a sense of 'unexplained' fear when you look at someone else's eyes? It is said that eye-contact can cause a "fight or flight" reaction in people with autism. As for not being able to tell much of what the person's feeling, yes, that's a very aspie trait.



A 'blunt effect', in other words not showing that much emotion through your face, is a symptom of Aspergers, but it is also a symptom of other disorders such as schizophrenia. I fiddle with small objects such as keys and coins when in social situations too, it's called stimming. This is an aspie trait.



In terms of prosody, we tend to speak in a slightly 'robotic' voice.



I would rephrase the above statement. The sense of paranoia that some aspies get is not due to their "inability to connect", but rather their tendency to interpret things literally. In identifying sarcasm, for example, we are constantly compensating for our deficits in nonverbal communication (hence the mental exhaustion) through thorough analysis of tone of voice and context. Sometimes these things fail, or we think they do, which can cause a feeling of paranoia: "Did he mean what I think he meant?" "What did he meant by that?"
Do you regulary feel unsure about what other people say to you? Like if what they've said is an insult or just a friendly joke?



This is due to a problem in connection with NTs in an NT way. They see our expressions of affection and grief as brief almost to the point of nonexistant. It doesn't mean that they aren't there, an Aspies feels these things just as well as an NT does. We just have a different way of dealing with it and showing it. Just as we aren't too good at reading their emotions, they're pretty useless at reading ours. Things are often misinterpreted. A family member might even think that you feel no affection for them when it couln't be more untrue.




Do you usually take the same route to work every day even if there are other routes? Do you get slightly upset if a piece of furniture is moved at your house?

I think you do show many aspie traits, it's quite possible you have Asperger's. You didn't mention a narrow interest though. Have you got one?

I really think that someone around here needs to make an entirely seperate "DO YOU THINK I HAVE AS?" forum.

i was sitting in a co workers office the other morning and we ended up having a staring contest were we had to look into each others eyes, he won within thirty seconds because i felt scared. Don't know why i really got scared.



I've been told many times by people that they are just bugging/joking around with me. I could never really tell the difference so i took it as an insult. i would never say anything i would just try and ingore them until they stopped.




As a kid when my grandpa died it bearly phased me, but when a friend from high school that i lost touch with and didn't know that well, i became depressed but i don't think i showed any grief.



I usually do take the same route to work, i will try a different route once or twice as i am bored of my old route but i end up taking the same route after that.

No i don't get upset if furniture is moved.

Im not sure if this is a narrow interest or not, it has to do with a girl who was always so affectionate towards me and i was in return and when she ended our friendship, I can't stop thinking about her and there have been times when i think so long and hard about her that i heard a quick static noise inside my head(similar to tv static) while i was in mid thought, the thought completely dissappeared and i was thinking of something completly different that wasn't releated to her. Is that what is meant by mental exhaustion? The obessive thoughts only started after she ended the friendship.

The one thing ive always seemed to talk about the most when in converstation one on one is comdey, I really enjoyed talking about it. As far as i can remember i would talk about it for the whole converstation. When ever having converstations with other people if there talking about certain situations i always seem to relate it somehow to two of my favourite cartoons simpsons and family guy. Ive been watching simpsons since grade 4(10 years old) to present.

Is this narrow interest something that has been with a person who has asperger's most of your life? Do these narrow interest tend to change through out life? Say from having a narrow interest in math then switching to a narrow interest in geology? for example.