Been told I "wear my heart on my sleeves"

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Joe90
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06 Jan 2023, 11:11 am

At first I thought that meant I'm sensitive, but when I googled it I found it meant I show my emotions too much. I know I'm doing it but I think I do it more than I should.

I like people to know how I'm feeling but I feel too awkward to verbalise it (also I'll just be told to "stop complaining") so I show it non-verbally instead, although I can be loud too.

I'm not sure if "you wear your heart on your sleeves" is wrong or bad or whatever. But Aspies here are always going on about NTs always feeling some sort of emotion and are emotionally-orientated and that if you don't show emotions then you're a potential murderer and all that crap. But I'm the opposite, so at least I won't have to worry about being suspected of murder.

I've met NTs who also wear their heart on their sleeves and they're usually the sensitive type. I am a sensitive type. Too sensitive.


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MissMary227
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06 Jan 2023, 11:15 am

Do you know your MBTI type? That might help explain it, if you are a feeling type. We need feeling types. <3


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Joe90
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06 Jan 2023, 11:31 am

I also wear my heart on my sleeves here on WP too. :P

I did take that test thing a year or so ago, in a thread here, but I can't remember what my result was. But I know it had an I and a J in.


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kraftiekortie
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06 Jan 2023, 11:42 am

It shows you're sensitive.

It might or might not mean you are overly emotional.

It's not always an insult.



usagibryan
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06 Jan 2023, 12:00 pm

I've been told this exact phrase. I have no poker face, my facial expressions and reactions always give me away.


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06 Jan 2023, 12:42 pm

"You wear your heart on your sleeves" in my opinion in ASD's case means if we don't like someone we are less able to hide it and thus avoid possible conflict. This Christmas I headed back to my hometown. There I went to a party with my extrovert sister. We met all those acquaintances from the past who had all come back for the holidays. My God I felt so awkward meeting these people, while them had an easy time putting a mask and acting like they were genuinely glad to see me, while both sides know very well we really didn't care. So you see, they showed excitement while I showed my awkwardness. NT's have the ability to socialise and have a good time while at the same time hating each other's guts. I will never understand that.



Joe90
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06 Jan 2023, 3:15 pm

Dengashinobi wrote:
"You wear your heart on your sleeves" in my opinion in ASD's case means if we don't like someone we are less able to hide it and thus avoid possible conflict. This Christmas I headed back to my hometown. There I went to a party with my extrovert sister. We met all those acquaintances from the past who had all come back for the holidays. My God I felt so awkward meeting these people, while them had an easy time putting a mask and acting like they were genuinely glad to see me, while both sides know very well we really didn't care. So you see, they showed excitement while I showed my awkwardness. NT's have the ability to socialise and have a good time while at the same time hating each other's guts. I will never understand that.


No it's not quite like that with me.


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06 Jan 2023, 6:05 pm

Sure. But I can imagine it, from your culture and then yourself.
How it is a good or a bad thing, depends on you, depends on the context.

There's 'you're emotional, but we accept that and you're great to be around', then there's 'you're emotional, but you overwhelm us sometimes'.


Mine, however, is interpreted in a worse possible context -- to me it meant I'm being a fricking problem and people had to move their ar*es for me because I can't manage my emotions. :roll:
And I fricking hate it. I've been fighting it for most of my life since childhood.

I'd rather be that "emotionless monster" suspected of murder and who triggers danger response -- I've been wishing it to be this way, than this reactive seem harmless but is a "demanding spoiled brat".

I'd rather be feared and catered yet still in control, than be catered because I'm a fricking liability who couldn't do it herself.

But I know my culture well.
It's not socially dumb enough to assume one might be a "psychopathic killer" for not showing enough "face".


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IsabellaLinton
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06 Jan 2023, 6:18 pm

It means people can tell your emotions if they’re extreme. I’m the same way but mostly in writing. People can tell when I’m super happy or feeling down even if I don’t say so. In real life it’s harder to tell (for me) unless I’m with a select few people. The weird thing is I can’t tell my feelings myself but other people can read them from me.


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y-pod
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07 Jan 2023, 12:32 am

There's nothing wrong with that. We don't live in Victorian time any more. I have quite a few family members who show all their emotions. As long as you're not angry and picking fights with people all the time I'm sure other people don't mind either.


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mharrington85
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07 Jan 2023, 1:20 am

It seems I wear my heart on my sleeves, too, as I always get emotional when things don't go my way. My mother wants me out of the house because of it.



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09 Jan 2023, 12:28 am

I've always thought it the mark of a genuine person. Possibly also a vulnerable one too, but genuine. And among supportive, non-judgemental friends, I don't think there's anything dangerous in allowing feelings to show. I think I have two modes, a more inscrutable one for when I'm with people I don't trust, and another open-hearted one for the others. Though it's not quite that black-and-white.



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09 Jan 2023, 1:33 am

I have found that true strength lies through vulnerability. And "wearing your heart on your sleeve" is a form of vulnerability. To me it's the sign of a genuine trustworthy human. I think it freaks many people out, but I'm not many people.


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Joe90
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09 Jan 2023, 6:06 am

I thought not showing emotion freaked people out.


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autisticelders
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09 Jan 2023, 6:14 am

when I got diagnosis, the dr said I was "open and vulnerable" and commented that many autistic people do not guard their hearts/ selves ... but openly express our emotions and are open to others' approaches (good or bad) because of this. I think wearing your heart on your sleeve means that your emotions are easy to read. Especially the kinder emotions, love, empathy, generosity, when you are feeling loving or feeling hurt. (not referring so much to anger in this expression)


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Joe90
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09 Jan 2023, 6:30 am

autisticelders wrote:
when I got diagnosis, the dr said I was "open and vulnerable" and commented that many autistic people do not guard their hearts/ selves ... but openly express our emotions and are open to others' approaches (good or bad) because of this. I think wearing your heart on your sleeve means that your emotions are easy to read. Especially the kinder emotions, love, empathy, generosity, when you are feeling loving or feeling hurt. (not referring so much to anger in this expression)


I thought the nature of autism was the opposite, where people with autism have trouble expressing their feelings or are harder to read.

I have ADHD so maybe it's that as well with me.


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