Self-Medicating Social Awkwardness with Alcohol

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I've noticed that a lot of the difficulties that those with Asperger's have with socialisation are things which, for me, get better if I have a couple of beers. It's easier to make eye contact, to continue a conversation, and my speech is more even. I stop overanalysing everything, and just concentrate on the conversation. It's something that I think I've been doing for a very long time (I'm British, and started visiting pubs - I'll draw a distinction between American bars which tend to be loud, crowded and uncomfortable, and British pubs which can be quiet, spacious and not overwhelming - when I was about 14). As such, I don't feel like I have the major problems making friends and holding conversations that many with AS seem to have, although I'd describe my circle of friends as still pretty small.
I did a bit of Googling to see if there was any information on those with AS using alcohol to ease their social interactions, but there were only a couple of hints that this might happen (and one strong statement that those with AS are at higher risk of abusing alcohol than the general population). I'm guessing part of this is that the drinking culture in the US is very different to that of the UK (which might also explain why I've had a far, far harder time making friends since I moved to the US, although I attribute a lot of that to being out of University and the sprawl and car culture), but I was wondering if there's anyone else out there who uses alcohol to make socialisation easier? I doubt it's just me.

Thanks,

Mmaestro

A lot do self medicate and a lot end up impairing themselves even further by drinking. Don't drink and drive aspie. Remember, NT's already hate you as it is, without being drunk.

Are you sure your not just more comfortable around other people who are drinking?

A drunk NT is usually more accepting of your oddities and less likely to take things personally.

At least in english pubs as you said.. in american bars far too many people there are simply looking for an excuse to start a drama and/or violence.

Basically that used to be the only way I "could" socialize with some effectiveness.

It also had a downside as it was sometimes hard to moderate the safe levels...you had to know the level of alcohol that made you social...and the level of alcohol that turned you into an a$$ & the level of alcohol that made you stupid. That was were my problem was...distinguishing between those levels.

Ethanol has an anti-anxiety effect. Its common for people with social anxiety to abuse it. Benzodiazepines are more selective and perhaps a better addiction than alcohol at dealing with acute social
anxiety.

I hear that. I think I've skirted close enough to the abuse level to know when too much is too much (also, my wife would kick my behind). It does seem tougher in the US in part because the good beer is all brewed so strong, so finding the right moderate level is harder. I'm not concerned about addiction because I think I know my limits, and I've also had a few medical issues recently that meant no alcohol. I didn't find that difficult. (And, it makes me wonder, is being able to "look outside yourself" and "see" an addictive reaction an AS trait? I love cigars although I don't smoke any more, and was always able to tell when I really wanted one when it was the nicotine talking and not me. I just avoided them 'til the feeling had worn off.)
HereComesTheRain, no driving if I've had more than one. My wife drinks a lot less, so we usually agree before we go out who's driving home, and it's usually her. Not something I'd take a risk with.

Good news and bad.

The Good News
Alcohol will relax you and reduce anxiety. As others drink they will find your AS behavior more acceptable (or ignore it).

The Bad News
Alcohol impairs judgement, you will say things that really should not be said and make decisions which in the cold light of day look foolish. Too much alcohol and you will not get an erection, so forget about the one night stand with the pretty girl by the bar. Finally, drinking and driving is a very VERY bad idea, don't do it.

Ed Almos

i gave up drinking. the bubbles no longer tickle my nose

I have 10 years experience around drinking people.

Alcohol simply makes OTHERS overlook your odd behavior. Most aspies have some awareness of body language. Perception of negative reactions from those around you will increase anxiety. So when they are sauced, They dont see it.

In short, its not a cure, nor a treatment. Want to try an experiment? Get drunk around people that are not drinking. You'll quickly understand its not changing your actions, its blinding their perceptions.

For years I assumed the amswer to my social problems was substance abuse, i would seem like I had a problem in public, but privatly i was sober. At first, and did this throughout high school, I would smoke pot to relax me, it took years to realize that that makes it worse sometimes.

