I'm not interested in sharing my special interests

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This happens to me, and the thing is, I don't like to share my special interests except with my partner and my best friend (both autistic as well). I mean, I feel like my special interests are so intimate to me, so personal, that I don't want others to know about them. And this situation causes me a certain psychological break because everyone seems to affirm that autistic people infodump incessantly and without caring with whom, which does not apply in my case lol. I don't know if it has to do with the addition that, apart from being autistic, I'm extremely introverted too. I'm supposed to be a part of endless forums and groups where information about my special interests is shared, but I'm just not interested in being in groups or participating in forums. I always like to investigate on my own and alone. It's kinda cringey lmao but it kind of makes me feel like a fake autistic. -I'd like to add that groups overwhelm me a lot-.

So that's the issue. Does this happen to someone else?

While I don't really relate I don't think those two things suggest you're faking or whatever.

A strongly introverted autistic person might be perfectly happy keeping their special interests private, whereas a more extroverted one might be more prone to seeking social contact related to their interest (whether info-dumping, seeking out other interested people or whatever).

I relate completely.

I don't share interests nor do infodumps. Verbally, it's more like informing someone "I like X". And that is all.

If someone shares the same interests, I'll let them infodump and listen.
No serious output from me unless it's life and death involved -- why not act as if be the dumbest person in the room and learn from them.

Unless insisted multiple times, being clear that it's what someone asks, the idea of infodumping doesn't overwhelm me.

It's just never the first thing I'd do around anyone...
Except doing it (nonverbally performing) and decided to do it and focus in the open.


And I'm not even a true introvert.
My odd but active ways do not consists of sharing or even discussing my special interests.


So no, it doesn't make one less autistic nor fake.
It only means the autistic has their own boundaries around special interests, and their own way of personal prioritizing or preferences on how socialization may turn out.


Heck, there are autistics who might as well desire the same lack of impulse when it comes to socializing.

Unless you desire to have the same impulses of info dumping without care or control...

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I used to constantly bring up and go on about my interests here (and only here) all the time (I don’t know why, but I’ve become much more private about them again recently), in person only if someone else brings a topic up in a positive way (I also am extremely introverted and have severe social anxiety, communicating online is far less challenging for me than in person, though still isn’t easy). Mostly I do that when in full-on obsession mode, where almost every single thought I have throughout a day pertains in some way to my interest - if I talk at all, it’s going to be about the interest because I truly cannot think about anything else at the time (when I call my interests obsessions, I really mean it). I’m delighted when someone else shares one of my interests more because it makes me feel like a bit less of an outcast than because I want to talk about it.

On occasion I infodump, but much of the time I have a hard time trying to explain anything, no matter how well-versed I am on the topic. I’m much more prone to spending hours scouring the Internet for every trace of information I can find on something. The majority of what I do regarding my interests involves solely input, not output of any sort, and much of what I do in terms of output is writing privately to organize my thoughts, not sharing with anyone else.

I don’t think I’ve ever been an active member of more than three forums at a time, if even that. I used to post more here, but most of what I do on forums is just read (it took me years - yes, years - after joining to make my first post, and a year or so of reading stuff here to actually join). I’ve never been to an in-person group pertaining to my interests, only support groups and such (where I rarely say anything and don’t feel like I have much choice about attending).

we are not all alike! Do what is right for you. Each of us will be different in many ways.
I like it if I find others who have the same interests, I know some who are not interested in sharing, we are all not the same.
The idea that all autistic people are "the same" or that we all do certain things is not borne out by science or by the experiences of many in forums and discussions I have participated in.
We can also say the same for those who are not autistic, right?

I don't generally share my 'special interests' with other people irl as well. I will talk about music--that's pretty much a universal interest. Online it doesn't matter that much.

As an adult, I generally aim talk about my special interests only with people who are interested in the same things.

In childhood I was not so careful about this.

Your reluctance to share your special interests might be the wisest thing. It depends on what they are and what the other people are interested in, but if your interests are anything like mine, most people would neither understand nor be interested in them, even in specialist groups that are as close to the special interest as it gets. And being too candid about what you're doing might well cause people to think you strange or laugh at you.

In my case, I feel quite a strong urge to share what I'm up to with others, and in principle I'd appreciate help and feedback on how I might do things better. But in my experience, other people's suggestions tend to come over as awkward intrusions into my ways of doing things. I guess I don't manage to explain my work so well that they'd really understand exactly where I'm at, so they make suggestions based on incomplete knowledge of my project, and very often when I try carrying out their advice it just makes things worse, and I often end up wishing I'd never opened my mouth. People think differently to me.

In theory, if I could find somebody patient enough, who already had the right grounding in the subject, we might reach a point where they knew in depth what I was up to, but in practice I don't think I'll ever find such an animal. So I try to just tailor my comments about my experiences with my special interests to the listener, I try to just give them the bottom line, which isn't really sharing much, and they don't usually ask for more details. Special interests tend to be fairly unique to the individual concerned, and who wants to spend hours fathoming somebody else's convoluted obsession when they've got their own life to lead? Still, I feel rather like a Holmes without a Watson. It can be lonely and hard to have to work in a vacuum. I could be making thousands of mistakes that others could alert me to before I find out the hard way that I've wasted a lot of time. Every time I indulge in a special interest, part of my mind feels concerned about how much of my life I'm diverting into these lone-wolf activities at the expense of social experiences and social growth.

Special interests should be on a need to know basis. If somebody brings something up, that you know about, then it's relevant to say "yeah I'm into that too." etc.

I used to have obsessions that I would impulsively talk too much about with my friends at school, and it made them not enjoy my company any more.

So since then I have learnt not to talk about obsessions to friends any more. But I haven't had an obsession for years now anyway.

Yeah...I know what you mean.

I knew this woman who was obsessed with another woman. She was so obsessed that she was arrested once for harassing the other woman (though she only got a 6-month deferment, after which her case was sealed).

Frankly, I didn't enjoy listening to her talking about her obsession. It was just too crazy for me.

I dont really share my interests with people because they would probably seem boring to the other person. I will talk about them if the other person shares the same interests.