Expressing sincerity to NT’s…

Post Reply New Topic

How? Without sounding awkward?

Last edited by Erjoy29 on 04 Feb 2023, 12:46 am, edited 2 times in total.

How you express sincerity depends on the circumstance, recipient and intention. As with a lot of these scenarios there is no cookie cutter one size fits all approach.

What do you mean by "expressing sincerity"?

The OP is not checking her post or choosing not to respond.

I tend to find that with NT-related questions, there is an expectation that there is a simple solution. But it's never the case.
From early childhood NT social behaviour is influenced by multiple factors but what is important to remember that in addition to inherent characteristics of an individual (e.g. personality) there is a synergistic effect where external factors influence the NT response over time. Inter-personal factors (family-friends) influence inherent characteristics and in turn external/situational factors also influence personal characteristics.

The expression of sincerity is both learned and spontaneous. And yes, many NTs struggle to express sincerity, especially if it's non-genuine. Therein lies the mystery of the OPs question posed. Is she referring to
a) genuine sincerity?
b) non-genuine?

I think she is referring to a) since (I'm assuming) autistic people struggle with expressing intent > NTs

However, socially adept NTs are also able to read people quite well, so if the intent is sincere then usually they will pick it up, even if the expression of sincerity appears awkward or clumsy.

Good question.

Is she confusing the word "sincerity" with the word "sympathy"?

Or does she mean expressing ...something...anything...including maybe 'sympathy'...with...'sincerity', as opposed to joking/sarcasm?

Examples would be nice.

If a coworker's mom just died you can always "I am sorry to hear that. Is there anything I can do?" Like that. Cliche, but thats what cliches are for. Ready made phrases you can pull out of the social toolbox.

Cannot say good things about dealing with NTs , am kinda naive about people but often have expressed sincerity
to a great many NTs , whom have taken it as weakness or gullibility ...And turned me into a target . For him and his collective gang / family types.
"But am pointing out my own Point of veiw" . Later in life have found a very few select individuals whom , had considered them as NT types but later on , seemed very likely , i was dealing with a few high functioning Aspies , whom never sought diagnosis . It later appeared . Sorry if my honesty offends anyone . (IMHO)

Just the wording in this discussion-thread, 'Expressing Sincerity to NTs' stands-out. Hence, why I choose to respond.

From my own personal experiences with the Autism Spectrum, the NTs I value highly have more than a casual awareness with the Autism Spectrum esp. High Fuctioning Autism (HFA). Such thougtful people (yes, thoughtful people who are hard to find) deserve more credit, and mentions here on WP!

In short, people with HFA cannot always expect to interact with people who are one-hundered percent aware of HFA - it is what it is!

One of the sad things about WP is the lack of NTs who have experience with communicating with people on the spectrum. I myself have made a concerted effort but to be honest after more than a decade I still find it difficult to decipher the autistic brain.

It doesn't help that many on WP don't want NTs here.

Not quite sure what "sincerity" means, even after looking it up on Google I still don't see how it suits the question the OP is asking, so I'm not sure how to answer.

I'll give my two cents anyway, and sorry if this is irrelevant.
I've been told by close NTs whom I trust that a lot of NTs can get a little creeped out by people who come across as way too nice. It might sound baffling to most Aspies, because you're all probably thinking "but what's so wrong about being nice?" There's nothing wrong with being nice as such, but it doesn't always earn respect. Some NTs even think that people who are too nice all the time are sissies.
I can see where they're coming from and I can see why it sometimes may creep them out.
I think social rules ideally are best learnt the hard way through experience, rather than taught logically, because there are no precise rules. Every social rule depends on the context of a situation, environment, what sort of person you're talking to, what sort of person you are, and so on and so forth.

Many Aspies fail socially or romantically because they are only going by how they've been told to act and then they tend to do one extreme or the other. But sadly it doesn't work like that in the NT world, as I know all too well.

Sadly that is the case. This also applies to socially isolated NTs as well. Socially experienced NTs tend to be uncomfortable with people who don't reciprocate socially the way they are accustomed to. It therefore takes more effort for the NT to accommodate the socially awkward person. Most NTs don't have the patience, inclination or motivation to exert that effort.

That's like playing music. We need a good reperoire of tunes or licks when jamming. What we do in non-musical social situations is also jamming.
But in social situations we are ussually less prepared.

Yeah it's like damned if you don't,damned if you do.

When someone says 'how are you?'

You can say 'fine' and the conversation dies.
You can be open and say 'this is bothering me' but then they give me a strange look and talk to someone else.

Being too normal is too boring but anything strange gets 'the look' and rejection.
Crap disability to have unless it was counted as something for the government to put you on 'disability' payments, but still pretty crap.