AS and narcissism

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We tend to be self focussed. That is very different from a narcissists who has no self-reflection. It's almost like we have too much self-reflection.

Well put. I tend to think of it as self-absorbed rather than self-centered.

Idk I suspect sometimes I may come a across as a bit narcissistic. But I've always heard narcissistic people can just keep going with it and assuming they are correct and everyone else is wrong. But idk I always feel like I am wrong and others have better ideas and I just can't catch on all the time.


I guess I can get a bit overly upset over criticism, but it's not because I think they are totally wrong about me it is sometimes because they are right and it is just hard to hear it. Like idk I am rather insignificant so yeah it is probably true that I'd be more likely to submit than fight...but I hate it because facism in the U.S is a real risk, and so idk realistically I would not be able to fight it..but I don't want to be someone standing by while fascism happens but also what else could I do, idk I am too cowardly to actually stand up against fascism as the fascists are scary and I'd be more likely to run away from them than stand up to them.

So I figure all I can do is vote against fascism which is to vote democrat even if I don't entirely like the democrat who's running. But yeah if fascism takes hold I would hate it, but for sure I would not be confident I could really fight it.

Sounds like coping and self-serving propaganda to me. My dad is an aspie as well and severely narcissistic. I live with him as I am disabled, and it injures his self-esteem so much that he is viscerally repulsed by anything and everything I say. He can't even look me in the eyes because he would be face-to-face with the fact that he's not absolutely perfect. He acts like he's God. It used to make me very angry, but now I realize he's like this because he feels inadequate deep down. It's tough for him as well as us

Grandiose sense of self-importance
Nope I don't have this. In fact I have the opposite. I want to be valued just like the next person but I believe I don't deserve to be valued more than others just because I have Asperger's or ADHD.

Lives in a fantasy world that supports their delusions of grandeur
Nope, I'm open and honest about my lack of popularity and the fact that I don't party or "live it up".

Needs constant praise and admiration
I don't think I need constant praise and admiration, but the feeling of being included and liked does boost my ego, which is what most humans aim for.

Sense of entitlement
I don't have this. For example, I don't expect my boyfriend to treat me like a queen and get me the most expensive gifts. I also don't expect to be treated in any special way at work.

Exploits others without guilt or shame
No, no way do I have this. I hardly upset people, but when I do I spend the rest of my life feeling terribly guilty and bad for the person. Also I don't like anyone being upset even if it isn't my fault. I believe everyone has value and their feelings are as important to them as my feelings are to me.

Frequently demeans, intimidates, bullies, or belittles others
Bullying has never been in my nature. Ever.

So, nope, I am not a narcissist. Obviously everybody has these traits to a certain extent but not enough to be a narcissist. Just like everybody forgets things but doesn't mean we all have dementia.

I don't give a s**t about ego....life is for living

I'm not very social but am humanitarian, I don't to see any life form suffering

narrcissists are ego obsessed

they are boring

There was an Australian guy on Youtube that once differentiated this and said that someone with Aspergers would consider if they were narcissistic, but a narcissist would never consider it.

Someone with Aspergers and the ability to narrow focus (sometimes at the expense of peripheral focus) on self, a special interest, or something else can appear narcissistic.

Grandiose sense of self-importance
No, I freely admit I'm just an ordinary person with some strengths and weaknesses.
Lives in a fantasy world that supports their delusions of grandeur
No, the only time I'm in a fantasy world is when I'm taking in fiction or dreaming. With the former I avoid stories that sing the praises of alpha-males because I can't identify with them. And I don't remember dreaming of being a star. I do sometimes get a mild feeling that I'm a Beatle, but I know perfectly well I'm not. It just helps to temporarily give me a bit of confidence when I'm playing music.
Needs constant praise and admiration
No, praise and admiration embarrasses me or makes me suspicious, as a rule. It's nice when somebody pays me a compliment in an authentic way that makes me feel that they really mean it, but if I needed that, I'd be dead by now, because it doesn't happen much.
Sense of entitlement
I don't recall feeling entitled to anything, certainly not in the past few decades. In my way of seeing things, "deserve" doesn't exist. I can't quite let go of a feeling of expecting to be treated like an equal, but I don't think that's immodest.
Exploits others without guilt or shame
I'd hate to think I was exploiting anybody.
Frequently demeans, intimidates, bullies, or belittles others
I'd only do any of those things to a person who was being nasty, to defend myself or people I care about.

So, either I'm not a narcissist, or I hide it extremely well, even from myself.

I think an aspie who always thinks they are right and don't understand different perspectives and always get into arguments can come off as a narcissist. Plus they are sensitive to criticism. I dont think many aspies are like this to be honest. Instead they may be introverted about it where they don't express it. Like instead of getting into arguments, they just might think its not worth arguing with someone who is too stupid or closed minded to understand.

its bollocks

Sorry, but this is not a typical trait of ASD. Rather I see this behavior is more prevalent at NTs.

They don't want constructive critique. They only want to listen to people whom they agree with.

They don't want to argue for their positions, instead they cancel out just about anyone who don't "fit in" the social echo chamber.

This above is very neurotypical.

People with ASD might feel they're wrong or right, but for other reasons - like if they've read a scientific paper about something and they believe something to be true or false and someone tells them they don't believe in that particular scientific paper or any other scientific paper, people with ASD would most likely engage in a heated debate to defend the Scientic Paper.

The real narcissists are NTs.

I agree with this post, within the context & situation you are talking about.

Yep, I self reflect a lot & it is painful & I am Autistic.

I know a narcissist who seems more NT than Autistic and he is pretending to be Autistic basically.

NT's in general rarely cancel me, but I have been cancelled by loads & loads of Autistic folk, even though I have nothing in common with either group on a whole, despite being Autistic myself.

The problem is self reflection for them (a lot of Autistic folk) & empathy - for a lot of Autistic folk, particularly the narcissist Autistic folk. They don't know how harmful they are being, or how hurtful they are being to people with different opinions to them and instead only focus on their own damage in terms of identity that the other person provides, simply by existing. Their repsonse is to cancel you, murdering your existence, whilst wallowing in their own minimal damage to their selves, in comparison.

Sometimes you have an apex predator NT at the top of the Autistic food chain, manipulating everyone to absolve themselves of wrongdoing.

Also, if an Autistic knows they are right and lesser educated Autistics in that particular area/subject argue against them, they become like a 'Terminator', demonstrating the truth of their knowledge. But it is not to hurt feelings, but to simply reveal the science or truth of a matter.