Experiencing meltdowns

Post Reply New Topic

Since getting diagnosed with autism as an adult a few months ago and beginning the process of unmasking, I've noticed I'm experiencing what feels like more meltdowns than prior. I'm not sure if maybe I've always experienced them, but only now am noticing them because of the diagnosis/learning more about autism in general.

I recently bought some new clothes and got my first proper haircut in over a year, however the past two nights I have gone into total meltdown mode and during the process I've had to hide all of my new purchases away and replace them with their older formers because the mere thought of their existence made me so unbelievably anxious and upset.

Not really sure what the purpose of this post is, just sort of voicing my recent realization that meltdowns are something I now appear to experience, and I've probably been experiencing them for a while under the guise of just being "stressed out". I feel like I'm going through a somewhat identity crisis currently and it's quite intense. Wondering if anyone else started to notice something similar if you were diagnosed as an adult?

I'm still on a waitlist for an autism assessment, but in the past year it's become more and more clear to my partner and I that I am on the spectrum

I've had multiple "oh, this is an autism thing" moments, and just this week I realized that I experience meltdowns. It didn't occur to me because I had previously assumed that they were supposed to be more "explosive" and were specifically a result of sensory overload. But I read an article that reflected my experience with them, and it made more sense to me

When I get overwhelmed, usually as a result of intense conversations or loud voices, I suddenly become very stupid and I have trouble talking or thinking straight. I start crying and I have to cover my face and sit down. In order to go back to normal I have to remove myself from the situation and sit alone for a while

I remember my old therapist used to be confused about the fact that I'd start covering my face in the middle of a session and not be able to look at her or engage with her sometimes until we had sat on the floor for a while facing away from each other. It would have been helpful to know this back then, to have a word to put to it.

It makes sense to me that your meltdowns have gotten more frequent now that you're unmasking and now that you know what they are- you might be "letting" yourself experience them more as a way of processing this new information about yourself. Maybe in time you can also learn to better identify their triggers, so you can prevent them more often in the future.