Does anyone self-harm during a meltdown?

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Qbeez999
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25 Mar 2022, 1:47 pm

I had a particularly bad episode where I felt completely overwhelmed and unable to leave the situation so I repeatedly punched my arm hard until I felt I'd got all of my feelings out. I later went to my room and silently cried.



HeroOfHyrule
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25 Mar 2022, 1:58 pm

I self-harm during meltdowns, especially when they're really intense ones. I've punched things so hard that I've hurt my hand/wrist, hit my head against things and given myself concussions, scratched myself, etc. It's embarrassing when it happens, but sometimes I can't control it.



funeralxempire
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25 Mar 2022, 2:11 pm

^^ Umm, basically what he said, except I haven't really hurt my wrists before but I've busted my hands open pretty badly. I've put my foot through chicken wire window and needed several stitches. I punched a project I made in auto shop class hard enough to break welds on it. One of the more common causes of meltdowns when I was in high school was bullying/harassment and often those would lead to blackout rages where I was perfectly fine with the risk of injury although by about grade 11 that ceased to be a likely outcome.

I've gotten very lucky too, when I was 15 I put my hand through a wall four times (first two passed through the front and back drywall). If I was an inch to the left on any of the four I would have busted my hand on a stud.

I've knocked myself out banging my head while dealing with a sinus infection. Self-harm is more likely if there isn't a direct instigator that can be targeted. If there's an external provocateur that can be reached I'm more likely to just get red mist.


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Magicklore
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25 Mar 2022, 2:33 pm

Not as often anymore. I'd pull my hair, punch my leg, burn, or cut myself. As unhealthy as it is, the pain is very grounding and almost immediately pulls me out of a meltdown. I've learned other coping skills since then and have dropped all of them except punching which only happens once every few months



Joe90
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25 Mar 2022, 4:52 pm

Before I went on antidepressants I used to hit myself in the head/face during a meltdown (or in my case they were outbursts), but it was due to being really frustrated with myself so I was punishing myself.

My NT mum used to hit herself too when she failed at something and she was feeling down at the time, which I think was where I'd picked it up from, as I never done this as a child.


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25 Mar 2022, 6:32 pm

I've had a black eye for a couple of weeks now. :lol: A couple of meltdowns there.

I have enough cognition during them to control the amount of force used, so I only use enough to shift the pain away, as I don't particularly want to go blind, break bones and/or worsen any brain stuff I may have. Yeah, I'll also walk away to isolation and cry too, often from the event that triggered it.



kitesandtrainsandcats
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25 Mar 2022, 9:57 pm

It has happened a couple times.

HeroOfHyrule wrote:
It's embarrassing when it happens, but sometimes I can't control it.

Yep.


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26 Mar 2022, 12:25 pm

I usually stamp my feet during a meltdown also i can lash out like hit people and usually when this happens someones got to hold my arms to my chest until i calm down

sometimes i hit my arms on things like the table then one time i broke my arm

luckily my husband understands and he has a best friend who understands too


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Spunge42
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26 Mar 2022, 9:59 pm

I generally have shutdowns and not meltdowns. But when I'm in a sensory overload and I feel like I'm about the shutdown pain sometimes is the only thing that will stop it from happening. Pain seems to override all the other senses rushing in.

So yes. I used to dig my nails into my arm or leg and grind my knuckles on something hard sometimes till it bled. Shutting down in public terrifies me because i cant react to what happens to me or protect myself. So I do whatever it takes to stop it long enough to get somewhere safe.


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