Looking for a Therapist

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I'm looking for some advice about calling a therapist. I've been struggling with some dark and negative thoughts over the past few years which led me to write a suicide note and attempt it just recently. A few days after the failed attempt, my dad found the note I had left that night along with a very sad story I had written a couple of years ago. My dad suggested I attend therapy to get better and he gave me some numbers to call, but the truth is, I'm very anxious about calling for the first appointment. I need to go on Saturday because I work during the week. What if this place doesn't have Saturday appointments? Also, I'm not sure if I have anxiety or depression, along with my mild ASD, but I want to tell the new therapist everything that's been going on inside my head so I can try to get some help. However, I'm worried that they might hear "suicidal thoughts/attempted suicide" and automatically send me off to a mental hospital. The thing is, I'm not suicidal right now, or even everyday for that matter. It's only if something upsets me and makes me sad that I have those thoughts because I don't have the coping skills to deal with the intense disappointment and sadness I sometimes feel. I need long term help and in order to get long term help, I need to be honest with them about what's going on, but I can't afford to miss work while I'm in a hospital. I'm also afraid that they're going to try to convince me to get hooked on drugs. While I realize that some medications are good for people with mood disorders and I even respect this, it's not where I want to start. I need help with my deeply rooted issues, not just pills to mask the pain. Then there's the fact that my mother doesn't know about any of this. What will I tell her about why I need to see a therapist all of a sudden? She'd be crushed if she knew I tried suicide, or at least that's what my dad says, which she probably would being honest. Finally, I'm wondering how long therapy typically lasts for people. Is it something that should last for months, or years? I know it's different for everyone, but I'm scared to start the connection with the therapy, only to have it broken after a period of so many months or years. I think my family is under the impression that I will go and get "cured" in a few months. I want this to be the case, but I'm not sure it will be? Sorry for the long post once again, but I'm really anxious about all of this.

I'm no expert, but I would hope that any good therapist would help you work through your problems without psych meds as long as you made it plain you don't want to go that way. And as long as you don't give them the impression that you're much of a danger to yourself, I don't see how anybody could legally force you to take them.

When you go see a therapist for the first time, you're interviewing them for the job of becoming your therapist. Think of it as an opportunity to find out if they are going to be the right therapist for you. By all means, tell them how you are feeling (but make sure you make it clear that you are not suicidal right now), but rather than expecting the therapist to understand and help immediately, use the time to find out if they understand you and if you feel comfortable with them. You are in charge, not them.

Unless you go to a psychiatrist, most therapists are licensed social workers or have a PhD in psychology, and they are not legally able to prescribe medication, so you probably don't need to worry about that at the outset. But if you make it clear that you don't want medications and they insist, then they are not respecting your wishes and may not be the right therapist for you.

I'm not saying you can't get help right away. At the very least, even on a first visit, the therapist can provide an opportunity to voice your feelings out loud, which can feel like a relief.

But it might take some trial and error to find the right therapist for you. Please don't let this discourage you, as a good therapist can be a great help. As to how long it will take to feel better, no one knows. It's a process. But there is some benefit right away in just having someone to listen to what has been troubling you.

Best of luck to you.

Thanks so much for the advice. I plan to try calling this place again on Tuesday that I really want to get into because they supposedly have Saturday appointments. I just don't know exactly how the new therapist will react to me telling them about my thoughts and prior intentions. As I said in my original post, I don't want to be sent away to a mental hospital because that's not what I need. I do sometimes wish I was dead, but I have no plans right now to make it happen. I just need a safe place to talk to someone about why I sometimes wish I was dead so I can find ways to channel my thoughts differently. Also, I don't want to have to search long and hard for a therapist. I'm hoping that if I just pick an experienced female, then I'll be satisfied.

They can't send you to a hospital for how you felt in the past, even if it was very recently. They can ONLY send you if they believe you are a danger to yourself or to others in the IMMEDIATE moment. I don't know what country you are in but at least that is true in the United States.

