How have you learned to change your behavior?

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IMO lives not about putting the past in the past but learning why you have bad behavior and how to fix that behavior so you don't screw up again. I tend to upset everyone around me so at times things are discouraging. I found out a friend is going to College in North Carolina which has me REALLY emotional! I LOVED COLLEGE! (of course the cost etc. it's not feasabile but I'm hoping this time next year start back perhaps online courses getting my AA) I feel others are rising above me and I'm stagnent! My older sister said she knew someone who was a lawyer at 23 (my age the older sister is 27 wanting to become a lawyer) my sister said it's ok she has a son/husband IMO I can't think positive like that. 1/2% Ya no loan debt 99.50% OMG I MISS COLLEGE! I LOVE LEARNING SHEESH!! !! !! !! ! I have the mindset that fixing my issues are about learning while others are either A) take a pill or B) Just get on with your life (IMO uh are you going to be there when I have bad behavior and land in jail NO!! !! !! !! !! !) Does anyone have any good advice to help me? Thanks WP Members.

Since I live among the NTs and my prosperity depends to some extent on how well I relate to the NTs I made it my business over the years to study NT behavior rules and customs very carefully. Since I was born with little intuitive ability to "get inside the heads" of NTs (that is part of the problem of being an Aspie) I had to learn the essence of NT from the outside in, rather than intuiting the inner workings. Sort of like learning the language and customs of a society very different from one's own. However I stuck to it and learned the folkways of the NTs sufficiently well that I learned to "pass" as an NT. I.E., I suppressed my normal inclinations in social situations with NTs sufficiently that it caused little or no awkwardness. After a while "passing" for NT became a habit. It is like learning to ride a bike. Once one does, he never really forgets how.

My advice:

Study the NTs. Formulate and verify working hypotheses of how they act in various situations. Apply your hypotheses. Think of it as learning to paint by the numbers or mastering a foreign language.

ruveyn

I haven't really learned to change my behavior, apart from soem coping strategies that take the edge off of a meltdown (eg. retreating to a quiet place). The rest is more growth than actual learning.

Mine just change by their own

This is certainly how I've ended up living my life! It is a delicate balancing act--the things that make me happy, vs. the things that enable me to get on adequately in society--but as far as I can tell, that's just life for most folks on the planet, anyway, in some form or other. I find that pushing myself to do a certain number of social functions a month (not a very large number since my nt husband is not too social himself) keeps me from being a complete hermit. It is good to push the limits of my comfort zone, because it keeps them flexible, even if I have to perpetually relearn the behavior rules. If I approach these situations as an intellectual challenge, there is a certain amount of self-esteem at having a "good night" and at worst, admitting I'm still alive if it doesn't go so well.

my biggest challenge has been shame over failure and getting over thinking I should know how to do stuff I don't.

I can do very well among regular people, but my ability to function is easily impaired by outside pressure from other people. how to change that, I don't know. I can only do what I can do, so I focus on what is most important.

I'd like to go back to school and find a new career and become self-supporting again, but I think it will take another 5 years because I can't be a good mom and a career woman. somehow I managed to support a husband and 2 kids on 2 jobs and do all the housework 6-7 years ago, but the emotional turmoil of my ex abusing me during the marriage then trying to destroy me financially and my son emotionally because I divorced him has left me with PTSD and little energy, and a lot of fear about trying to do too much.

so, right now I have to accept where I'm at. there are a lot of things I wish I'd done differently and won't do again, and I will use what I've learned to do things differently if I find myself in a position to follow my dreams. somehow that doesn't make it easier to be stuck where I am, but it does give me incentive to work toward something better while not putting myself down for ending up where I am.

Not sure I have. I've got along by being different but brilliant (immodest, but we're being honest here, aren't we?). I thought I was different because I was brilliant; I now suspect I might have been brilliant because I'm different. I thought I was unpopular because I was intimidating; now I think perhaps I'm just unpopular.