I got old enough to drink a few years back, and would drink alot, at friends houses, the bar, anytime I had to deal with ppl (outside of work of course). It became a problem, I did not know my limits, and had some rough nights as a result. Only within this last year have I quit drinking regularly, ill drink a few very good, expencive beers (never in a bar anymore) on the weekends and thats it.

Now, and i just beleive I have to have something, I tend to abuse perscription pain killers to make me feel good, so im not drunk, i can function, but im relaxed and when im around ppl im not doin stuff with my hands, or giving off weird vibes or whatever, they are powerful too, no alcohol when i take these.

Ill admit, its a problem, but ive tried my whole life to fit in, I do a good job, but have to have something to take the edge off, alcohol is dangerous, pot makes you stupid, pain medication, while it kills your liver, is the best for me, not that im advocating it, we all, if we feel the need, have to have something, am I wrong about that???

I can forget about drinking. If I stay up too like, I appear drunk without drinking. One guy tried to stop me from driving away as he thought I was drink driving. Another time I really put it on, singing and all and stumbling about. I freeked out a friend of my friend who didn't know me as they didn't trust that I was in a condition to be driving.

I didnt really realize that the purpose of alcohol for many people,AS or NT,was meant to relax and be able to enjoy socialization.
I knew that I had to drink to be around people.My objective from the beggining of drinking was two fold.I wanted to commit "temporary suicide"I wouldne eat before I drank and only drank hard liquire to black out as soon as possible.I almost always accomplished this without passing out or throwing up...not sure why but I'm from a family of alcoholics so I imagine we have a genitic predisposition to consume without our bodies realizing we are consuming poison (some trick,huh).

My second objective was to find a boyfriend who would love and charish me.I found a lot more of the variety who would tell me that they loved and charished me and then have sex and never hear from them again.I dont even want to imagine what my "learning curve" on this was because I repeated this for over 10 years.Amazingly I did manage to find some 6mth to year relationships out of this behavior which probably was what reinforced it in me.I certainly wasnt getting any dates while I was sober(and hiding behind trees when people were around)Guys never "asked me out on a date".The BF I did get involved with were my "best and only" friends.I would get to belong to their group of friends for as long as the relationship lasted.OK,not a perfect solution,but it did keep me from being so lonely I would contimplate suicide.I used to get drunk,find a comfortable wall to put my back against and squat and watch people.It was like a trip to the zoo.

Then I would spot my "prey",some innoscent bystander I would stare out until I memorized their faces.I would become obsessed with them,write poetry(bad),and think about them constantly.Eventually,I would see them at another "kegger" and go hit on them.....repeat.After 3,6,9 months the obsession would abate and I would "like" the person but no longer be obsessed.I would start craving to drink again and fantasizing about meeting someone I was more compatable with(time had taught me that ,although the person I wa dating was wonderful,they did not share my goals,interests,etc)So I would end the relationship(in which I drank very little)and go find the next "victem".


So,did I drink to socialize?I thank I drank to get out of my own racing mind and try and find someone to connect fill the lonliness and fulfill my need fo obsessions.Just a theory.

I actually have heard the claim that alcohol can help with Aspergers social problems, though only from people without Aspergers. Personally, I try to avoid drug and alcohol use myself and I'm not sure if the problem is really just a matter of social inhibition.

I don't think it's purely a problem of social inhibition, but I do think the alcohol can help. I'm also seeing a lot of assumption that I'm talking about getting absolutely hammered - not so, at least not in my case (although I will admit that I used to, especially while at University and in its immediate aftermath). Just a couple of drinks, enough to ease off. Fuzzy's got me second guessing myself, though - I think that I get better at least at keeping conversation flowing and looking people in the eye, but I may have to experiment to see if that's actually the case, or if I'm just relaxing and not noticing my own "shortcomings," or that others are ignoring the issues I have. I couldn't say for sure, it was just the way I felt. I try to avoid, at least nowadays, drinking so much I'll say something I regret. We really are just talking about 1 or 2, here, not 6 or 7.