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Why do people ask this question?

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Gammeldans
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01 Oct 2022, 4:17 am

I have noticed that many people on this forum start threads asking things like "do you also experience this?".
I've seen this question in many discussions (both here and irl).

It seems that many people don't want to solve the problems/issues but rather just know that another person also have a similar problem.

I guess some people have given up on solvig the problems but I'm not sure that's the only reason for that question.

How is knowing that someone else have a similar problem/issue helpful for you?

Personally I think knowing that someone have a similar problem can be a first step in solving the it...or maybe we are talking about ACT in which you cannot solve the issue or problem, ie. it won't go away.



Last edited by Cornflake on 01 Oct 2022, 7:09 am, edited 1 time in total.: Corrected misspelling "Whh" -> "Why"

babybird
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01 Oct 2022, 4:22 am

I think it's so people don't feel lonely.

Like if my daughter tells me something, I might say something like: Yeah me too so don't feel lonely.


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Gammeldans
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01 Oct 2022, 4:27 am

babybird wrote:
I think it's so people don't feel lonely.

Like if my daughter tells me something, I might say something like: Yeah me too so don't feel lonely.

Please elaborate on this.
What exactly are you talking about?



HeroOfHyrule
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01 Oct 2022, 4:40 am

You post in like, every thread I post in this subsection asking if I "have a problem" and then insist that I need to have a problem to want to make a thread. Most people enjoy just conversing with other people and seeing if they share the same experiences with them. No one is "refusing to solve problems" that don't even exist in the first place. If someone is telling you they just want to know if other people experience the same thing, then that's really the only reason they posted, and they don't need you telling them what they need to get out of their posts.



babybird
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01 Oct 2022, 4:53 am

Gammeldans wrote:
babybird wrote:
I think it's so people don't feel lonely.

Like if my daughter tells me something, I might say something like: Yeah me too so don't feel lonely.

Please elaborate on this.
What exactly are you talking about?


I'm answering your question.


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Joe90
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01 Oct 2022, 6:04 am

Well this is a discussion board so sometimes it's nice to discuss topics.

Also I have been criticised before for not finishing my OP with a question, as if the other posters were like "and...?" So by adding "can anyone relate?" it sort of rounds off the OP, ready for discussion.


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Gammeldans
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01 Oct 2022, 6:05 am

babybird wrote:
Gammeldans wrote:
babybird wrote:
I think it's so people don't feel lonely.

Like if my daughter tells me something, I might say something like: Yeah me too so don't feel lonely.

Please elaborate on this.
What exactly are you talking about?


I'm answering your question.

What do you mean by saying that people feel lonely?



Gammeldans
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01 Oct 2022, 6:13 am

HeroOfHyrule wrote:
You post in like, every thread I post in this subsection asking if I "have a problem" and then insist that I need to have a problem to want to make a thread. Most people enjoy just conversing with other people and seeing if they share the same experiences with them. No one is "refusing to solve problems" that don't even exist in the first place. If someone is telling you they just want to know if other people experience the same thing, then that's really the only reason they posted, and they don't need you telling them what they need to get out of their posts.

I mentioned ACT. Let me explain:
sometimes we need to focus on acceptance. We need need this when things can't change or is difficult to deal with.
ACT is a form of therapy. It is a form of therapy that focuses on acceptance.
Acceptance is not the same thing as refusing to deal with something.
I'm reading "do you also experince this?" as "let this thread be about acceptance rather than solving a problem".



naturalplastic
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01 Oct 2022, 6:17 am

You answered your own question by admitting that "knowing that other ppl experience the same thing can be a first step to solving the problem". So there ya go! Question answered.

Its good to get data. Its good just to start the conversation. Like Babybird folks can feel lonely- so if others experience it it shows you're not an isolated weirdo. But if others experience it then they can pass on tips on how to deal the thing -whatever it is.



Last edited by Cornflake on 01 Oct 2022, 7:08 am, edited 1 time in total.: Removed a personal poke

babybird
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01 Oct 2022, 6:18 am

Gammeldans wrote:
babybird wrote:
Gammeldans wrote:
babybird wrote:
I think it's so people don't feel lonely.

Like if my daughter tells me something, I might say something like: Yeah me too so don't feel lonely.

Please elaborate on this.
What exactly are you talking about?


I'm answering your question.

What do you mean by saying that people feel lonely?


OK, some people may feel as though they are the only person who is going through something so they might feel alone in a situation.


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Gammeldans
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01 Oct 2022, 6:24 am

babybird wrote:
Gammeldans wrote:
babybird wrote:
Gammeldans wrote:
babybird wrote:
I think it's so people don't feel lonely.

Like if my daughter tells me something, I might say something like: Yeah me too so don't feel lonely.

Please elaborate on this.
What exactly are you talking about?


I'm answering your question.

What do you mean by saying that people feel lonely?


OK, some people may feel as though they are the only person who is going through something so they might feel alone in a situation.

And why would knowing that someone else experienced something similar make them feel less lonely?
When I hear from other people that I am not the only one experiences something it doesn't make me feel less alone.
It doesn't help me.
Perhaps a support group would be helpful for me.



babybird
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01 Oct 2022, 6:27 am

Yeah find a real life support group.


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Last edited by babybird on 01 Oct 2022, 6:27 am, edited 1 time in total.

Gammeldans
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01 Oct 2022, 6:27 am

naturalplastic wrote:
You answered your own question by admitting that "knowing that other ppl experience the same thing can be a first step to solving the problem". So there ya go! Question answered.

Its good to get data. Its good just to start the conversation. Like Babybird folks can feel lonely- so if others experience it it shows you're not an isolated weirdo. But if others experience it then they can pass on tips on how to deal the thing -whatever it is.

You're not correct! They don't start threads asking how to deal with a problem. They just want to be aware that they are nor alone in what they experiences; whether it's a problem or somwthing else.



KitLily
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01 Oct 2022, 6:33 am

I would ask a question like that for the reasons people mention above:

1. To connect with people who may feel the same as me.
2. So I don't feel like I'm the only one in the world to have that problem/situation.
3. To find out if it's normal to have that problem/situation.
4. Maybe get some advice/tips on how to cope, even if there's no solution (which there generally isn't).
5. To take a break from the real world where people tend to say 'you have that problem? You're such a weirdo!' I would hope that people on Wrong Planet would be more sympathetic and open minded.


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Gammeldans
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01 Oct 2022, 6:54 am

KitLily wrote:
I would ask a question like that for the reasons people mention above:

1. To connect with people who may feel the same as me.
2. So I don't feel like I'm the only one in the world to have that problem/situation.
3. To find out if it's normal to have that problem/situation.
4. Maybe get some advice/tips on how to cope, even if there's no solution (which there generally isn't).
5. To take a break from the real world where people tend to say 'you have that problem? You're such a weirdo!' I would hope that people on Wrong Planet would be more sympathetic and open minded.

5 seems very good! 8)
It is easy for anyone to focus on having problems.



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01 Oct 2022, 1:43 pm

HeroOfHyrule wrote:
You post in like, every thread I post in this subsection asking if I "have a problem" and then insist that I need to have a problem to want to make a thread. Most people enjoy just conversing with other people and seeing if they share the same experiences with them. No one is "refusing to solve problems" that don't even exist in the first place. If someone is telling you they just want to know if other people experience the same thing, then that's really the only reason they posted, and they don't need you telling them what they need to get out of their posts.


That's very well said. I like to have conversations with the people here and share experiences. If I don't have any problems that need solving, I'm not going to be asking for advice that I don't need.


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