i honestly cant deal with this

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i rock back and forth like crazy and it makes me feel good but the down side is that i get hurt..

Example:

the chair broke while i was rocking and i didnt know and my knees hit underneath the table and i flipped upside down backwards pulling the wooden table up onto me

my back rubs against the couch and i get rug burns on my back and scabs and it bleeds

i honestly..its just so hard to stop and im not sure if i even want to stop it makes me feel good
the repetitive movement it helps my thoughts move foward so im not stuck perceverating all the time

i look at the black scars along my spine and i cry because i honestly feel so ugly and that most of my friends at my boarding school dont know or even understand

i sometimes think why me? why did i end up like this? why is this what i do? and why cant i stop?...

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Always here to help and to receive help from my fellow friends! ~InterestingIsabella

I don't see how rocking breaks chairs. I mean do you lift the legs off the ground or bang your back against them? You can still rock without doing those things to the chair.

i'm a constant rocker but i've never really had problems like that.

Have you tried rocking while standing up? I like to do that. I just shift my weight from side to side and it feels really good. You can do it hard or soft fast or slow. But that might keep you from getting hurt. Just do it in a more open area where you have room and if you want to do it hard or fast spread your feet a little more to give you a stable platform.

Why do you think you are ugly?

Could you explain more about how exactly you are positioned when you're rocking? I'm not sure I understand, for instance how your spine is making contact with the couch?

I also have scarring along my spine, although not from rocking. I wouldn't say it makes you ugly.

How about buying yourself a rocking chair?

I jump.
if it hurts to rock,
jump.
stand up
and jump.
besides,
it is too hard
to sit in a chair
for very long.

I rock on our bed sometimes and it's very comfy.

I also agree about getting a rocking chair.

The only thing is that it's hard to rock violently, fast and hard, in a rocking chair. They are really made for gentle rocking.

Any stim that's causing you physical damage and scarring needs to be toned down.

Other people rock. I do it myself at times, and have never had physical damage to my body as a result.

This is the type of thing where they'll put kids into helmets because of them banging their head against a wall.

The person doing these things, these SELF-HARMING things, has to make the decision to NOT go that far.

This isn't a case of "You should have known better...it's your own fault". It's a case of "Now that you know, you've got to stop the self-harming end of things".

Just because something "feels good", if it's also causing damage it's NOT good, and I have to assume that with the physical damage comes pain, and that does NOT feel good.

The only solution here is to make the decision "NO, I'm not doing it any more." Considering the hold it seems to have, tho', it might be best to speak to a parent, doctor, or therapist for help in toning things down to a safe level.

Like Sethno said, you may need to get protective gear like a helmet and pads that you can wear.

I like gentle, rhythmic rocking.