"Loser" is such a hateful term.

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And what does it even mean to be a "loser"? That you constantly lose? What I know is that myself - and I'm sure most of you as well - have constantly been called that. Who defines what a "loser" is? Why do so many people use a term that is so baseless - yet so loaded - to constantly ostracize us?

Last edited by Cornflake on 01 Apr 2023, 12:26 pm, edited 1 time in total.: Removed a sweeping attack on a group

When I was growing up in the 80s, "loser" meant you weren't attractive to the opposite sex. Not sure if the meaning has changed now or not.

I guess it's because neurotypicals often judge a person based on their social skills, communication, and social presentation etc. Areas in which Autistics can often be weaker. And so may be subject to multitude negative judgements and insulting terms as a result. I understand that just because I may not be a genius in those areas it doesn't apply that I'm a ret*d across the board, in every aspect of life. I, and I guess many Autistic people understand and recognise that, but I don't think your typical neurotypical is going to grasp that any time soon.

My Autism diagnosis has allowed me to free myself from the negative judgements of other people to a much greater extent. I will never be completely immune and thick skinned but the diagnosis has definitely helped. It's much easier to think along the lines of 'they simply don't understand, so why should I put weight on their opinions and judgements and really take them to heart' etc.

Words only have the power you choose to give them. "Loser" has no power over me, so I can ignore it or let it go by without much thought.

I had one resident Dr. call me a "loner" which I thought was bad judgement. I take offense to that.

I prefer "introvert". I am definitely an introvert...it is a clear, strong preference for me.

I took my team to the cup final as captain 3 years in row , lost all 3 games. The next year I was injured for most of the season , the team won the cup that year. I have 3 loser trophies and am a loser

Yes it's hate speech, not much else. I guess that's why the term makes so little rational sense. It presumes and endorses a highly competitive environment in which it's meaningful and desirable to sit in unqualified judgement and to assign binary quality flags to individuals - in the eyes of those who bandy the term around, I suppose I'm a loser for describing it in such a nerdy way, because those who like to use the term are usually anti-intellectual.

Of course there are people who have failed more often than the average human, so far. But that's not quite the same thing. It allows for using failure as a chance to learn. It allows that an individual might have been setting their sights too high or choosing the wrong field of endeavour. It allows that an individual has been embarking on missions without adequate preparation. "Loser" doesn't want to see those nuances, it just wants to glue a negative label onto people that the labeller doesn't happen to like, and to encourage others - especially the labelled - to believe it's a sincere, accurate description. Luckily it doesn't always get what it wants.

According to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary . . .

loser (n):
1 - a person or thing that loses especially consistently
2 - a person who is incompetent or unable to succeed
also : something doomed to fail or disappointIt sure seems that way.Society, especially the "Winners".Mainly, because they can; but also because the label seems to fit, especially under the dictionary definition.