females/males ratio in wrongplanet

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...or mothers of autistics.

What do u think? which one is more probably true?

How do you explain this odd ratio ?

Another possibility is a support site like this would naturally attract a much higher ratio of females anyway. But since the official ratio IRL is much higher male that makes alot of extra males available.

I think there are probably a variety of mental/neurological states that make people want to come here, or that make them feel at home here. Perhaps someday a greater complexity in diagnoses will reflect this.

Other possibilities include:

- Women with a neurological AS phenotype are more likely, due to social pressure or other factors, to be able to hide it and are thus underdiagnosed

- Awesome guys who are otherwise socially disfunctional come out of the woodwork on a site like this, attracting the hordes of women deserve but are unable to hold conversation with in person.

- AS women are more likely than AS men to seek out online resources like this

- Some combination of the above


I've wondered about the self-diagnosis/overdiagnosis issue in relation to myself; when I discovered WP, my first response was "Home!," despite the fact that I'd never seriously thought I might be AS before that. I don't quite fit the central diagnostic criteria- I've had a lot of narrow interests in my life, including the detailed analysis of social situations- but I scored a 162 or something (you are almost certainly AS) on the aspie quiz- I have a lot of other aspie- like characteristics. . . To complicate this further, I'm pretty sure I could, if trying, pass for NT in pretty much any situation. . . it's just that the thought of trying makes me want to hide under a rock and cry. My only official spectrum diagnosis is ADD.

Despite all this, my second response to WP- the gender stats were one of the first things I read- was, "so I've found my people, and they are. . . people who think they have AS."

I suppose the relevant issue is, whether or not the statistically "off" portion of women on the site* are actually AS, we have something in common- there's something that makes us like it here. Hopefully y'all don't mind us sticking around till neurology gets around to figuring it out.

* (this is an edit) that is, the portion of us not accounted for by family members seeking help. Technically, I could fall into that category undisputed, but that's not really the main reason I'm here. . .

Last edited by Jainaday on 11 Aug 2007, 10:47 am, edited 1 time in total.

I'm sure there are some females here who aren't actually on the spectrum, but another possible explanation for these numbers may be that women in general (yes, even those like me with diagnosed AS) tend to be more interested in all things psychological/emotional than men are. Seems to me that, even though our wiring is different from that of NT females, many of us still have the hormonally-based drive to bond, discuss feelings, understand other people, etc. Therefore, I'm not surprised that there's a disproportionate number of women on WP. I'll bet many aspie men either

1) don't even believe asperger's exists (my step-father, a raging aspie, does not) or
2) don't see a need to discuss issues relating to AS - they're busy with other fixations

What do you folks think??

I do think that doctors underestimate the prevalence. A girl with AS will still feel weird inside, but is not as likely to be ostracized or disliked, because (especially if she's the quiet type of AS, not the outspoken type) her behavior will be interpreted as deference, ultra-feminine shyness, and agreeability.

Plus, there's sort of a fuzzy area around the border between autistic-like NT and AS. At that point, I don't think it really matters whether someone technically falls into "the aspie zone". My symptoms are severe enough to impact my daily functioning and impede my progress in achieving many of my goals, plus I'm helped by coming here, and I know AS is in my family for sure... so I don't particularly care whether I fall on this or that side of an imaginary and arbitrary line.

That's what I've heard from people who work with AS. Apparently girls are more likely to adapt to it more easily, such as copying how other people behave and mirroring their friends.

Heh, yeah. A certain close family member of mine is a flaming aspie. (Love ya.) If you took one look into his house, you'd know. He has 260 boxes and even more piles of things all related to his reading material and special interests, all "organized" in a very specific way, and which must NOT be touched by anyone. It looks like Donald's apartment in Mozart and the Whale, without the bird poop.

