Fawning and people-pleasing

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I hear that many autistic people have trauma. I have questioned trauma in the past, but I am now doubting that, especially knowing that C-PTSD can look like ASD in many aspects. I was diagnosed with both PTSD and ASD some months ago. I no longer resonate with my PTSD diagnosis, I no longer care about the event and I feel numbed when I think about it now. It used to affect me really badly at some point, but now I don't feel much of anything anymore related to the event.

The thing is, I hear fawning/people-pleasing is a trauma response. I've been people-pleasing since I was very young. I have little to no memory of something significant enough to warrant a trauma response in me. My social life as a kid was... okay? I can't remember it enough, but I do know when I first started school, I likely did think some things that I know are common with autistic children. Like how kids seemed to know each other, how they seemed to understand each other, how they would make friends so easily, how strange they seemed, etc. I just don't know what could have caused me to fawn besides finding out that I could just... mask. What confuses me is that a significant trauma response occurred before a very traumatizing event when I was 15. Why at such a young age (maybe 6-7 years old) did I learn that I need to be the best for others at the expense of myself? Especially for peers. I would always smile, be kind and nice, etc. I was generally liked by other kids (I assume).

I watched other kids and did what they did. I also know that I had a hard time saying no, I often didn't know when to stand up for myself, I was always taken advantage of, I didn't know much about socializing so I just watched other kids and I got through without being bullied or picked on at school. I'm guessing my 'trauma' is from not saying no to a lot of things, being forced or being pressured to do things I didn't want when I had finally expressed I didn't want to do something, and not understanding others socially to really feel confident in social situations? I genuinely don't understand. I simply looked around, saw kids did certain things because I felt like I didn't know how to "human" so I just mimicked them. I'm not sure if the trauma comes from that or not. As a result, I haven't had too many failed social interactions as a younger child, but I did when I hit middle school when the social hierarchy changed.

Maybe autistic children are more prone to trauma? So perhaps, me simply being taken advantage of by other children and not being taken seriously resulted in my fawn response? What confuses me is that I had nice parents, my friends were also generally nice. They'd sometimes be pretty bossy, though. Especially in my early years. I tended to attract the bossy kids, and the kids people didn't really like. Although, I know my parents weren't really aware of my struggles. Heck, even I wasn't aware until I got diagnosed and realized how much I felt misunderstood or how lonely I felt as a child around other kids.

Anyway, before I go on another tangent... have any of you all experienced this, even when you aren't sure of what the trauma could be or why you have the trauma response?

yes, a trauma response, also kids in older generations (and some still are) are trained to be compliant no matter what.
This leads to people pleasing too.
ABA is all about teaching kids to be compliant!

Between autism sensory perceptions, sensory processing disorders, a life time of being punished without understanding why, etc fawning and people pleasing is fairly common.

I have personal experience with this, did not know I had choices in the way I could respond to demands from any individual.

I got training/therapy in healthy self assertive behavior as a young adult (30) and it saved my life and my sanity.

I had to have an outsider teach me how to recognize when I was being manipulated, intimidated, abused and used... I had to be taught how to set healthy boundaries, how to make healthy choices, how to say NO and stick to it.
Those were tools/ life skills in communication I desperately needed. but did not get growing up in a very sick and unhealthy household.
I thought there was only one safe and acceptable response and that was appeasement, no matter what the situation. Look for information on learning healthy self assertive communication. I didn't even know I was autistic when I got therapy 40 years ago, but it truly was the best thing I ever did for myself and it helped more than any single other thing in my life. Check it out, don't be afraid to try...

Trauma can produce anxieties as well as neurology. People pleasing can be an anxiety avoidance tactic.