Autistic Trait? Or Symptom of Sexual Abuse?

Post Reply New Topic

I'm a 28-year-old male ASD. I'm beginning to suspect I might have been sexually abused as a child, but I'm not entirely sure if these are merely autism traits - in your experience, have you experienced these / are they normal for ASD? In short, I'm wondering if I have repressed memories that I cannot currently access as I have little recollection of childhood years before 7. Here are a few of my symptoms:

- Intense childhood fear of being seen naked, or even in undergarments
- Intense childhood night terrors of adults screaming at me at the top of their lungs
- Fear of falling asleep and having more bad dreams during childhood, hate going to bed to this day
- harmful addictions in adolescent with more intensity than the average person
- Extreme distrust of strangers
- Low self-esteem / high degrees of shame and guilt
- When I hear about a rape in particular happen on the news, I feel an intense anger and desire for justice, even if I have no personal connection with the survivor

Those who have not experienced sexual abuse, do you have any of these symptoms? Thoughts?

Sounds like average ASD to me.

trauma response/anxiety due to trauma being autistic makes it harder for us to understand all the surrounding "whys" when we are kids, diagnosis at age 68 finally gave me the clues I needed to start unraveling trauma and abuse from before I could speak. Self care always first. Therapy might help if you can find somebody who you trust and can communicate with easily. Sometimes we need an outsider's input to see old things in new light. Healing from trauma can come at any age, its never too late.

Sounds like some sort of PTSD.

I think most of those are nothing to do with autism.
Don't jump to any conclusions though.

I don't think these symptoms have something to do with ASD, though they may be influenced by it.

One reoccuring theme in my dreams was that I'm mute. E.g. I want to scream but I can't. Nothing about people screaming at me. I think the reason for it is that I have significant difficulties at verbal communication.

I was never sexually abused. I think when witnessing a rape it's legitimate to use severe violence to incapacitate the aggressor, making sure he can't harm anyone again any time soon. The aggressor violated the non-aggression principle.

Self censored the rest of my message because of violent content. I'm extremely allergic to people who don't respect the fundamental human right to self-determination. No one must touch me without my consent (last time I saw my older sister she asked if I consent to her hugging me - I think already disliked hugs as a baby, as there's a picture of me "defending" myself as a baby).

It sounds like it's likely interaction between ASD and trauma, although not necessarily SA related.

Signs of abuse and trauma.

I'm autistic. And I cannot relate. At all.

Gained Number Post Count (1).
Lose Time (n).

Lose more time here - Updates at least once a week.

I was SA at age 7 and I'm autistic so I'll do the best I can with your list.

- Childhood fear of being naked: No, I wouldn't say that, but I always felt naked / exposed because I have Scophophobia. It's a fear of being looked at whether I'm dressed or not. I used to fear anyone looking at me in any situation and to a large extent I still do. I just want to be invisible all the time. I don't think it's related to my SA, but Scophophobia is really common in ASD. That doesn't mean all people with Scophophobia are autistic or that they were SA, and it doesn't necessarily mean you were SA. I'm just saying that for me, I recall feelings of Scophophobia before age 7 or SA. I think I was just born with that phobia.

- Night Terrors: I remember having nightmares which were continuing stories over several nights. I woke up screaming a lot and wanted to sleep with my parents but they made me sleep on the floor if I went into their room. This was all prior to SA as far as I recall. I don't think my night terrors were related to being autistic. I've been diagnosed with a lot of congenital sleep disorders since then. Now I take nightmare meds to sleep.

- Fear of falling asleep: Many autistic people have difficulty sleeping because our brains are so active. My daughter developed a phobia of sleep much like yours. Doctors said it was because her brain is hyper-alert and wants to stay active. It's afraid of shutting down or being vulnerable. That doesn't necessarily mean you were SA but it doesn't necessarily mean the person is ASD either. It's a type of sleep disorder / pathological phobia, or a learned behaviour.

- Harmful addictions: There's evidence that autistic people are prone to addiction either because they have comorbid ADHD or because they're looking for a way to self-soothe stress and feel less anxious in social / sensory situations. Again, it doesn't necessarily mean the person is autistic or that they were SA.

- Extreme distrust of strangers: Many autistic people have difficulty reading strangers' eyes or being able to interpret body language, intention, or duplicity in other people. We are often considered naive or vulnerable in this regard but of course it's not the same for everyone. Those of us who have been manipulated or deceived by people on a regular basis might develop a distrust, but "distrust of strangers" in and of itself doesn't mean a person is autistic. It likely means they have CPTSD from repeat emotional abuse or frustration in their lives, and their brain can't forget.

Low self-esteem / high guilt and shame: These are the hallmarks of CPTSD, which could develop because the person is autistic and feels misunderstood or mistreated over and over again during their development, or it could signal CPTSD from SA and other abuse.

News: Yes, I'm triggered very easily and I'm always concerned with human rights violations.

I only have Scophophobia around strangers when I'm out in public. I seem to have different feelings when around strangers, I feel like they're judging me more than people who know me. Or maybe I just feel that people I know have more right to judge me than strangers. I don't judge strangers myself, and even if I do I don't make it obvious to them that I'm judging them. I wouldn't giggle or snicker loudly near some random stranger just because I don't like his or her jacket, or stare just because they have a limp or something. I don't think strangers have the right to openly judge you when they don't know you and don't have to be in your life.
Also I think my Scophophobia comes from past experiences of being humiliated in public, either caused by my own lack of knowledge of certain behaviour rules, or by bullies. So to this day it's kind of made me feel social anxiety whenever I'm out in public.
Obviously now I don't lack knowledge of behaviour rules when out in public, as I know how to behave like a clone, but when I was a teenager I lacked some of these skills and I often embarrassed the people I was with. I suppose back then I believed that strangers don't notice or care what you do. I had to learn that the hard way.

I just don't have this fear and anxiety related issues that are influenced by autism.

If anything, autism gave me less fear instead -- not in a naive and clueless sense fearless, but perhaps it's just my personality to just take whatever unforeseen consequences.
Reckless and apathethic is a more apt term in my own case, than cautious. Not that's any better.

Hostility would be the closest thing for me, but these scenarios doesn't even trigger hostility for me at all.


I don't have body issues in a psychological sense. But more like physical issues related to feeling exposed.
I may not mind being seen naked or show some skin in a middle of the night walking alone even, yet I don't like how the air interacts with my skin and the very fact that I don't tolerate cold well.
Maybe it's just touch and proprioceptive in my own case.

Being stared at would make me laugh... Or awkward. Whether it's supposedly embarrassing or having to confront by someone supposedly superior.
Maybe I'm lucky. Maybe I don't really act and walk like a target. I only seem oblivious and in my own world until they realize that I can hear them all.

I rarely ever have nightmares. I dislike sleep because of physical issues around sleep issues, which is still plenty of it.

I don't get apprehensive towards strangers. If anything, they're rather apprehensive towards me.

And the topic of rape is either a bit foreign and out of range of experience to me. At best, a topic to think at how to counsel and support them -- never a would have been me or someone or what.
I understand injustices and it does caused me ire. But I don't think sympathetic, I think of either vengeance or prevention.

Gained Number Post Count (1).
Lose Time (n).

Lose more time here - Updates at least once a week.

It looks like signs of abuse to me. I've never experienced most of those things.