I've mentioned my own readings and discoveries about AS, and I highly doubt he associates himself with it. But I could be wrong. He's not much for confiding secrets. He'd probably think, "What's the point?" He has a super high IQ and a successful engineering career. Over the years he has trained himself how to approach social situations in a very tactical and methodical but ultimately highly successful way. He might benefit from knowing a bit more about why he feels the way he does about certain things (like plans being changed at the last minute, or people messing up his carefully stacked piles of magazines), but basically life has been his therapist and he doesn't have many symptoms for which he has not learned to compensate. I don't think he'd see any benefit in participating in a site like WP.

Oh I doubt my half-sister considers herself autistic and I'm not sure if she even owns a computer. So she is an example of the unreported but likely on the autism spectrum female in this world.

I think when she was much younger she had a boyfriend to so she would have appeared to be a female with no problem obtaining a romantic relationship if she was a member here now when she was that age but the reality is she is a loner like myself now.

One thing does confound me about the emerging opinion that many aspie females go undiagnosed because they appear to actually be very quiet and compliant, etc. That confuses me. Seems to me that a major component of AS is our blunt, flat, and literal communication style. To be honest, I find it hard to believe that any female who actually does have AS could ever have been viewed by others as exhibiting deference, ultra-feminine shyness, or (especially) agreeability. That description sounds much more like a girl with inattentive ADHD than one with AS.

Social anxiety can create quiet.

Also, because quietness is considered so essential for women, socially- I, for one, have spent a lot of time cultivating it. I'm generally very careful about when I speak in person. This has confused a number of people, who first think I'm shy. . . but when I do speak it becomes quite evident that I'm not. . .

I think there are two reactions that one could take as a result of being misunderstood over one's bluntness: either say, "screw you" and keep talking, or clam up. I think girls are more likely to take the second option. They may have the straightforwardness of AS, but they also have the natural feminine desire for harmony.

That's how it feels for me, anyhow. In some situations I rarely speak anymore, because I've offended with my bluntness in the past and I don't know how else to be. My sister, on the other hand, just says what's on her mind and doesn't care who she offends (in many situations, but not all). I'm also more socially compliant in my grooming habits and dress than she is, which I think is probably not a coincidence. My male AS relative is one to clam up as well, a useful skill that he learned over the years (though it took him about 40 years to learn, while I recognized my propensity to be offensive and began taking measures to remedy that at the tender age of 3).

You're lucky you learned so early. I didn't learn until let's see...uh...40! This is an interesting topic for me, because I understand what you mean about our desire for harmony with other people. What my problem was is that I was convinced that harmony would be achieved by showing other people "the light" as far as their mistaken opinions, facts, beliefs, etc. about various subjects in which I considered myself knowledgeable. I'm finally approaching your stage, because I'm finally able to see how I come across to other people. I caught on to my need for good grooming a couple decades before I realized my need for good social skills.

Oh, believe me. I might have begun to realize my mistakes as a young child, but I'm still working on them. I still slip into trying show people "the light" and thereby achieve harmony, like you said. I've pretty much confined that to the internet (though I've toned that down quite a lot) and my family, but I think my family might be happier if I just were to smile and nod.

That's one disadvantage of being female, which I'm sure you've observed. It's expected that a guy be somewhat confrontational and opinionated, but there are certain choice words for females who exhibit those qualities.

^Yes, indeed.

The gender question, to me, is one of the two central mysteries of aspergers; the other one being why the inability to communicate non-verbally would be correlated with those obsessive specialized interests. I don't have final conclusions on either one.

The most striking piece of data is being around one of my daughters, who is clearly aspie. It's obvious that an awful lot of her perspective, her life experience, and the problems she encounters in dealing with others, and the pain of her enforced isolation, are very similar to my own. Her interests, of course, are different. I don't see any indication of a gender difference there.

I'm inclined to think at the moment that aspie behavior differs more strongly from what is expected from straight males than what is expected from non-heterosexual males and from females. Not just a matter of acting agreeable, more like everything about you is somehow subtly wrong.

I think gwenevyn has it right.
My speech patterns are not normal, and people tend to either ignore me or be offended by what I say when I do speak. It's far better for me to just shut up and let them pretend that they know what I'm thinking.