Coping with "air fresheners"

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Does anyone have any advice on how to deal with "air fresheners"?

I live with my mother. She put one of those awful "air fresheners" in the dining room last year which forced me to always eat up here at my desk so that I could breathe. That has now disappeared, but now she has put one in the bathroom, and I can't go to the toilet without gagging. I managed to deal with it a bit by wrapping a scarf around my face as a makeshift mask. That's probably fine for odd occasions, but I'm not sure I can manage it all the time. And I can hardly wear a mask/respirator when I go for a bath/shower.

Any tips?

They're actually air polluters, not fresheners.
Does your mum know how much they bother you?
If rooms really need to be freshened, perhaps you could ask her to use some bicarbonate of soda in a little dish instead.

No advice, just commiseration. Air fresheners are awful. Our new (used) car came with one after we'd said we were sensitive to smells. I was so mad!

Probably.

You might want to try "Nilodor." You put one or two drops in a room, and it anaesthetises your nose.

I am sensitive to some smells and not to others. Different people have different sensitivities.

So there is a dual problem here. Your mom may be sensitive to a smell but you do not smell it. She may be trying to drive the smell away, which in turn generates a smell that you are sensitive to.

Now here is the first question that you need to find out. What is causing your mom to feel the smell is bad? Where is it coming from? Are you generating that smell?

I have seen this problem before and in general the problem begins with me. I like to take baths but not that often. Once a week is fine. Once a month is even better. But unfortunately most people do not like the way I smell. So as a result I force myself to take baths more often, maybe once every couple days.

Have you complained to her about the air fresheners?

Have you tried to help her figure out alternate ways of dealing with whatever odors are bothering her, to which she is responding by using the air fresheners?

I agree air fresheners are pretty horrible things, so I guess either you get away from her or you try to negotiate some kind of compromise. If she's the type to listen to reason, you might try arguing on health and safety grounds. Opinions range from "small amounts are harmless" to "they're a strong and avoidable risk to your health." To my mind, the logic is that there's no great need to regularly use something that the industry churns out, and you can't really trust the free market to keep you safe, especially if they're using unnatural chemicals. You might also mention that you have an aversion to them, and liken it to a strong dislike of certain foods, something that isn't an attitude, it comes to us unbidden.

If you have less trouble with natural fragrant gases, there might be an acceptable substitute out there, such as crushing a few lavender flowers. They used to sell an air filter that removed stinks quite well, but it's a long time since I saw one that was unscented. To my mind, if they have to spray scent around, it's a sign that they haven't managed to remove the original bad odour in the first place.

There are some odd dynamics here, and not a lot of communication. It might be worth getting some old, scentless air fresheners to replace the new ones right away.
Or, if there are scents you are OK with, try applying those to forestall those you don't.

There is no problematic smell in the bathroom. I installed a powerful extractor fan a few years ago, so if you maage to make a smell when you go to the toilet, you can just put the fan on for a few minutes and it goes away.

I found an FFP1 respirator which works so I can use that when I go to the toilet. I start to get panic attacks when using respirators, but its better than nothing.

As for showers, I've just been having one when I go to the gym.

OK, so its now over a month since I posted this topic. The "air freshener" is still there, but is not as bad, so I think the worst of it is over. I still have to pull my shirt up over my nose when I go to the toilet, but I can just about manage a shower, as the smell is not that noticeable when the shower is running.

Now I just dread that there will be a new one in a months time when this one has run out.

The big issue here isn't the air freshener but the lack of communication between the people involved.

Would your mom use some sprays? At least it's not always strong and would dissipate. I admit that I like to scent everything I use, but I have my own space and don't pollute public spaces. I gave my family members perfume sprays to use in their bathrooms, because I'm horribly sensitive to their poop smells. Those sprays helped a lot. The secret is probably choosing a more expensive, nice smelling spray that everyone can tolerate.