Social difficulty examples

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So i’m doing research and im not so sure i struggle all that bad socially. Can ya’ll give me examples of how you struggle socially day to day so I can have a frame of reference

I think my social life is affected both by my mild Autism and also by my strong INTJ preference.

I forced my self to do a few recurring events with other people because I realized it was probably good for me, even if they seemed like a bit of a chore. Then the Pandemic came along and gave me a wonderful excuse to stay home.

My bride is ADHD, borderline Introvert/Extrovert, and not Autistic. I let her take care of most of our social contacts. (Even to staying in touch with my siblings!)

My social difficulties are complex. I'm naturally sociable yet I can be shy. I like talking to people but I don't like clubs and bars because I feel all self-conscious in those places and getting drunk does not appeal to me. My social anxiety is higher around strangers in public spaces than it is around family, friends and colleagues. I usually know the cues of when to ask questions in a conversation but I have to force myself to do it sometimes, which is weird. The more comfortable I am with someone the more questions I will ask. People seem to like questions as it shows you're interested in them.
I sometimes find it hard to think of a response to a joke but I do know a joke when I hear one so I do laugh. I instinctively make eye contact but I have to consciously force myself to look away from passing strangers in the street because I always feel awkward looking at them, due to social anxiety. I often mention myself in conversations but that's usually because I'm empathising with them, also partly because I really want them to know me more and how I'm thinking/feeling. Reading body language/facial expressions/tone of voice is easy but sometimes my impulsivity can make me "disobey" some social hints without meaning to. Sometimes I'm not always sure whether to go up to a group of chattering colleagues and join in or not, but I think I overthink it too much (the "if I go up to them they might think I'm nosy, if I don't go up to them they'll assume I'm aloof" predicament). Or if they walk away I think "do I go with them or do I stay here? If I go with them they'll think I'm following them, but it feels awkward if I stay here and how much time should I give it?" I think it's because I'm not very popular so I've kind of got to go out of my way to join in more so than they come to me. And because I love talking to people and getting emotionally involved, it makes it more awkward.

Remember ASD is a developmental disorder and how social interactions went as a child are of primary importance. Some of us are able to overcome these social deficits as an adult to a large degree.

What Joe describes is the kind of thing I experience:

I don't have that many social difficulties now because I avoid situations that could be problematic and resigned in terms of making friends. When I didn't know I was autistic and wanted to be like other people, that was awful.

Still, I don't think limiting my life is a great choice but I guess this is why autism is a disability: some of our needs just can't be met.

When people ask me how my week was etc I have short-term memory loss and can't answer. They find this very strange and then I feel embarrassed as if I am covering something up. My literal-mindedness prevents me from saying "fine thanks". Now I say "No idea, how was yours?" and they laugh which isn't too bad.

This doesn't happen as often to me now but my life is largely marked by situations where I'll be involved in a conversation or social situation, and after the fact will be told by an observer of the interaction that I was being rude or didn't react to or address something I should have, maybe I was being invited to something and didn't accept the invitation, and I will be surprised because I had no indication there was such an invitation, etc.

This has made me paranoid that there is always "something" I'm missing, something that I'm not understanding or is going over my head that I'm not picking up on when I interact with people. It makes me wonder how many lost opportunities it's resulted in. Unfortunately it's not socially acceptable to ask people directly, you're supposed to just "know."

It's also really hard tell when someone is joking, they will say something and I will take it seriously only to learn later they were joking. But if I make a joke THEY will not detect that it was a joke and THEY will take it seriously. It's wild.

There is also the element of peer pressure to do something that for other people is no big deal but for me is either difficult or something I'd rather avoid.

I don't have social difficulties so much anymore. I've kind of learned how to small-talk and find that balance of contributing and not contributing. I can relax in social situations enough so as to be myself and not be overly quiet, but in my mind, most people are busy talking about nothing, so it can be very exhausting on an emotional or intellectual level to continue to talk about "nothing" all of the time.

An hour of conversation takes a day of preparation and analysis.

I can have physical reactions to social interactions. For example, depending on the subject matter, I might have a conversation with someone, and my brain becomes so taxed by the conversation that I can physically collapse, or I might not be able to function at all for several days. Certain kinds of conversations can also cause me to have severe headbanging meltdowns because my brain can't process them. I just had a conversation with a friend of mine, and it was overwhelming enough that when I walked into my house afterwards, I couldn't keep my balance and I couldn't stand or walk for several minutes. I kept falling over. Unfortunately, she asked me to go out to dinner with her tonight because she is going through a difficult time and needs a friend, so I agreed. But I am very concerned about what that will do to me and how much recovery I will need afterwards, not to mention the fact that I can't afford to eat in restaurants.

I also get socially exhausted extremely easily and it can take me days to recover from a social event. I also have a little bit of social anxiety because I get socially bullied all the time.

Mine usually consists of language ability itself -- verbal thinking, vocabulary recall and auditory processing...

Messages and contexts second.
My primary social issues are receptive and expressive languages. It gives me communication issues.

No amount of practice and socializing does.
Maybe I need an SLP -- a something to organize my thoughts, or I'm somewhat undiagnosed with a language learning issue somewhere.

But something like reading the air? I'm better at that.
I'm better at the less verbal aspects of socialization -- but I'd rather be able to control my body language than be "appropriately open".
And most at the time, I'm just not interested.


But for being weird and all that? Least of my problems.

My current work around was the culture I lived in and the networks I've been born into -- I don't read much about it (more so at youth since my verbal comprehension is shot), so my data based on that workaround is mostly from live and local observations than anything written by a textbook.

And I happened to have a very social parent who is not particularly hostile to me. The latter I'm sure not everyone is privileged to have.

It conjuncts with the culture I've been born into, and that affects how I get treated.
It's not a social class by itself -- we're nowhere well off. My dad is just someone's old friend. And my mom wasn't from a famous line, it's just networkings from ground up with her.

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I don't know how well or badly I perform socially. I don't seem to make any obvious social mistakes, but people don't exactly beat a path to my door either (not that I'd want them to do that in large numbers). I can never be sure what other people really think of me, so mostly I just have to guess. I probably miss out on a lot by not being very outgoing, rarely speaking unless I'm spoken to, playing a defensive game so as not to seem invasive or get pushed away. I don't know which of my social problems are down to the ASD-NT incompatibility thing and which are down to other issues. I don't even know whether they're really problems, or just cases of "be careful what you wish for." For example, as a gut reaction I wish I had more friends, but would achieving that make me feel better or worse?

I'm an empath, which ironically can cause social difficulties, because of trying to please everyone and taking any abuse I get in return because I'm scared of conflict. It can make going to work extremely stressful, as I also suffer with Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD) which is very common with ADHD. So ignoring people's attitudes or not letting it get to me is extremely hard, if not impossible, for me to do. This builds up resentment inwardly which then becomes depression and emotional fragility (crying at a drop of a hat). Very bad for my mental wellbeing.