Need help communicating better with my therapist

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I am 41 and have clinically been diagnosed with adhd. A few months ago something happened that made me wonder if I might also be on the spectrum. I started down the research rabbit hole and found a lot of evidence to support that possibility. I have taken the raads-r every 2 months and have consistently scored in the 170-180 range. I took the steps to get a referral for a therapist and I have only had one visit with them. I do not feel like it went well. I didn't feel heard and I was trying not to mask so I was rubbing my face because I was getting frustrated. He took it as high anxiety. I tried to see what other providers might be available but I am having a hard time. So I kept my second appointment with my current doctor. My next appointment is tomorrow and I am really worried I'm not going to do a good job explaining and I'm not sure how to approach it. I've spent the last few weeks working through it over and over. It's so frustrating to feel like I understand something so well but can't explain it to save my life. Any suggestions would be appreciated.

Welcome to Wrong Planet.

One session does not make an assessment.

Just try and be yourself that is all you can do. The idea here is not necessarily to get an autism diagnosis but to get the right diagnosis.

Either way let us know how it went. While we can’t diagnose you, we can tell if it was a poorly done assesement.

If you suspect autism, I would suggest that you make an organized list of the reasons why. Organize your list into categories such as "social difficulties," "sensory issues," "executive functioning issues," etc. If you are aware of having had developmental delays as a child, you should include those as well.

Then bring two copies of the list next time you see your therapist. Give one copy to your therapist and keep the other one to refer to during the session.

People who fit the definition of Autistic fall into many categories.

You indicated that you believed that you fell into the RAADS–R scale. I was not familiar with this scale, so I looked it up on the internet.

Who the test is designed for

---- Adults (age 16+) with ASD level 1 or subclinical autism.
---- Adults with IQ in the normal range (IQ >=80).

According to the site, the scores ranged from 0 to 240. If your score was greater then 65 it generally meant that you were autistic (neurotypical).

Welcome to WP!

And regarding the topic you started...I suspect the answers could differ depending upon what country you are in.

First I apologize for the delay in responding. My visit last Friday went much better then the first. I started the visit by sharing some of the things that I didn’t like about the first visit. He was very receptive and we had a very good discussion that led me to feel much more positive. I should say that I am at the very beginning of my journey. Long story short I had always blamed all of the things that I thought made me weird on my adhd and past childhood trauma. I was sexually abused for a few months when I was 5. I finally started to get help working through that about a year and a half ago. I have continued my journey of healing and growth until a few months ago when something happened that brought the ASD question into the picture. I spoke with my doctor and got a referral but the wait times are so long they scheduled me with my current provider as a way to get treatment sooner. Come to find out the hospital system I use doesn’t do anything with adult asd. No assessments or treatment. He told me this Friday. He gave me some recommendations for local places that do all of those things and I am at the beginning of contacting them. I am going to continue regular therapy while I work on getting in elsewhere. I am just trying to figure out if the asd road is one I need to go down or if it's another. I hope that makes sense.

this is such positive news! Great work at taking action for healing and for being you own best advocate. It sounds like you are doing all the best healthy things in the actions you are taking. Getting therapy and finding answers saved my life and sanity. It is the best thing I ever did for myself! Every scary emotional thing that was so hard then was worth it in the end. Cheering you on.

You wrote:

I am just trying to figure out if the asd road is one I need to go down or if it's another.

It is always good to know how your are different and why and ways to improve yourself. But as you said, after childhood years, generally the journey to understanding is not paid for. You are generally on your own.

That is probably why Wrong Planet came into existence. We are the people who have lived your journey. For better or worse, we are the last line of defense.