going to an "autism social club" today...

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if you've seen my prior posts, you'll know that i'm trying to make more friends in the autism/nd world. a group near me holds a monthly "autism social club", and i decided to go to this month's virtual meeting. i'm a bit nervous, admittedly. i'm not really sure why-- perhaps it's because it's the first group i've gone to (semi)in-person where i'll be openly identifying as an autistic person? or maybe just the social interaction of it all is intimidating? i'm not sure, but i really hope it goes okay. the group seems to be good in terms of promoting autistic self-advocacy which is important to me, so that's a good sign, i guess? i'm not sure. anyways, if anyone has any tips, or experience going to events like these, i'd love some insight.

sending best wishes, I have no experience in virtual/zoom/webcam meetings or "real life" autism meetings but I'm very curious to learn what happens. Cheering you on! Keep us posted.

just got back- it wasn't quite my pace to be honest; there wasn't much conversation (possibly on account of it being virtual) or structure really. i think maybe what i need is more of a support group and less of a social group? i'm not sure. in the book i'm reading, the author recommends seeking out groups that aren't autism-specific but that autistic/nd folks tend to frequent, like lgbtq+ identity groups or other hobby/interest groups, so maybe that'll be my next course of action. thank you for the reply!

It can take people in any type of group time to warm up and get to know each other. You'll probably find that in a lot of first-time meetings people will tend to be more shy/reserved until you get a chance to know people a bit better.

I've tried a bunch of different groups and I usually don't have much in common with people aside from the one special interest or focus of the group as a whole. I can sometimes find a person or 2 that I might like to get to know better if the group is large enough, but I've have had very little luck in autism specific meetups. A lot of times after the, So, your autistic too?" there isn't anything else to say.

Depending on your OTHER interests, you might look for a group that focuses on that, rather than autism itself. I wish you luck.

In my own support group that meets via text-based chat, we try to help this process along by making a point of being friendly to newcomers, as follows:

1) Having a round of introductions in any meeting where there are any newcomers present. The instructions for the round of introductions are: "Everyone, say whatever you feel comfortable telling us about yourself that's relevant to your reasons for being here." The old-timers then usually introduce themselves first, setting an example for the newcomers.

2) In our general support group meetings (i.e., meetings without an announced topic), we give priority to answering newcomers' questions or addressing any issues that the newcomers bring up.

(Note: We ALSO hold monthly topic-focused discussions, with pre-announced topics, in addition to our monthly general support group meetings.)

3) Because our support group meetings are text-based chat, there is less need to worry about things like turn-taking, or trying to avoid interrupting each other, than there is in either an in-person meeting or a video conference.

(Note: We ALSO have in-person gatherings, in addition to our text-based chat meetings.)


In addition to our support groups, the Autistic Peer Leadership Group aims eventually to build a bunch of career-oriented groups (for autistic people who either work or want to work specific categories of professions/occupations/jobs) and hobby-oriented social groups (for autistic people with specific hobbies). So far, we have one group of each of these two types. We hope eventually to have many more such groups, to help a wide variety of autistic people make friends with other autistic people with whom they have more in common than just autism.

autism meetups in real life are usually good. the video chat seems to have a lot of disadvantages.

General social groups tend not to work too well, for autistic people, unless the meetings have specific themes. It might indeed be a good idea to seek out a support group instead.


I think the autistic community needs more groups that are specifically for autistic people and that are also focused on something other than just autism, in addition to general support groups for autistic people.