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OK, i need support. The school year is about to begin, and my daughter doesnt want to go back. Next monday...i feel puke coming up just thinking about it.

I've decided that the teacher's response to my request for peer buddies in NT classroom settings is unacceptable. I am attempting to set up a meeting with the principal, who was quite impressed by my daughters drive to succeed last year, after a two year home-school stint.

I need any articles you might have on peer buddies.

Any advice from those on the spectrum on what to do for the best interest of my daughter. She is wanting friends, but it has been such a let down, without support from the school, that i do believe it is why she doesnt want to go back. Do i set up peer support and insist she go back to school? She was an excellent student last year, and matured in self help at the same time....maybe she thinks she's done?

In mid puberty, i know depression can easily come from not having any single friend.

Can the family really be enough? I dont see it in her boredom.

And lastly, if i have to speak in front of the kids at the school in order to implement a peer buddy program.....i'll need encouragement......i'll be skeered so bad.....i'll need drugs, and have none.....prayer will help. And if someone wants to come hold my hand, be prepared....i will hug you....

Thanks for everyone's opinions and honesty on this board. I learn more each day.

tyger

I remember high school...I think my major problems started at about 14. I was tutored at home for a year...after that I dropped out. I refused to go back.

I was an excellent student, even in a few advanced programs...I just could not deal with the other kids, I could not relax...I was stressed to the max trying constantly to fit in. The Dr. put me on medication...and when that didn't work I tried other things on my own.

I wish home schooling had been an option back then...it wasn't...my life may have turned out a whole lot different.

No advice, you have to do what you think is best, because you know your daughter best. Myself, if my son runs into the same problems I probably would not hesitate to yank him out and home school him...just knowing what I went through.

Take care, and I'll be thinking about you....hang in there.

Are you familiar with the teenage liberation handbook?

http://books.google.com/books?id=rk8OAA ... n+handbook

My experience as a teenage homeschooler was that resources and support were everything. Even without them, home was a better choice than school for me; it may be so with yours as well.

Volunteer work is a great way to get less threatening, more enriching social interaction- as well as real world skills that schooled kids often lack.

Good luck, however it all works out.

Thank you both. I should have mentioned my daughter is twelve. I homeschooled for two years, and last year was her first year back. She gets depressed from not being around people. And my people skills lack. Am I enough? Surely not.

I did speak with the principal, who was receptive, and even came up with a possible peer buddy solution on the phone.

I want to do what is right for her....but she'll never make friends being home with me. I'm not even sure i can homeschool in my current county. Last county only needed high school dploma, but i think current requires a BS.

Thank you for the support....it helps.

tyger

Homeschooling done right isn't just you. The man who runs The book thing of Baltimore, inc. and the volunteers I worked with there were a big part of my teenage experience- a big good part.

here's the site, if you want to have a peak. http://www.bookthing.org/

Lots of places take volunteers as young as 12. . . seriously, whether she's in school or not, consider it. As a fairly functional adult, I really believe that being trapped in a room with people who hated- or at best didn't understand me- 35 hours a week did me little or no good- especially given how little control that gave me over my life. The volunteer setting- or even a real workplace- is much more realistic. There are real benefits to sticking it out and working through social problems, but no one is following you around with a carrot and a stick and making threats about your permenent record.

Some junior colleges will let teenagers into some classes, or have special programs for them.

Or, look online for homeschooling groups.

I know here in Utah, you can send your kids for only part time, if you want; it's required by law. Perhaps you could look into compromises?

Oh- and at the book thing- I made board of directors at age 19, nice to have on the resume.

Thank you. It seems that you have done very well for yourself, regardless of school experiences:0). Perhaps, what i need to ask is how to make sure THAT happens with my daughter!

I have a lot of thinking to do, lol.

Thank you for all the information. And support!

tyger

If you are able to home school your daughter again, and if that is what she wants, then it may be the best thing for her. From what I remember of school, most of the social interaction was superficial, negative, and often downright destructive. Your daughter may enjoy higher quality social interaction during extra-curricula activities.

You are not going to believe this!

We have two kids, so we must go to the open house. Our daughter went and she did get upset when we went into her classroom.
But, as i held her face and wiped her tears, explaining to her what she would do if she went to school this year, she came to a realization.

She didnt understand that she passed 6th grade, and she wanted to leave her Special Ed class all along!

She wants to try more classes with 25 kids....not go into her last teachers class. I think it is about social interaction, too. She really doesnt have a lot of kids in that class who can get her wonderful sense of humor every time, or anyone that can lead her in conversation.

I'm blown away by her bravery. And so, we have discussed how she can start conversations. How she can let a teacher know before she has a meltdown(she knows when it's coming!). How she can call her mom anytime(i will have this added to her IEP....they do not want me to remove her from school, and it helps me).

As i talk to her and stroke her hair, i remind her how beautiful she is, and told her we would try some makeup(she is a girly girl, with a tomboy attitude), fix her hair, and buy new necklaces for her first day. I tell her how lucky the other girls will be to have a friend like her, caring, smart, funny....and she smiles shyly through it all, and strokes my arm occasionally. She asks what to do if she gets nervous, and we practice deep breathing, and go over telling the teacher if she cant control it.

I dont even know what to think anymore. Her IEP was part resource, part self=contained and one big class. She has changed the name of the game on us, and now i will have a bigger fight. I so hope i am as brave as she is!lol

Any laws that will help me get her rights in a regular classroom would be helpful!

I cannot help but be proud of her. She just wants to graduate middle school and go to high school someday, like the kids in HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL.

Advice welcome.

tyger

Sounds like your daughter has the most important things in place already - your support and guidance, and her own courage .