I (24F) have been wanting to get into therapy for awhile but I’m having a hard time finding a therapist. I’ve only suspected that I have autism for about 2 years now and I’m at a loss for what to do next. I don’t particularly want to seek out a diagnosis because of all the stories I’ve heard about diagnosticians being very invalidating despite how prepared and informed you are about autism. However, I’m having trouble coping with my autistic traits, among other mental health issues, and would like professional help. I don’t want to go to a therapist that isn’t informed about autism because the advice I’ve seen for allistic people with depression/trauma/anxiety/social anxiety has never helped me much. (ie. if you’re exhibiting depressive traits you should try to go outside and be social, but when I exhibit these traits I need isolation to recover) I also need to find a therapist on my insurance but almost all of them say their main modality is CBT, which I’m trying to avoid. My last therapist was a CBT therapist and I found him incredibly invalidating and belittling (but he was probably also just a bad therapist in general). I’ve been searching through all the therapists listed on my insurances website to try to find one but all I find are CBT therapists or autism groups aimed at children. I don’t want to go out of network because I would feel very uncomfortable negotiating price. I have no income at the moment but my parents are upper-middle class. However, they’re not willing to pay full price for a therapist which is what I feel they would deserve. I’m not entitled to my parents money but it would feel horrible to get a reduced price that could go to someone who actually needs it. Any tips for finding a good therapist are greatly appreciated. Even if it’s just red or green flags to look for in therapists bios. Or if you have a good therapist in CA I’d like to look into them as well.

Therapy is very insidious these days. It's presented to prospective patients as a helpful cure (as long as YoU eNgAgE aNd Do ThE wOrK, of course), only for that element to be denied the moment you walk into a therapist's office. Per my readings, you MUST fit into as many of these demographics as you can, in order for a therapist to legitimately help you. Otherwise, your odds get exponentially lower and lower.
1. Female
2. Middle-aged
3. Well-versed in emotion words
4. Middle class (not required for charity/county therapists)
5. A parent (most therapists are parents themselves)

This explains why my mother was head-over-heels in love with the therapist I saw as a preteen and teen. In a platonic female camaraderie kind of way, obviously, presumably an alliance against me. My father had a restrained "she seems nice" reaction to her, but seemed to kind of like her, as she was on his side too, by the virtue of them both being parents, close in age, and him probably knowing what she wanted to hear.

If you don't fit into these demographics, you'll waste your time and money at best, and be harmed at worst. You're 27, probably not a mother, and I don't know your income level or emotion word skills. You might get lucky, but going by pure statistics, your odds with therapy are not looking good. Sorry.

One website I strongly recommend reading prior to trying therapy is Reddit's r/TherapyAbuse (https://www.reddit.com/r/therapyabuse/). It does to the therapy industry today what "The Jungle" by Upton Sinclair did to the meatpacking industry in 1906. I joined it last week, and found its posts to perfectly match every single one of my therapy experiences I had in my entire life, even the modestly good ones.

I booked an appointment with a therapist in my area who takes my insurance. It's on a Saturday morning in 2 weeks, which fits perfectly with my schedule. I believe she is an LCDP(licensed clinical dependency professional). I am really hoping it works out because it checks all the required boxes for me. (Weekends, local, insurance is accepted, and also does other services)

Here's the thing though. Monday I was really sad and Tuesday night I cried a lot. However, yesterday and today I have been feeling fantastic! They have been the best days, yet nothing exciting happened really. Just the kids I work with were happy, polite, and well behaved which always makes me happier. Plus, my friend who was really being mean to me before has been much better towards me lately. We go out during lunch together and spend time together which is nice. The only problem is that I'm wondering if I still need help since I l'm not suicidal anymore. I mean, I'll still go to the therapy appointment, but right now, it almost feels like going to the doctor at the tail end of the cold. You got an appointment, but you're not really stuffy and coughing anymore. Any thoughts on this? Is the happiness likely just temporary?

Go to the appointment. Better to deal with your issues when you are in a better state and can think clearly.

Good luck

Keep the appointment and if it turns out to be a great therapist, keep the person. To be able to find a therapist who works on Saturdays is practically unheard of. The fact that this person can accommodate your schedule on the weekend is like finding a diamond in a coal mine. Don't lose this opportunity.