An epiphany

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When I was 20 years old, I wanted to go to Beauty School. To do so, I had to have my high school transcript. When I went to get it, the person that was waiting on me explained to me that about 5 years after graduation they DESTROY all your personal school records, except for your transcript. Actually it seems like he said they keep something else too but I can't remember what that was. Anyway, he asked if I wanted all my school records and of course I said yes.

He gave me the originals of my photo pages (little tiny pics of me glued onto papers from every school year since Kindergarten!) and then for some reason he just made copies of the rest of the stuff instead of giving me the originals. One of the copies he gave me was something like a psychological profile that the teachers did. I read things like "Tammy is a follower, not a leader.", "Tammy's mother is too permissive with Tammy.", "Tammy is a dreamer and won't pay attention." etc. (Tammy is not my real name... I'm just protecting my privacy) The worst thing that was said about me came from my 2nd grade teacher who said about me: "An odd combination of little girl and little old lady." All these years that statement has bothered me because I've had NO idea what she could have meant by that!

A light bulb went off in my head last night... what if she was describing me as an Aspie. This was about 1967 so of course they didn't have AS dx back then... do you suppose that maybe she meant that my speech was advanced for my age? Or maybe I was creepily wise for my age? Come to think of it, my mom has told me many times that I'm very wise, even back when I was a little girl. (You know moms have their bragging rights, even if it's not true. lol)

What else could she have meant by "An odd combination of little girl and little old lady." ??? I'll never know for sure but I figure that maybe even if she didn't know anything about Autism or Asperger's, she saw that I was not NT. I remember that teacher always looking at me strangely, as if I was some weird freak of a child. I was very well behaved by the way. All my life I've been told that I'm "eccentric, weird, odd, strange, and unique".

P.S. I ended up not following through with going to Beauty School... but I'm glad it worked out that I got copies of my records.

If I were you, I'd write a report on the teacher's personality and mail it to her.

"Too NT and shallow, will never be different from the herd or unique in any way, a mixture of little teacher and little old lady, has the strange belief that she's apt to describe others objectively, etc."

I think it's time we stopped defining ourselves by the definitions of us given by clueless, insightless NTs.

Chat brat,

People have said the same thing about ME. I'm sure you ARE right. It sounds like AS. Of course, that doesn't mean you have it BUT, if you wanted a diagnosis, it would make the doctor more likely to give you one of AS.

That's a little like what they say about me: "She was born middle-aged." And yes, I think it means AS, except they don't know what that is.

My best friend told me a long time ago that I am an old soul. He meant it as a compliment.

I remember when my elementary teachers and mom telling me I was an old lady in a child suit...It was mostly because of my speech patterns and reasoning

I think the "stereo-type" of "little old lady" that she was referring to may have the following qualities.....

Prudish....annoyed by swearing,crude humor,loudness and silliness.This describes me as a little girl.I could be very silly in my own way but often did not "get" the humor or silliness of my peers.Aspies are known for being "rule followers",tattletales and black and white thinkers and I think some of these qualities,when viewed in a young child can seem odd and be part of the reason we are teased by our peers.An interest in learning is also seen as "to adult" and being a teachers "pet" another reason we are mocked by peers.They seem to have little understanding of a joy of learning for its own sake and not as a means of gaining adult approval or good grades.

What you all have said was very insightful and it explains a lot. Thanks to your responses, I feel validated and not as confused. I appreciate your help.

If I ever talk to a counselor about AS, I'll be sure to bring up the "Odd combination of little girl and little old lady" comment.

Actually, it is ALL something that could spring from being AS!

"Tammy is a follower, not a leader."

Could refer to passivity, and/or the lack to show the right emotion or social skills.

"Tammy's mother is too permissive with Tammy."

Stereotypical of autistic parents, they think the behaviour is due to being spoiled and/or not punished.

"Tammy is a dreamer and won't pay attention."

AGAIN, Stereotypical autistic. Day dreaming, not looking at the speaker, etc...

"An odd combination of little girl and little old lady."

Could have to do with maturity and/or wisdom. It is unlikely it was referring to anything physical, or bad behaviours, because it would likely be put another way.

BTW outside of the "Tammy's mother is too permissive with Tammy." comment, and the fact that it was in the male gender and a different name, the SAME comments were made about me!

I wouldn't read too much into it. After all, you haven't seen what this person said about other students, so the descriptions have no context. Also, it's 1967, and those are completely inappropriate comments (as mentioned earlier: shallow). You're being looked at by an individual who grew up...when? Consider the the notions back then of what a person 'ought' to be.

The 'old soul' concept resonates with something I read in a book on ADD. It was used by doctors in India, I believe.

Rule following? Don't see that. All these labels and supposed traits are momentary, fleeting perceptions. May or may not be true today...will change tomorrow.

I did say MIGHT, etc... With ME, it happened in 1969, and they asked my mother to take me to a psychiatrist! Frankly, you sound like you are making value judgements without knowing anything about the era!

BTW EVERYTHING changes! Some people here have spoken of stis or even TICKS and sensitivities that have changed because of drugs and time. What is your point? The EARLIER times mean more because they most likely show what you are REALLY like.

I'm not meaning to be critical of you...not at all.
Not so much a value judgment as having gone through that kind of thing myself. I know plenty about the era.
I understand what you're saying about the earlier times, but I don't necessarily think it means more. To me, that was just part of the journey. I stepped through a door at that point, and yes, everything is in constant change.
Your teacher was just a person making comments about a kid who turned out to be you. Without being able to get inside her head, to understand what confluence of circumstances caused her to be what she was at that time, you just can't know what she meant. She may have intuitively picked up on something without understanding it herself. Like your mom said, you always seemed wise.

I am a child of the 60's (late) too. I was considered too old for my age, but my mom always said that was because I had been raised around "old people" (67+yr.) - little did she know! I found children annoying and preferred interesting stimulating adult conversation to children.

I think that is what she was inferring: you were a child, yet beyond your years. Isn't it so that many Aspie children were viewed as "brats" because we were all too capable and thus misunderstood? I can't tell you how many times my mother was told I was a brat and prissy by relatives because I didn't enjoy child like antics, was incredibly well behaved and mannered and preferred to hang around the adults. I also came off as being "aloof". I don't think your teacher meant any disrespect from it; she probably never encountered one of us before! You probably wowed her and she didn't know what to think of you.

I've always gotten along well with old people, too. I love to hear their stories about how things used to be "in the olden days".